Posted 22 September 2004 - 23:09
* I am currently out at a job interview and will reply
to you if I fail to get the position.
* I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
* You are receiving this automatic notification
because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are
you wouldn't have received anything at all.
* Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors
having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to
* I will be unable to delete all the unread,
worthless emails you send me
until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was
* Thank you for your email. Your credit card has
been charged $5.99 for the
first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word
in your message
* The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your
computer and try sending again.' The beauty of it is that when I
return, I can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.
* Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system.
* You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect
to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
* Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that
you got this message.
* I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
* Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.
* Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new
Don't bother to leave me any messages.
* I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:
* I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks
for medical reasons. When I return, please refer
to me as 'Rose' instead of 'Steve'.