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Posted

A pregnant lady got on a bus.
 
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. 
 
She immediately moved to another seat.
 
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. 
 
The man seemed more amused. 
 
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
 
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. 
 
The case came up in court. 
 
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
 
what he had to say for himself.
 
The man replied,
 
'Well your Honor, it was like this:
 
when the lady got on the bus,
 
I couldn't help but notice her condition. 
 
She sat down under a sign that said,
 
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. 
 
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
 
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
 
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
 
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
 
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
 
and sat under a sign that said,
 
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
 
 
... I just lost it.' 
 
 
'CASE DISMISSED!!'
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Posted

Oh dear!

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Posted

Make the 20 year old kid 12 and it makes more sense :)

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Posted

Make the 20 year old kid 12 and it makes more sense :)

Because somehow the person being younger would make the story have more sense?  The part of being arrested at all just for grinning, smiling, or laughing at someone makes no sense.  Age is irrelevant. 

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Posted

Because somehow the person being younger would make the story have more sense?  The part of being arrested at all just for grinning, smiling, or laughing at someone makes no sense.  Age is irrelevant. 

 

As to the maturity level of the person that would find such things amusing, it is absolutely relevant.

 

As for being arrested for grinning, smiling, or laughing, that absolutely makes sense and happens all of the time...

 

It's a joke man, no need to get so analytical (or anal) :)

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Posted

I thought it was funny

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Posted

As to the maturity level of the person that would find such things amusing, it is absolutely relevant.

 

As for being arrested for grinning, smiling, or laughing, that absolutely makes sense and happens all of the time...

 

It's a joke man, no need to get so analytical (or anal) :)

 

You got anal about the guys age, as if age is an indication of maturity. 

 

Me and my colleagues found this road in the Falklands and couldn't resist  posing by it. Ages ranging from 22 to 38. (4 of us posed for photos) Frakking blinked for my turn...  :cry:

 

[attachment=336852:IMG_0995.jpg]

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Posted

You got anal about the guys age, as if age is an indication of maturity. 

 

Me and my colleagues found this road in the Falklands and couldn't resist  posing by it. Ages ranging from 22 to 38. (4 of us posed for photos) Frakking blinked for my turn...  :cry:

 

attachicon.gifIMG_0995.jpg

 

 

Was my comment really all that anal? I suppose you're being anal about me being anal :)

 

I fully support how you've held yourself up as an example of how age doesn't equate to maturity.

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Posted

Was my comment really all that anal? I suppose you're being anal about me being anal :)

 

I fully support how you've held yourself up as an example of how age doesn't equate to maturity.

 

For me maturity is how you handle yourself in serious scenarios when the situation demands maturity. Not the grumpy people who seem bent on stopping people laughing at jokes, telling them to "grow up" etc. I often get called very mature for my age, have done since I was about 16, still get told it quite often now.

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Posted

For me maturity is how you handle yourself in serious scenarios when the situation demands maturity. Not the grumpy people who seem bent on stopping people laughing at jokes, telling them to "grow up" etc. I often get called very mature for my age, have done since I was about 16, still get told it quite often now.

 

Don't get all anal about it... :)

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Posted

Don't get all anal about it... :)

 

I'm going to get more anal. Bite the pillow.

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Posted

I'm going to get more anal. Bite the pillow.

 

That's so witty how you took a reference to personality and demeanor and turned it into a crude literal reference to anatomy. Very mature as well  :laugh:

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Posted

I'm immature, my wife tells me this  all the time, my kids love it :p

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Posted

Life's too short not to laugh :D

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Posted

img_3727.jpg

 

Not up or down ... just horizontal.

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Posted

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there . . .", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying,

 

"Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government of the United States of America with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this fricking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . On any land! No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear? . . . Do you understand?"

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's prize Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.











"Your badge! Show him your fricking BADGE . . . !"

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Posted

^^ :laugh:

 

That was freakin awesome

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Posted

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there . . .", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying,

 

"Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government of the United States of America with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this fricking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . On any land! No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear? . . . Do you understand?"

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's prize Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.











"Your badge! Show him your fricking BADGE . . . !"

 

 

Now that was funnier.

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