Happy Valentine

By Muhammad Farrukh
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Grand Master

Muhammad Farrukh

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There's been so much hate and self-righteous indignation in tech blog circles lately. Name calling. Ugly accusations. Petty bickering. It's even divided good friends, brother against brother. Can't we all just get along? {C}

I want to start with you, Nick Bilton, because it was your post that kicked all this off. Here's the thing: You were right! Path ****ed up, badly. And Silicon Valley is far too chummy. Reporters should be more critical, and less prone to roll over for an apology. We're the ones who showed the belly. Also? Glad to have you in Frisco. (And BTW people here love it when you call it Frisco.)

And MG Siegler, your counterpoint was also valid. At least, part of it was, buried somewhere in the thousands of words you threw at it. You're right about tech blogging having too much of a push to publish, publish, publish. The rush to spew half-ass content out hurts everyone. But you know, I do trust Bilton's reporting. He's got bona fides that guys like you and I may never have. You were off-base in your attack on him. Here's what you and Arrington need to understand: everything you say is suspect. You're running a fund now and, fairly or not, that means people will perceive you as biased. Deal with it. Wear that, like your delightful little glasses in which you are quite handsome.

Dan Lyons? You made fun of me when you were pretending to be Steve Jobs. But whatever, I have a sense of humor about that. (Of course, you got your facts wrong. I was there for six months, and it was Wired that I was writing for.) And, quite frankly, when people call you out for being a crank, they've had a point more often than not in recent years. But your description of the problems created when journalists have financial stakes in the companies and industries they cover was solid. More to the point, as everyone?even MG?has pointed out, when you put your heart into your writing it's a joy to read. Thanks, man. Let's make out. Seriously. I want to make out with you.

Kara Swisher! Goodness gracious. You bring old-school reporting chops to (kinda) new media and it's fantastic. And especially I love it when you are cranky on Twitter. We met in person once, and you were way past rude to me. Way. Past. But you also linked my CES post, and despite your beefs with @blam and Gizmodo, I think you're aces. Let's be friends. I know you already got mo' scoops than Ben & Jerry's on free cone day, but let's hang and I'll buy you some ice cream. There is nothing like a waffle cone to cement a new friendship.

I love you, too, Gabe Rivera. Especially because MG told me he'd make sure you put this post on the top of Techmeme. This is, after all, a shameless inside baseball post.

Beschizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzza!!!!!!!!

And Sarah Lacy? I've been a fan of yours for years and years. Look, you're going to have all kinds of conflict-of-interest accusations lobbed at you because of all that VC money you took at PandoDaily. But that just means you'll have to work harder to show you're fair. I know you can do that. Hell, you seem to live to work hard. You've already had some great stories. Please do more. Also, your kid is pretty darn cute.

And then there's Josh Topolsky. Topolsky is out there, every day, proving people wrong who say that nobody can wear a suit as well as Pete Cashmore. And look, man, I may also owe you an apology. I know you didn't really put an iPad 2 in your ass. That wasn't nice of me. I was just hurt because you never invited me to your trailer at CES. Next year?

And while we're talking Verge writers. Laura June? You are fantastically funny. I know you are an editor, but you should write more. I suspect you may be spending too much time on Twitter talking to matt buchanan about hot chocolate.

Oh man. And don't even get me started about Alexis Madrigal. Sure, you've made The Atlantic a tech destination, and I love making magazines with you. But that mustache you are kicking now? Those waxed ends? I want to build a house on one end and commute to my office on the other. Would that be okay with you? I do not care. I am doing it.

Oh, and, Matt Yglesias, I know you aren't really a tech blogger, and look, I know you called me a "Bay Area burrito snob." But it's all good, broseph. And for real. My offer still stands. Let's do this thing.

Engadget! Is there anyone still there? I bet you guys are great. I'll check in again soon.

Farhad Manjoo: I cannot believe it took us so long to meet in person. Congratulations on the book deal. You deserve it! I do not even have anything backhanded to say to you. You go, girl.

And what can I say about good old Walt Mossberg that hasn't already been said?

Oh, man. And then there's John Gruber. Gruber and Gizmodo have a long, and often contentious history. You can be a total dick, John Gruber. Total. Dick. And of course everyone just assumes you are a secret Apple employee at this point. But that's also kind of why I love you. You can be a jerk, sure, but you're infuriatingly so often right. Plus you're funny on Twitter, and you link my **** on occasions. I enjoyed meeting your lovely wife at Macworld this year. She's much more charming than you are. Happy Valentine's Day to you both.

I have not forgotten about you, people of Wired. There are too many of you to call out by name, because quite honestly I am afraid I would miss somebody and offend him or her. But I miss working with y'all. You do great work. Please invite me over for Start Lounge. I will totally be there and will even bring liquor.

Jenna Wortham! Jenny Deluxe! Jenna-***********ing-Wortham! If the management at the New York Times had any damn sense, they'd give you Pogue's column.

Update: Megan McCarthy. Thank you for the DM on Twitter! How could I have forgotten about you in the original version of this story that went live ten minutes ago? You are right! BetaBeat is doing awesome stuff, and yes I did forget it because it was new. Although, in fairness, older than the Verge. I think. But yes. Holla!

How have I made it this far without mentioning the blogfather? Anil Dash. I mean, Nick Denton. Nick, I love it when you write. I know it's rare these days, but you've got a great voice and remarkable editorial vision. (If terrible taste in music.) I really wish you'd start writing again regularly. And I don't just say that because you pay me. Well. Maybe I do. You'll never know!

In short, I love all y'all.

And that's not just the bright sunny day, or the ecstasy I took this afternoon talking. We are living in a new golden age of journalism, even if we don't realize it yet. One where individuals and little startups are capable of building up just as many readers and credibility as the most storied names in journalism. It's a meritocracy now.

And while we're often all lumped together as tech bloggers, we do different things, and come at them from different angles. Some of us are trying to get scoops, others are trying to do deeper reporting, or explain how things work, or evaluate products, or tell literary stories that try to contextualize the culture. We want to inform, serve, and even entertain. We're aided and handcuffed by the mind-blowing speed at which we have to not only write, but publish. We're making up history as we go, getting facts right and wrong, being vindictive and wonderful, and trying really, really hard to explain this weird new hyper-connected world we that all stomp across. And at the end of the day we're all just humans. And I love you, all of you, who make the Web what it is.

Except you, Mike Arrington. I don't love you. You're a boil on the ass of the industry.

Oh, what the ****. You too. Even you. Especially you, Mike. TechCrunch has had some great stories over the years, and you've managed to do a lot of great things there, despite yourself. After today maybe I'll go back to loathing you. But for now?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Gizmodo

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