HLVV Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Introducing Vistashock, the award-winning new OS (Obfuscating System) from Microshock, the world leader in shocking software.Never mind System Shock and its successor Bioshock, where you can visit the dystopian undersea city of Rapture and do battle with genetic mutants. Now you can plumb even greater depths. Vistashock will take you into a creepy nightmare world where you need to keep your wits about you and stretch your abilities to the limits just to complete the simplest goal (like sending an eek-mail) without falling foul of the lurking baddies. The graphics interface breaks new grounds with its startling use of Alfa Glass technology, which as any optimist will tell you is better than none. The dark, gloomy theme featuring black taskbars and windows will chill you to the core. Vistashock dares you try to make out what evils lurk half visible behind the semi-translucent window frames. Once in Vistashock?s atmospheric and disturbing world, you are transported into a chilling domain which clutches you to its bosom and challenges your faculties. It is hard to pigeon-hole Vistashock into any simple genre, but it can best be described as a development on the FPS (Fast Pass to Suicide) theme. You will not have to face the challenges of Vistashock alone. Your friend is the search box at the bottom of the Startle Menu. Try keying in the letters H - E - L - P ? You can also try prayer. Vistashock will lead you through a series of daunting tests. Starting with simple goals, like emptying the Bin of Death. Will your nerve hold up as you wait for Vistashock to calculate the minutes left to you? If you pass that test you must learn how to escape from the clutches of the DiskThrasher, the evil demon which drives your hard disk into an uncontrollable frenzy when you attempt to awake Vistashock from its state of CorpseSleep. If you are brave enough to play on, you will meet UAC (the Ugly Abominable Creep) which leaps out at you when you least expect him whenever you try to attain the goal of Installation. The UAC will hurl insults at you, accusing you of attempting to dabble deep in the bowels of Vistashock?s forbidden zone. You have to be very deft with your mouse to banish the UAC back to the stinking swamp from which it arose. As you progress through Vistashock, you will naturally look for an unfolding story to make sense of everything that happens. This could be the hardest challenge of all. Because, frankly, you can forget trying to decipher the plot. Microshock have lost it. Found here: http://hastalavistavista.wordpress.com/200.../04/vistashock/ This was posted a couple of days ago by someone else, to a mixed reception, but the thread was deleted because the comments got a bit personal. Anyway, I thought it was cute enough to deserve a second airing. Won't be to everyone's taste, particularly if you are a bit sensitive about criticism of Vista. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RatherLargeBear Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 This really didn't need to be posted again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLVV Posted September 8, 2007 Author Share Posted September 8, 2007 This really didn't need to be posted again. Howdy, 'bear. Nice to know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nashy Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 ^ WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rahul Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 weak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKAngel Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 so so so sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impact Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 One word: stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreadBoat89 Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 its like every article written bashing vista: immature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WooSH Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 wow, not only did you post a very lame article which lead me wondering the whole time as i was reading, whether it was trying to be funny, BUT that link you provided looks to be YOUR blog which has the same swirly loading animation as your avatar, AND has a link to it in your sig. Sorry you wasted so much time on that, but it only proves that people who bash at these things REALLY, no i mean REALLY have nothing better to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLVV Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 wow, not only did you post a very lame article which lead me wondering the whole time as i was reading, whether it was trying to be funny, BUT that link you provided looks to be YOUR blog which has the same swirly loading animation as your avatar, AND has a link to it in your sig. Sorry you wasted so much time on that, but it only proves that people who bash at these things REALLY, no i mean REALLY have nothing better to do. If you don't find it funny, then you don't find it funny. No-one can force you to laugh and I'm not a professional comedian so I won't lose too much sleep. Yes, I did write it. A forum member from Russia (who did like it) had posted it and I became aware because I started getting loads of hits from this site. I found the post but it was deleted after only being up for a day or so. I hadn't been aware of neowin but it looks interesting so I decided to join. I thought it might be worth reposting the Vistashock article because it had been cut down in its prime so to speak, but clearly most commenters on the forum don't rate it. Not a worry to me. Bear in mind that Vista was a "shock" for some early adopters, myself included when I acquired it with a new PC in March. I was plagued with freeze ups, disk thrashing and numerous incompatibilities. I started my blog to document these experiences. They were handled fairly. I am a long time Windows user and take no joy from being Microsoft basher for the sake of it. I went back to XP for a while, and initially that improved the performance on my PC manyfold. It is only since the recent optional compatibility and performance updates that I have been able to go back to Vista, but I am now fine with it and do not expect to go back to XP. My Vistashock article was consistent with the "story so far" in my blog, based on the problems reported earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Montage Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Wasn't funny last week. Isn't funny this week. You're not supposed to create new threads to replace closed ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLVV Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Wasn't funny last week.Isn't funny this week. You're not supposed to create new threads to replace closed ones! I'll bear that in mind for the future. Not likely to be an obstacle to enjoyment of this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halcyoncmdr Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Its amusing, but not worth even a chuckle. It bashes windows and attempts to do it while being "funny". But it fails at both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLVV Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Its amusing, but not worth even a chuckle. It bashes windows and attempts to do it while being "funny". But it fails at both. Is this forum always so warm and welcoming to noobs. Is this some kind of initiation rite? I've explained the background and context. I'm not a gratuitous Vista basher. My problems with it were genuine. Nor am I alone, judging by the number of hits on my site from people looking for solutions to the same issues, even now. I really don't mind if you don't think the post is funny, but I get the feeling there is some serious oversensitivity towards criticism of Vista, even if it is objective, real, balanced and in my case historic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreadBoat89 Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Is this forum always so warm and welcoming to noobs. Is this some kind of initiation rite?I've explained the background and context. I'm not a gratuitous Vista basher. My problems with it were genuine. Nor am I alone, judging by the number of hits on my site from people looking for solutions to the same issues, even now. I really don't mind if you don't think the post is funny, but I get the feeling there is some serious oversensitivity towards criticism of Vista, even if it is objective, real, balanced and in my case historic. this forum has seen too much vista bashing... i think people are tired of seeing these "articles". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLVV Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 this forum has seen too much vista bashing... i think people are tired of seeing these "articles". I can understand that, and I can understand why you might read the article and jump to the conclusion it's just another Apple fan-boy having a cheap laugh at Vista's expense. Taken on its own it looks a bit like that. Take the blog as a whole and you get a slightly different picture. I emailed Vistashock to Paul Thurrott, who writes the WinSupersite and does the Windows Weekly podcast on the TWiT network. He is known to have played Bioshock on the Xbox. He replied and actually did think it was worth a smiley, and he must be on the receiving end of a lot more Vista bashing than anyone. He also left a comment on an earlier post (Bioshlock) reviewing the Bioshock demo. That one wasn't intended as a humour piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agnes Leroy Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 (edited) I was the one who first posted the topic. I posted it in the jokes section and I thought it was OK ( I don't know why it was deleted, I was offline most of the time since then) BTW, I am not from Russia, it is just another way to prevent identifying me at first glance. Edited September 12, 2007 by knight17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pharos Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Am I the only one who found it funny? :unsure: (I love Vista, btw.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argonite Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 I didn't find it funny. Even I can bash Vista better, and I like Vista. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Frothy Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 A funny without a pic is just not that funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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