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Friend washed my jeans and damaged everything in the pockets


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#31 nekkidtruth

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:03

I think normal people usually empty their pockets before taking their pants off in the first place... Unless we're talking about a little kid's pants.


Normal people? I know very few people who don't remove what is in their pockets on a pair of jeans they plan on wearing again before washing and or work pants they don't wash every single day. It is not abnormal to keep items you need regularly in your pants.

As for the OP, I would definitely sit down and discuss what can be done about the situation. Ask her if she bothers to check her jeans before throwing them in the wash. People make mistakes and I don't think a friendship should end over it. Personally, I would pay her the money I owe her and let her decide whether she feels she should replace the headphones or at least only take back half the money you owe. If she takes the full $100 and says or does nothing with regards to damaging your property, I would let her know that I was disappointed and it definitely impacts our friendship.


#32 zhangm

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:04

If you said you'd pay her back the borrowed money, then you still have to do it. Treat the pants as a separate and unrelated issue; you don't put stipulations and modifications on agreements or pledges after they've been made.

#33 +virtorio

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:53

I think normal people usually empty their pockets before taking their pants off in the first place... Unless we're talking about a little kid's pants.

Define normal. I usually have coins and receipts on my pockets which I empty before I wash them.

....I suppose its also her fault if the meal is cold because you're 20 minutes late.... :laugh:

Yes if she doesn't normally make you dinner and didn't bother to tell you she was making dinner.

#34 OP ACTIONpack

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:00

Well she said that is was my fault for leaving my wallet and headphones in my jeans which were were near the washer or dry. Her place is a complete mess so if I leave my stuff out of the jean pocket it would take over an hour to find it. She said that her ex-husband would get upset because he would leave his stuff in his pant when she start using wash cloths. But I'm not going to hang out with her again because of her heavy drinking and don't want to start up again.

#35 cork1958

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:06

What kind of dumb a** DOESN'T check pockets in pants first?! Was that the VERY FIRST time she's ever done laundry? With your wallet and everything else in them, how could she have POSSIBLY not have felt the weight?

I wouldn't pay her a nickel back, period!!

"But I'm not going to hang out with her again because of her heavy drinking and don't want to start up again."

Very good idea :)

#36 nekkidtruth

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:07

Well she said that is was my fault for leaving my wallet and headphones in my jeans which were were near the washer or dry. Her place is a complete mess so if I leave my stuff out of the jean pocket it would take over an hour to find it. She said that her ex-husband would get upset because he would leave his stuff in his pant when she start using wash cloths. But I'm not going to hang out with her again because of her heavy drinking and don't want to start up again.


Whoa whoa whoa. So this is habit for her? To wash jeans without checking the pockets? It's been pointed out to her before, multiple times? Sounds to me like someone has more than just a drinking problem....as much as I'd love to say keep the money and tell her where to go, just give her the money and don't look back. She doesn't really sound like a friend to me. She doesn't sound like someone mature enough to take responsibility for her actions.

I know it sucks cause you lose out on the headphones, but I'd say that's a small price to pay to be done with her immaturity.

#37 remixedcat

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:26

who the hell wears skinny jeans anyways.... you don't wash em you lick em.

#38 MikeChipshop

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:43

Talk to your friend about it. Don;t withhold the money you owe her but sit down with each other and work out how it can be settled.

#39 Jeston

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:57

Normal people? I know very few people who don't remove what is in their pockets on a pair of jeans they plan on wearing again before washing and or work pants they don't wash every single day. It is not abnormal to keep items you need regularly in your pants.

Define normal. I usually have coins and receipts on my pockets which I empty before I wash them.


Alright, maybe "normal" was the wrong word (though I still stand by it), I suppose saying the majority of people would be more correct, though I still find it weird to leave things in pockets and risk whatever it is falling out of the pockets and getting lost.

Whoa whoa whoa. So this is habit for her? To wash jeans without checking the pockets? It's been pointed out to her before, multiple times? Sounds to me like someone has more than just a drinking problem....as much as I'd love to say keep the money and tell her where to go, just give her the money and don't look back. She doesn't really sound like a friend to me. She doesn't sound like someone mature enough to take responsibility for her actions.

I know it sucks cause you lose out on the headphones, but I'd say that's a small price to pay to be done with her immaturity.


Yeah, seriously, what kind of friend opens their home for you to stay in and loans you money but won't check your pockets before doing laundry? Get rid of that so-called "friend".


Obviously, OP, you mentioned a different, more important reason to not hang out with her which I can respect, but some of these comments are just plain nonsense. Give her her money back and be done with it if that's what you want. The fact of the matter is, from what you've posted here it seems like she's a pretty good friend (not sure what everybody else's beef is with her not checking ****ing pockets before doing laundry, but whatever), but if you have a problem with her drinking and have had a problem personally with drinking in the past, then tell her about it and move on. If she wants to pay you back for the headphones at a later date, great. If not, oh well.

#40 peacemf

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 11:01

dont be petty.
accidents happen.
grow up and write your headphones off as a loss..


seriously.........you're angry over headphones????????????????????
there are more serious problems to worry about!!!!

#41 nekkidtruth

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 11:40

Alright, maybe "normal" was the wrong word (though I still stand by it), I suppose saying the majority of people would be more correct, though I still find it weird to leave things in pockets and risk whatever it is falling out of the pockets and getting lost.


It was the wrong word, but you stand by it? :wacko: I think you'd most likely find the exact opposite of what you believe.

Yeah, seriously, what kind of friend opens their home for you to stay in and loans you money but won't check your pockets before doing laundry? Get rid of that so-called "friend".


First of all, she admittedly does it all the time. Which indicates to me that she couldn't give a rats ass about checking the pockets. Which in return means she doesn't really care about other people's belongings (much less her own). Unless of course, you enjoy having people around you who disrespect your belongings....in which case...sure, keep her around?

Second, as a so called friend (who whether by mistake or not) damaged a piece of your property (the headphones would be the least of my worries. Imagine the time and cost of replacing multiple damaged personal identification), she offered nothing more than a "Well you should empty out your pockets". Rather arrogant wouldn't you say? Just because she is providing a place for her friend to stay, does not give her the right to be a douche. Unless you like having douchy friends who don't respect your property around you?


Obviously, OP, you mentioned a different, more important reason to not hang out with her which I can respect, but some of these comments are just plain nonsense. Give her her money back and be done with it if that's what you want. The fact of the matter is, from what you've posted here it seems like she's a pretty good friend (not sure what everybody else's beef is with her not checking ****ing pockets before doing laundry, but whatever), but if you have a problem with her drinking and have had a problem personally with drinking in the past, then tell her about it and move on. If she wants to pay you back for the headphones at a later date, great. If not, oh well.


I have plenty of friends who would put me up in a heartbeat and I have others who I would do that for without a second thought. However, it does not give her the right to be flippant about damaging property that isn't hers. I can certainly forgive a mistake, especially if one apologizes. But don't be arrogant about it. He left HIS property in HIS jeans (I'm assuming he's a him) and she took them (in an attempt to help out, yes) and put them in the wash. In doing so, she destroyed $100 headphones. Not $5 headphones. At the very least she could have offered to only accept $50 from the money he owes her.

The only reason you make any amount of sense at all is because you believe people always empty their pockets...Lol which is totally silly.

#42 lunamonkey

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:09

If the jeans were on the floor / bed / side / wardrode / dresser, not planning to get washed : her fault.

If the jeans were in the wash basket : your fault.

#43 Nick H.

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:28

Well she said that is was my fault for leaving my wallet and headphones in my jeans which were were near the washer or dry. Her place is a complete mess so if I leave my stuff out of the jean pocket it would take over an hour to find it. She said that her ex-husband would get upset because he would leave his stuff in his pant when she start using wash cloths. But I'm not going to hang out with her again because of her heavy drinking and don't want to start up again.

Normally I would suggest what others have, that you should treat the headphones as a separate issue to the fact that you owe her $100. But after you've pointed that out it seems that you don't care for her, so why should it matter whether you demand she pays you or not? Of course, you realise that you could be opening yourself up for the idea of her saying, "alright, but you owe me some rent money." You may have paid $150 in food and drink, but this has the potential to get very b****y, and if you sat down to do the maths you'd probably find that you end up paying more to her than she would need to pay you.

If I were in your situation, I'd probably leave it alone and just buy some new earphones.

#44 OP ACTIONpack

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 00:38

I know, I'm going to pay her the money. But also my wallet was in my back pocket. With all my information and cards damage aka gift cards, ID, insurance cards and personal pictures that I can't replace. Jeans were sitting on a chair in a bedroom. I went to check the washer because I had to go and didn't know that she was also washing my jeans. I open and saw all my stuff all over in there. I went to tell her about it and told me that it was my fault. Got really p*** off that she told me that I should not leave nothing in my jeans pocket. Not going to leave my wallet out in the open with someone was drunk or a person I only known for about 3 months.

#45 vetneufuse

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 00:52

I'm gona assume you had these in the pocket?

http://www.bose.com/...hones/index.jsp

even if it was those, how do you not notice something like that? you'd think you'd feel it...



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