Ok, bought my wife an iPod yesterday ... charged it all up and was going to transfer some cds to it for her today ... but it started to transfer all my songs in my itunes library, question is, how do i delete all the songs it transfered and just transfer some cds she has and wants on it ?

Right-click the iPod when it is mounted, and choose "options". From there you can choose "Selective syncing", which will only sync your selected playlists.

ok so how do i delete the songs on the iPod currently ?

You will need to use some other software such as....
http://www.kennettnet.co.uk/software/podutil.php

Why would he have to do this? The other option is, since these settings are iPod specific... to tell it to update the selected playlists only, or even, checked songs only. Why go use some 3rd party stuff when it works fine with what he has already.