214 posts in this topic

Of course they are, they are telling him how, when and why to use his mobile, he has to give it them back every night, can't take it it school, can't do this, can't do that.

I'd hate to live with his parents if they are like this over a freaking phone.

That's where you made the mistake: it is not HIS phone. You want a phone without rules/guidelines? Then quite being spoiled snot-nosed brats and EARN THE MONEY AND BUY IT!! But, when you're being spoon fed things and acting as if people owe it to you to give you a phone, you should have zero opinion on the rules applied to its use.

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Some of those are just stupid and contradictory.

Always answer the phone? What if it is after 7.30pm so he doesn't have it?

Don't receive pictures of other peoples private parts? You can't control what people send you!

Etc etc.

I agree with the general principle, but I think just saying "use common sense and if you don't I will take the phone off you" is good enough tbh.

How is that contradictory, the phone is turned off, it won't ring. and the rules did NOT say always answer the phone, learn to read. it says do no ignore, and always answer mom and dad.

Kids are kids, they don't know common sense yet, it has to be taught. which btw is common sense, so you might be missing some ;p

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How is that contradictory, the phone is turned off, it won't ring. and the rules did NOT say always answer the phone, learn to read. it says do no ignore, and always answer mom and dad.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

That to me means always answer the phone, if he doesn't answer it then he breaks part of rule 3

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The Kid will properly hate her a bit. But once he grow older and soon will discover and appreciate what direction her mother pointed for him. Hey, we all had our time too :)

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That's where you made the mistake: it is not HIS phone. You want a phone without rules/guidelines? Then quite being spoiled snot-nosed brats and EARN THE MONEY AND BUY IT!! But, when you're being spoon fed things and acting as if people owe it to you to give you a phone, you should have zero opinion on the rules applied to its use.

Yeah -- it's not really a Christmas gift, if it still belongs to Mom.

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Yeah -- it's not really a Christmas gift, if it still belongs to Mom.

Its not a gift at all really lol, it would just be a PITA :p

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Rule 17 - Talk to a stranger.

Is she seriously telling her son to talk to strangers? I was told the opposite as a child.

Then that's a problem. It is not about offering your body to strangers.

It's about learning how to start interaction with people you never met before. So many kids I met are AWFUL at that, either they over-trust strangers at very first talk, or stay absolutely quiet no matter what, and of course a lot more other attitude problem. There's a careful balance about how you start a conversation when you first meet a stranger. Kids NEED to learn this to be sociable, likeable, and outgoing.

edit: keep in context that it's a 13 years old teenager. Not a 3 year-old toddler.

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That's the thing.. common sense, it shouldn't have to be written out in a set of rules for you.

Common sense from a 13 year old boy with his first new iPhone? Does not compute!

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1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea.

Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.

And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

I agree with some points, but there are some other points are down-right stalking and pointless.

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I'd tell her to shove it, theres no need to be so controlling.

There's also no need to give a 13 year old a smartphone. They can deal with it or not get one. Simple. It's part of being responsible and growing up.

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I think that this is great, and if a child hands it back saying whatever explitive to the parent, that shows that they are clearly not ready for the responsibility.

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Live life or take pictures of other pictures living life so you can look back at the pictures and remember other people living life ?

it seems most of the crits here don't really read or understand the rules.

if taking pics stops your life, you're doing it wrong
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if taking pics stops your life, you're doing it wrong

Yea, I've heard of Long Time Exposure, but that could be taking it way too far :rofl:

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I think that this is great, and if a child hands it back saying whatever explitive to the parent, that shows that they are clearly not ready for the responsibility.

If a child hands it back, that means that child is smart: the cons of using a loaned device out-weight the pros.

The child does not have any responsibility by using a loaned device and they know the device does not belong to them so they don't care.

If you want them to be ready for the responsibility, let them fully own the device. But set the rules that you will take the device away FROM them if they break the rules.

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can't believe some of you all think this is controlling. When I was 13 I got my first computer, my parents put restrictions on that as well. The mom is getting the kid an iphone and he is 13! If you all don't believe a 13 year old needs some kind of rules with that, then you haven't seen much of todays generation I guess. Shes actually trying to teach him how to take full advantage of it, but while not deterring him from his studies etc. kids are growing up quick these days with all this technology around them, and they need some kind of guidance with that

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can't believe some of you all think this is controlling. When I was 13 I got my first computer, my parents put restrictions on that as well. The mom is getting the kid an iphone and he is 13! If you all don't believe a 13 year old needs some kind of rules with that, then you haven't seen much of todays generation I guess. Shes actually trying to teach him how to take full advantage of it, but while not deterring him from his studies etc. kids are growing up quick these days with all this technology around them, and they need some kind of guidance with that

Yes of course, because the 13yo never touched another portable internet device before. /s

The guidance happens gradually, does not happen over-night.

As a matter of fact the mother wrote so many rules for her 13yo that gives me the impression that she never did anything with her 13yo before.

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I can do that with my own set of morals, I don't need some jumped up parent controlling every little aspect of my life.

Well old are you, this kid is 13... there's a difference because of the age.

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if taking pics stops your life, you're doing it wrong

read the actual "rule" again, it's not about one pic, it's about constantly doing nothing other than taking pics.

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He'll only be using this phone no more then 20 hours a week anyway and it'll rarely leave the house.

Can't use it at school, and has to hand it over in the evenings. Meaning, Mon-Fri he'll only be using it between 4 and 7pm and on weekends only during the day.

Why would you spend so much on a device that hardly gets used?

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because he wants it, and because he knows the rules, and because it's worth it to him, and because if you apply that rule to TV, laptop, car... well everything but your bed, you don't have anything

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If she was planning to use the list broadly to edify her child and teach common sense/responsibility, then I don't see a problem with it. However, I don't think a "contract" is the best way of going about it.

On the other hand, if she's going to fully enforce each and every one of these rules to the letter, then it seems over-the-top and overbearing to me. If so, he's not really the owner and hasn't actually received a gift in accordance with Rule 1.

Also, I don't see a problem with a parent giving a phone to their 13-year-old child. It may not have happened in your age, but things change with time.

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those rules don't seem so hard to follow...

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"3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever."

First thing I'd tell the kid is: Run. Run and never come back. Never answer the phone if it reads 'Mom' or 'Dad'. Leave the phone. RUN FOREST, RUN!

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Stupid as hell... they are obviousy going to give the child no privacy ... this is fine for his age but what in 2 years? boys need that privacy away from their families .... if my mother ever did this I would say keep the phone, she goes on about living his own life... she means ... choose to live the life I have planned for you...

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I don't see anything in those rules that say they're not getting any privacy, I see sensible common sense rules. a 13 year old has privacy in his room.

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