joke Signs

[jnelsoninjax]

1. In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

2. In a Kentucky appliance store window: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work.

3. In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.

4. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container"

5. In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager"

6. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law" -Sisters of Mercy

7. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot"

8. In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday"

9. In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed"

10. In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy"

11. In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

12. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church"

13. On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship"

14. At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel"

15. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs"

16. In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan"

17. In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks"

18. In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"

19. On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"

20. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques"

21. In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

22. On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak"

23. In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please extinguish the perpetual light"

24. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves"

25. On a roller coaster: "Watch your head"

26. On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission"

27. On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable"

28. Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car"