DaDude, on 11 July 2012 - 13:15, said:
I'm sorry. But those two statements contradict each other and I'm a bit confused. If I don't go out looking, then I won't have any motivation to gain some confidence and ask girls out. Because when guys are asking girls out, aren't they looking? And when a guy isn't looking, then he does not ask girls out, no?
Or are you saying that if I don't go out looking, I will just gain the self-confidence without realizing it and before I know it, I will ask girls out without giving it a second thought??
Overall point is simply that there is no right way to meet women because different things work for different people. If you find you have problems asking girls out in the first place, just go ask out 20 people. You will get regetted most of the time if not all, but that just gets you over fear of it.
My point with the don't look for it part is that if you try to hard, you are ruining your chances. If you are looking for it, you will do things that you don't like and become someone you are not, ultimately leading to the downfall of any relationship you may have gained from it. That is how people end up old and alone these days. They spend 20 years trying to be someone they are not and then when they finally grow up and realize that that is no way to lead their life, they end up in divorce at 40 or 50. Happened to my parents. If you are not looking for it, you'll find it. I realize how illogical that sounds but it works because you will go places and do things that you enjoy and meet people with similar interests. Girls don't like desperate types and if you are looking for it, you fall into the category of desperate. There is nothing wrong with being 26 and single. Statistics are showing that the more educated younger adults are waiting longer and longer to get married and have kids. It is the whole basis for the movie Idiocracy(hilarious btw). Most of the people I graduated high school with are married, engaged, with child, or some mix of those. Until last week, I was one of 3 people in my circle of friends that was still single. All three of us own houses, nice cars, have college educations, and have little money worries. You would think we are exactly what people want. Don't bother trying to attach logic to your situation. Relationship and love have nothing to do with logic. There is nothing logical about either of those other than the nice tax breaks you get from marriage and kids. Just because all your friends and people around you that are your age are in relationships doesn't mean you should be also. Remember, divorce rates are rising. Do you really want to be part of the status quo?