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The Difference between men and pedophiles

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#1 Haggis

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:25

was not sure where to put this............

 

 

This came up at work after the 

 

Are all men pedophiles thread

 

Now the discussion we are having is...

 

some guys like it if there girlfriend/wife/plaything dresses up as a schoolgirl etc

 

So is there a little perversion in these guys that make then turned on seeing someone dressed up like this?

 

I am not saying its right or wrong but would be interested in the views here

 

Please keep it on track and no attacking others or i will have the thread closed

 

Thanks




#2 Innuendo

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:38

I'm not singling you out when I say this, Haggis. I'm speaking generally here addressing what is in your post. I hate when these discussions come up that it's always the men who are viewed as the ones with perverted tastes. No one ever discusses the women who enjoy doing the dress-up as a schoolgirl or whatever.

 

Women are not blank templates for men to imprint their sexual fantasies on. Women are distinct individuals who have their own likes, dislikes, and fantasies as well. There are plenty of women who like to dress up as the schoolgirl or have their man dress up as a priest or whatever it is that turns them on.

 

My viewpoint is that whatever two consenting adults do is their own business as long as they don't break any laws & based on my experiences, women come up with the rules for new games in the bedroom just as often as men do.



#3 spenser.d

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:41

Agree with above, and to add to that, the short answer is no. Enjoying your SO dressed up lime that and being a pedophile are two extremely different things and to think they aren't is to be very ignorant about what pedophilia really is.

#4 max22

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:43

The documentary goes into this a little. Don't worry you get to see male and female pedophiles. Not just one sex.

 

The female pedophile is not just a nobody either she is a chef!



#5 Draconian Guppy

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:43

 

Women are not blank templates for men to imprint their sexual fantasies on. Women are distinct individuals who have their own likes, dislikes, and fantasies as well. There are plenty of women who like to dress up as the schoolgirl or have their man dress up as a priest or whatever it is that turns them on.

 

Awesome response.



#6 max22

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:44

I always wondered how many female pedophiles there are ? Like the percent.



#7 theyarecomingforyou

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:46

I'm not singling you out when I say this, Haggis. I'm speaking generally here addressing what is in your post. I hate when these discussions come up that it's always the men who are viewed as the ones with perverted tastes. No one ever discusses the women who enjoy doing the dress-up as a schoolgirl or whatever.

 

Women are not blank templates for men to imprint their sexual fantasies on. Women are distinct individuals who have their own likes, dislikes, and fantasies as well. There are plenty of women who like to dress up as the schoolgirl or have their man dress up as a priest or whatever it is that turns them on.

 

My viewpoint is that whatever two consenting adults do is their own business as long as they don't break any laws & based on my experiences, women come up with the rules for new games in the bedroom just as often as men do.

Very well said. :yes:



#8 OP Haggis

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 14:52

I'm not singling you out when I say this, Haggis. I'm speaking generally here addressing what is in your post. I hate when these discussions come up that it's always the men who are viewed as the ones with perverted tastes. No one ever discusses the women who enjoy doing the dress-up as a schoolgirl or whatever.

 

Women are not blank templates for men to imprint their sexual fantasies on. Women are distinct individuals who have their own likes, dislikes, and fantasies as well. There are plenty of women who like to dress up as the schoolgirl or have their man dress up as a priest or whatever it is that turns them on.

 

My viewpoint is that whatever two consenting adults do is their own business as long as they don't break any laws & based on my experiences, women come up with the rules for new games in the bedroom just as often as men do.

 

 

No offence taken in the slightest

 

as i say i raised it to find out the views :)

 

I love it when my wife dresses up never tried schoolgirl though lol

 

and as said not my viewpoint was just carrying on the discussion from work onto here lol

 

Appreciate the civil reply :)

 

 

 

Lets add into the discussion then that if a woman wants to dress up in a schoolgirl outfit is this because of a particular reason that they find the whole Schoolgirl /Teacher type thing to be a turn on?

 

 

I maybe should have worded the first post better lol



#9 Innuendo

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 16:31

Lets add into the discussion then that if a woman wants to dress up in a schoolgirl outfit is this because of a particular reason that they find the whole Schoolgirl /Teacher type thing to be a turn on?

 

Now that's a difficult question to answer. Most people have fantasies and people don't always have the answer to the reasons why or where such a desire even comes from. This goes for both men and women. Sometimes it's just because it feels good. Other times it may be because it was something they read in a book or saw in a TV show or movie.

 

There are very good reasons why there are very advanced courses taught on the subject of human sexuality in universities around the world. The human psyche is a very complex thing.

 

To address your specific example of a woman finding that dressing up in a schoolgirl outfit turns her on, it could be any number of things. Maybe she saw a movie with a scene in it and she thought it would be fun to try. Maybe her best friend called her last week and said, "OMG! You have just GOT to try this!!!". It could also go back to something in her past when she was younger. I don't think any of us have the requisite psychiatric degrees to delve into that, though.

 

At the end of the day, all you can hope for is to find a partner who either enjoys the same fantasies as you do or at least accommodates them for you because they love you & you provide the same for them.

 

This is a very interesting topic you have brought up, Haggis, but I don't know how far we are going to be able to go because I don't think there are any definitive answers.  There are probably just as many different reasons a person enjoys a particular kink or fetish as there are kinks and fetishes to be enjoyed. :)   Even if some brave lady were to pop in her and express her views on why dressing up in a schoolgirl outfit really does it for her, that'd be just one viewpoint. The lady next to her who enjoys the exact same things may have an entirely different reasoning.

 

And just to drive spenser.d's point home, fantasies are different than pedophilia.

 

(Let's get this thread really fired up now....read on!)  :)

 

Oh! Hey! Maybe we should discuss this from the other side of the fence? Maybe we should discuss young 14-17 year old girls who do their darnedest to dress and act like they are in their 20s and actively pursue older men (say, 28-40 year old males)? Should men start doing a background check on every potential date from now on for fear of falling into a trap like this? If a man falls into such a situation and is branded a pedophile, what punishment should the girl receive if she was actively pursuing and deceiving the man?
 



#10 Charisma

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 16:38

I was trying to find the article, and sadly cannot, but I read an excellent blog post once that offered a plausible explanation for this.

 

Maybe not so much now, but in the past, a lot of people grew up in Catholic schools or others that required a uniform--specifically, the sort of uniform that involved girls wearing skirts like that. For a young man growing up around this, as he reaches puberty and starts looking at girls differently, this is what he is surrounded with and his first sexual thoughts/fantasies may be associated with that uniform. So I can see how that could carry over even into adulthood. But finding that sort of attire attractive is a long, long way from actually being attracted to children as an adult. 13 year old boys like looking at 13 year old girls in that outfit. This is normal and acceptable. 25 year old men like looking at 25 year old women in that outfit. I think at least in the context of this particular dressing-up fetish, it's more about the outfit itself and associated memories and feelings, not the age of the person wearing it.

 

Sounds reasonable anyway, yeah?



#11 Javik

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 17:06

No. The fact that they're seeking to fulfil those fantasies with a consenting adult means they are not paedophiles. What Charisma said is pretty much spot on, we're just reminded of the things that aroused us at that time in our lives and seek to find ways to bring those fantasies back. It's a totally different sexual drive to being attracted to kids.



#12 Aheer.R.S.

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 17:11

Well, not sure about that, but it's an old fantasy that has been around for about as long as secondary schools I think, and just to bring in a little balance, women can be just as perverted, my wife enjoys exhibitionism, amongst other things she likes to do in public, and enjoys a role play that would send me to jail if it were for real. 



#13 Growled

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 18:39

I don't see much of anything wrong with nearly anything between two consenting adults. That's way different than messing with a child.



#14 COKid

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 18:53

To all pedophiles: Move to Yemen. Apparently you can marry 8 year-olds there.

 

http://worldnews.nbc...ding-night?lite

 

What a sick world we live in.



#15 Innuendo

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 19:27

Well, not sure about that, but it's an old fantasy that has been around for about as long as secondary schools I think, and just to bring in a little balance, women can be just as perverted, my wife enjoys exhibitionism, amongst other things she likes to do in public, and enjoys a role play that would send me to jail if it were for real. 

 

Sooooo....what I'm reading between the lines here is.....Party at Dushmany's house? :)