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something to get you to the weekend! :)

joke

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#1 mduren2445

mduren2445

    Neowinian

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 02:24

Must read.... I borrowed this from a friends post..
 
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
 
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. 
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
 
( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
 
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
 
(Keep shuddering!!)
 
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
 
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
 
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
 
Brunette, by the way!!
 
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'
 
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!! 
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...



#2 Xerino

Xerino

    The Mouth

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 04:36

/facepalm

#3 thomastmc

thomastmc

    Unofficial Attorney of Neowin

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 05:10

I was standing in line at the customer service counter at Walmart recently and the person in front of me was sending money to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

 

After about 5 minutes of the employee shaking her head and giving the computer defiant looks a manager came over to help.

 

He gave the employee a surprised look, and said "It's not an out of country transfer. Don't you know that New Mexico is in the United States?".

 

She said, "I don't need to know geographics. Mexico is Mexico, who cares how old it is".

 

True story.

 

 

---------

 

 

Also, the other day a person on this forum was pretending to be knowledgeable about a certain court case and said that a certain defendant couldn't have been proven to be lying in court because they were never put on the witness stand.

 

I'm pretty sure they were getting lying and a charge of perjury confused. You know, complicated legal stuff. They shall remain nameless.

 

Also a true story :)



#4 NightmarE D

NightmarE D

    Proud father

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  • Location: Covington, KY

Posted 18 July 2013 - 06:06

Fiance called Radio Shack:

 

Fiance: Do you have anymore HTC EVO V 4g's?

 

Radio Shack: I'm sorry, all I see is the HTC EVO 5 4g

 

Guy read V as the Roman Numeral. my fiance just said "OK thanks." Hung up the phone and just shook her head then told me what happened. We go down and I grabbed the phone and asked the two guy's:

 

Me: Are you the only two that have been here today?

 

Both: Yes

 

Me: *holding up the phone* My fiance just called asking if you had these.

 

Guy 1: *Nods with a smaile* That was me.

 

Me: *holding it close to his face* You were asked if you had HTC EVO V 4g's in and you said no, but you had the HTC EVO 5 4g.

 

Guy 1: *Confused look on his face* Yeah?

 

Guy 2; *looking at Guy 1* Are you f***ing kidding me? *Cracks up*

 

Me: *Staring at Guy 1* Take a close look at the name of the phone and I hope to God you realize how funny and a little sad this is.

 

Guy 1 just walks away to the backroom after about 30 seconds of staring at the box. Comes out in regular clothes and all he has to say is "I need a drink". Dude still works there and if I walk by and see him through the window I just shake my head at him. He never actually admitted that he realized his mistake, but got to assume he did and won't own it lol

 

Another one. I used to work at a store called "Super 99 Center" years and years ago. Everything 99 cents. Nothing more. Nothing less. Every single freaking day there's was always the one person: "How much is this?". Felt Like Dante from "Clerks". Those people WILL drive you nuts. Signs all over the place and they still asked. The amount of people who pay ZERO attention to their surroundings amazes me.