Alright, maybe "normal" was the wrong word (though I still stand by it), I suppose saying the majority of people would be more correct, though I still find it weird to leave things in pockets and risk whatever it is falling out of the pockets and getting lost.
It was the wrong word, but you stand by it?
I think you'd most likely find the exact opposite of what you believe.
Yeah, seriously, what kind of friend opens their home for you to stay in and loans you money but won't check your pockets before doing laundry? Get rid of that so-called "friend".
First of all, she admittedly does it all the time. Which indicates to me that she couldn't give a rats ass about checking the pockets. Which in return means she doesn't really care about other people's belongings (much less her own). Unless of course, you enjoy having people around you who disrespect your belongings....in which case...sure, keep her around?
Second, as a so called friend (who whether by mistake or not) damaged a piece of your property (the headphones would be the least of my worries. Imagine the time and cost of replacing multiple damaged personal identification), she offered nothing more than a "Well you should empty out your pockets". Rather arrogant wouldn't you say? Just because she is providing a place for her friend to stay, does not give her the right to be a douche. Unless you like having douchy friends who don't respect your property around you?
Obviously, OP, you mentioned a different, more important reason to not hang out with her which I can respect, but some of these comments are just plain nonsense. Give her her money back and be done with it if that's what you want. The fact of the matter is, from what you've posted here it seems like she's a pretty good friend (not sure what everybody else's beef is with her not checking ****ing pockets before doing laundry, but whatever), but if you have a problem with her drinking and have had a problem personally with drinking in the past, then tell her about it and move on. If she wants to pay you back for the headphones at a later date, great. If not, oh well.
I have plenty of friends who would put me up in a heartbeat and I have others who I would do that for without a second thought. However, it does not give her the right to be flippant about damaging property that isn't hers. I can certainly forgive a mistake, especially if one apologizes. But don't be arrogant about it. He left HIS property in HIS jeans (I'm assuming he's a him) and she took them (in an attempt to help out, yes) and put them in the wash. In doing so, she destroyed $100 headphones. Not $5 headphones. At the very
least she could have offered to only accept $50 from the money he owes her.
The only reason you make any amount of sense at all is because you believe people always empty their pockets...Lol which is totally silly.