So a friend of mine gave me a Kensington SlimBlade Media Mouse, it's a really nice looking mouse and it has laser optics, which none of my current mice do, and it is apparently freaking expensive for a mouse. But it is also crap - he gave it to me because the left mouse button doesn't work well, you have to press really hard for it to work, and there is no middle mouse button. So no middle clicking on links to open them in a new tab, or middle clicking on tabs to close them. The laser optical sensor is also stupidly way off to the side. It is not in the center of either axis on the bottom of the mouse, it is about 1cm from the edge of the right mouse button on the bottom. That means it is useless on curved surfaces like a couch armrest.
There is, however, some cool features that might be salvageable. One is a 2d scroll ball, in the form of an optical trackball. But it only functions as a scroll wheel; that is to say scrolling around websites and documents and such. Does anyone know of a software method that can take scroll wheel movements and turn them into cursor movements? That way I could have a tiny little free trackball mouse.
Another cool feature is a media controller (play/pause/skip/volume), but it is stupidly placed on the bottom. If I can't turn the scroll ball into a cursor trackball, I might just rip everything non-essential out of this mouse and make myself a wireless media remote.