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Improving english. 'The Euro English'

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#1 Muhammad Farrukh

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 16:47

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
 
 
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .
 
 
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
 
 
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
 
 
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
 
 
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
 
 
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with
'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
 
 
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
 
 
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
 
 
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.



#2 Hum

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 16:49

Koolness :p



#3 moloko

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Posted 24 June 2013 - 16:57

This does make sense and still readable except for the last part

which why would they do that?
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with
'z' and 'w' with 'v'.


#4 FMH

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Posted 27 June 2013 - 00:34

Koolness :p

 

 

Kolnes*, Hum! :p 

 

 

 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.


#5 thomag

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 15:36

The start of this is exactly what was proposed by George Bernard Shaw around 100 years ago. He went on to replace 'th' with the unused 'c'. The article in the Readers' Digest 50 years ago was titled "Kaos in ce klasrum"

#6 Phouchg

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 20:44

Osum! :laugh:



#7 Tha Bloo Monkee

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 21:02

 

This does make sense and still readable except for the last part

which why would they do that?
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with
'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

 

It's a joke...



#8 HawkMan

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 22:08

The joke only makes sense to english speakers who have no clue about german though :)



#9 Jub Fequois

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 22:19

I actually agree with the first part of it. :D

 

And I still find it funny even if I speak German. :)