Is the mall a good place to meet women?

By DaDude
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Twiddle

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I've never been too successful in the online dating game, but my recently divorced friend is some kind of genius with it. He uses OKcupid and Plentyoffish, the dating websites, and any given week will have two to three dates lined up. Of course him being recently divorced means he isn't looking for long term companionship but somehow the guys meets women, and has a one night stand with most. Some he has become good friends with after the fact. He usually messages them with an incredibly original and humorous joke or story, and so far he has a high success rate with it.

Maybe give that a shot.

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DaDude

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No, the mall is not really a good place to meet 'women'. It's a good place to stalk meet underage younger girls.

I really don't know what to tell you though all the girls I ever dated were usually friends, friends of friends or met in school/work. I've never cold approached any girl ever. I don't think it's meant for people of the average or less attractiveness. Besides I like to stalk get to know a girl before I start asking them out so checking out their facebook page, google, asking everyone if they put out knowing them before hand can really help there.

I'm married now though so I don't play this game anymore.

That's exactly what I want. But people always say to me, "Yo man. Just talk to that hot blonde there at the bus stop. Grow a pair." It's as if that's the only way to meet women. I like what you said... get to know girls first. Sounds like the best way to meet the right person, but for some reason, society frowns upon that.

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Grand Master

astropheed Veteran

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That's exactly what I want. But people always say to me, "Yo man. Just talk to that hot blonde there at the bus stop. Grow a pair." It's as if that's the only way to meet women. I like what you said... get to know girls first. Sounds like the best way to meet the right person, but for some reason, society frowns upon that.

I don't think society frowns on it at all, if anything I see society almost supporting this method.

Hitting on some stranger to me is weird and besides what if they're an absolute nutjob, hot or not there is no way I'm interested in freaks. If you ask me, most people who say 'go hit on that girl' would not do the same thing.

Unless you're truly ugly, I mean, reeeeallly bad, you'll get a girl eventually relax. My advice is enjoy being single, you'll probably know exactly what I mean in a few years.

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DaDude

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I don't think society frowns on it at all, if anything I see society almost supporting this method.

Hitting on some stranger to me is weird and besides what if they're an absolute nutjob, hot or not there is no way I'm interested in freaks. If you ask me, most people who say 'go hit on that girl' would not do the same thing.

Unless you're truly ugly, I mean, reeeeallly bad, you'll get a girl eventually relax. My advice is enjoy being single, you'll probably know exactly what I mean in a few years.

The problem is, girls today don't wait for you to get to know them. You know what they say, you snooze, you lose. If you don't make a move NOW, she will go for the next guy that's brave enough to cold approach her and hit on her. That's the way our corrupt world is today.

And I have a shyness problem, especially around the opposite sex. So, that "few years" can turn into a few decades.... or possibly may never happen considering my circumstance.

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astropheed Veteran

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The problem is, girls today don't wait for you to get to know them. You know what they say, you snooze, you lose. If you don't make a move NOW, she will go for the next guy that's brave enough to cold approach her and hit on her. That's the way our corrupt world is today.

And I have a shyness problem, especially around the opposite sex. So, that "few years" can turn into a few decades.... or possibly may never happen considering my circumstance.

Meh, then chloroform she's not the one for you. If you really think you have to do a cold approach than, just do it, you'll get better after a few rejections, it feels like a million knives stabbing your heart doesn't hurt that much.

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Charisma Veteran

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The problem is, girls today don't wait for you to get to know them. You know what they say, you snooze, you lose. If you don't make a move NOW, she will go for the next guy that's brave enough to cold approach her and hit on her. That's the way our corrupt world is today.

And I have a shyness problem, especially around the opposite sex. So, that "few years" can turn into a few decades.... or possibly may never happen considering my circumstance.

Er... seems you've met the wrong kind of woman. Or maybe that's what the younger crowd is like these days? I don't date anyone whom I haven't gotten to know first, and if you're too pushy and trying to move on me too fast I'll tell you to **** off. The idea of trying to be in a relationship with someone--especially physical--with someone I don't even know is so disgusting to me. Not to mention dangerous :p

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Draconian Guppy

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And I have a shyness problem, especially around the opposite sex. So, that "few years" can turn into a few decades.... or possibly may never happen considering my circumstance.

Honestly, all you have to do is "man up", grow a pair, you said you don't drink, if not then have 1 drink/1 beer/breezer and grab some liquid courage or get really stoned, I would chose the first. The ultimate worst case scenario is whoever you approach will say "no, goodbye."

Do you know anyone from your friends you might like? Perhaps a friend of a friend? I'm asking because it's easier to ask for a number and start texting/chatting than anything else.

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Astra.Xtreme

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Er... seems you've met the wrong kind of woman. Or maybe that's what the younger crowd is like these days? I don't date anyone whom I haven't gotten to know first, and if you're too pushy and trying to move on me too fast I'll tell you to **** off. The idea of trying to be in a relationship with someone--especially physical--with someone I don't even know is so disgusting to me. Not to mention dangerous :p

This. I've always heard that females know within the first 30 seconds to a minute whether a guy is worth their time or not.

Tacky pick-up lines, hitting on them, etc probably won't ignite the magic unless they're drunk or a skank, in which case, stay away.

Something as simple as dressing nice, smiling, and being polite will go a long long ways and take a really minimal amount of effort.

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Rising Star

Breach

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Dude. Place ain't critical. But. The best way to find a girl is at social events and getting introduced by friends or friends of friends. If I had just started a random chat with my now wife in the mall in all likelihood she would have brushed me off - we got introduced via a friend. So being on the extrovert side of life and hanging out with a lot of people helps a lot - expands your horizons so to speak.

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Draconian Guppy

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Something as simple as dressing nice, smiling, and being polite will go a long long ways and take a really minimal amount of effort.

Yup, this one time, in the university bus, about 2-3 times, no one was letting this girl get off, everyone always storms off the bus, I usually let everyone infront of me the chance to get up, then we turned out to be classmates and said " I thought you were a nice guy, because of what you did in the bus?". I had no clue what she was talking about because I was simply being courteous, then she explained that I always let her pass when always others stormed off the bus.

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Nick H. Supervisor

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And I have a shyness problem, especially around the opposite sex. So, that "few years" can turn into a few decades.... or possibly may never happen considering my circumstance.

A friend of mine told me the other week that I was going to die alone. His reasoning? "You're too much of a nice guy...and you work in IT."

Kind of hard to argue with that. :laugh:

EDIT: For what it's worth, I wouldn't pick a mall to look for a girl. I would pick a bar, or a bowling alley/pool bar or something. Somewhere to relax and hang out. I generally want to know the girl first so I find something that we have in common (for example, "hey, congratulations on the strike! What's your secret, I seem to be rubbish at this...") and then ask about other interests. The conversation gets going from there.

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DaDude

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Er... seems you've met the wrong kind of woman. Or maybe that's what the younger crowd is like these days?

That's probably it. They other day, I was talking to my neighbor (who is a mother of two kids) and she asked if I was single and when I said yes, she said, "Good. Take your time. You have to be very careful with girls today!"

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Grand Master

The Evil Overlord

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What am I going to do at the park? Play at the swings and monkey bars? I'm in my late 20s!!!

Though you may not think so, but parks are actually a great place to meet people, not just women, if by on the off chance you meet a woman that wants to meet you, a park is great as it's public, and relaxing, at least for the woman.

If that does not work for you, try back alleys or industrial areas at night :p

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Nick H. Supervisor

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Though you may not think so, but parks are actually a great place to meet people, not just women, if by on the off chance you meet a woman that wants to meet you, a park is great as it's public, and relaxing, at least for the woman.

Park + dog = instant conversation starter. (Y)

Now I just need a dog.

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Grand Master

The Evil Overlord

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one time a 40+ year old woman at Costco tried to pick me up. She was pretty desperate too,wouldn't let it go. Could have destroyed that but I'm not into older women,plus she could have been some nut.

NO! You don't know what you've missed, what is she was some sad lonely, desperate psychokiller..... think about it, the sex would be awsome :p

.... Or a millionairess looking for a toyboy to spend her money on...

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Roger H. Veteran

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I'm out of the market now for a while but man if I were to get back in the searching mode i'd be so screwed! I've once or twice saw girls checking me out, even flirted a bit and I was mess. If I was white i'd be red as a tomato. :blush:

I say good luck to the men that have to pick a wife from the women out there too (not saying you women are terrible) but from what I've seen it's pretty bad out there. I like what Charisma was saying about getting to know someone first. Seems women don't do that no more. It goes like this:

- meet, make out sessions in the back room

- come to your place, we hang out, maybe have sex

- you are my boyfriend/girlfriend now

This can all happen in the space of 2 weeks. I'm like WTF! :blink: I have a few friends that have done that and their excuse is that they don't have 6 months to waste on a dude only to find out he's some X or Y and break up after falling hard. Then that takes another 3-6 months to get over then start over again.

To the OP, first thing first... take it easy there tiger. Even if you are 50yrs old, no need to rush things. Your goal is to not find just some woman (unless your goal is to just have sex :shiftyninja:) you want to find a GOOD woman. For one, that takes time to find and that takes time to be sure as well.

Here's my FIRST and ONLY rule when it comes to dating:

"There are plenty of GREAT women out there but 99% of them wont like you (in that way)."

It's just simply the needs of you both just don't match. Some great women like jerks and bad boys which you might not be. Some women like nerds which you might not be. Wrap your head around that and just remember that each time you think about dating.

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The Evil Overlord

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~Snipped~

Well to be honest Int, my first meeting with my now wife of 11 years was under some rather comical circumstances<spellcheck...>

We met on Chathouse and the first time I met her I told her I only wanted to say hello to her in person, I live in Wolves, she lived in Leicester, about an hour and 20 minutes (traffic contingent) away, she agreed, I got in my car, drove to her City Centre, got out of my car, said hello, got back into my car, then drove home..... She was PI**ED at me next time we spoke in the chat room, but I succeeded in getting noticed by her,

(our anniversary of our second date Monday 6 May 2013... Our date was supposed to be the 'Party in the Park' in Leicester 2001 but we never made it to the park... :shifty: )

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The Evil Overlord

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Park + dog = instant conversation starter. (Y)

Now I just need a dog.

No need for the dog, just take a niece or nephew and get him or her some ice cream, we're coming into the summer now, so there will be women a plenty, seeing as you're nice to kids can also get you noticed...

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