Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Freakz

[Joke] I Wish That All The Ladies......

71 posts in this topic

I wish all the Mods

on Neowin were Wicked!

Cus that would mean that

threads like this would be stickied!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies,

were bricks in a pile,

and i was a mason,

I'd lay em with my style!

lol... nice one. but i gotta say that dump truck one was the best... lol fill dem up with my load. XD :D :D :laugh:

okay after reading all this funny one,

I wish all the hotties

were naked on the streets

cuz I can play with their bells

and dig for sunflower seeds

Edited by hotwire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies,

were bricks in a pile,

and i was a mason,

I'd lay em with my style!

Hahah, that is a pretty good one. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the Ladies

were doors in a house

and i was a cranky boy

ill slam 'em all i like

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

'Tis a rare thread that gets my vote...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the Ladies

would come and talk to me

I'd introduce 'em to my brother

He'd give 'em a disease

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i like it :) very funny and with the hidden meaning :)))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies

were cracks in the pitch

and i was tony grieg

id stick my key in the bitch

i wish that all the ladies

were naked on my bed

if i was a sci student

i'd masturbate instead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thread *arise from the dead*

I have been singing these things for years and thought i would look for more lyrics and found this thread. :)

I have collated all the good entries and added the ones I know down the bottom

I wish that all the ladies,

Were waves in the ocean,

and i was a surfer,

I'd ride 'em with my motion!

I wish that all the ladies,

Were bells in the tower,

and i was a bell boy,

I'd dong 'em every hour!

I wish that all the ladies,

We're buns on the shelf,

and I was a baker,

I'd cream em all my self!

I wish that all the laides,

We're holes in the road,

and I was a dump truck,

I'd fill em with my load!

I wish that all the ladies,

were bricks in a pile,

and i was a mason,

I'd lay em with my style!

i wish that all the ladies,

were statues of venus,

and i was a sculptor,

id break em with my penis

i wish that all the ladies,

were sheep in the grass

and i was a kiwi

i'd f*ck 'em in the a**

I wish all the ladies,

were cabbage in patch,

and I was a farmer,

I'd pick'em by the snatch..

I wish that all the ladies,

Were grain in a bin,

And I was an auger,

I'd stick it in and spin.

I wish that all the ladies,

Were birds in the sky,

And I was a hunter,

I'd shoot 'em in the eye.

I wish that all the ladies

Were like tables in bed

I'd make 'em suck my d***

and rest my beer on their head.

I wish that all the ladies

Were sail boats in a race

And I was the headwind

I'd blow in their face

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were bricks in the wall (echo)

and if i was a bricklayer (echo)

i would lay them all (echo)

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were monkeys in a tree (echo)

and if i was a banana (echo)

they'd be sucking on me (echo)

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were fish in a pool (echo)

and if I was a fisherman (echo)

I?d catch ?em with my tool (echo)

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were brown paper bags (echo)

and I was a butcher (echo)

I?d fill ?em with my snags (echo)

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were jockeys in a race (echo)

and I was a saddle (echo)

they?d sit upon on my face (echo)

I wish that all the ladies

Were statues of Venus

They wouldn't have arms

To push away my penis

I wish that all the Ladies

Were wheels on a car

and i was the axle

i'd spin 'em on me bar

I wish that all the ladies

were cracks in the pitch

and i was tony grieg

id stick my key in the bitch

The extras we used to sing are

I wish that all the ladies

were doors in a tower

and I was a hunchback

I'd bang 'em every hour

I wish that all the ladies

were buns in an oven

and I was a baker

I'd give 'em all my lovin'

I wish that all the ladies

were fish under a pier

and I was a native

I'd stab 'em with me spear

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish all the ladies

were mods on this forum

cause I'd make it a point

to see that I bore em.

I wish all the ladies

were in my room

Cause every night

I'd just have to do em

I wish all the ladies

really wanted me

to call them on the phone

or somehthing like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A thread like this needs more action!

I wish all the girls

Were pool balls round and true

And I was a pool shark

I'd hit em with my cue.

I wish all the girls

Were hot dogs on the grill

And I was a camper

I'd eat my fill.

I wish all the girls

Were crappy Bud Light.

And I was myself

I'd open 'em up all night.

I wish all the girls

Were _____'s sister

And I was myself

I bend her over and fist her.

I wish all the girls

Had beautiful grooves

And I was Captain Falcon

I'd show 'em all my moves.

I'll probably post more when I think of 'em.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies

Would stop their bitchin

And suck my dick

Then get back into the kitchen.

I wish that all the ladies

Were a vertical race

I'd start at their feet

And finish on their face

I wish that all the ladies

Were ____(Name)'s mother

So I could laugh at him

As I raised his little brother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I wish all the ladies,

Were overclocked sticks of RAM,

And I was a power user,

I'd apply my own Arctic Silver from my ham.

Absolute GOLD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absolute GOLD

i wish that all the ladys

where sheep in the yard

and i was a kiwi

id **** em up the arse

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So....

I wish that all the men

were in rear view mirrors,

cause when I looked upon em...

they'd be bigger then they appeared.

I wish that all the men

were horses in the pasture

and I was te salt lick

I'd tell em lick it faster

I wish that all the men

were light swiftches on the wall

and even in the day time

I'd be turning on em all

I wish that all the men

were bulls behind the gate

And I was the cowgirl

I'd ride em all for 8

I wish that all the men

were cookies on a plate

and I was santa

I'd give em all a taste

I wish that all the men

were john deer tractors

and I was the farmer

I'd have some well plowed pastures

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm surprised no one's mentioned Canal Street :p

Walking down canal street

Knock on every door

Goddamn son of a bitch

I couldn't find a ######

I finally found a ######

She was rather thin

Goddamn son of a bitch

I couldn't get it in

I finally got it in

Worked it all about

Goddamn son of a bitch

I couldn't get it out

I finally got it out

It was wet and sore

The moral of this story is

To never **** a ######

#Edit ah just realised it has to be an I wish that... ah well :p

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just thought of these...

I wish all the ladies

Were a all a bit blonder

So it's easier get em on there back

And slip em me anaconda

I wish all the ladies

Would stop carrying mace

Be easier to stop a woman in the street

And ###### on there face

I wish all the ladies

Could stop hurtin'

When after sex

I ###### on there curtain

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies

were winds on a sea

cause if I were a sailboat

they'd all be blowing me

I wish that all the ladies

were bricks in a pile

cause if I was a mason

I'd lay them all the while

I wish that all the ladies

were tables made of spruce

cause if i were the carpenter

i'd polish them with my juice

i wish that all the ladies

were pies on a shelf

cause if I were the baker

i'd eat em all myself

I wish that all the ladies

were statues of Venus

cause if I were David

I'd use my petrified penis

I wish that all the ladies

turkies in the oven

cause if I were the baker

I'd fill em with my stuffin'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish that all the ladies

Were soft and furry

Just like a remixedcat

Would hump em n a hurry

I wish that all the ladies

Knew how to web design

would bend em over

An do em from behind

I wish that all the ladies

worked like amped wireless

spread them on the bed

Provide them HARDCORE COVERAGE!!!

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont suppose you are studying @ Griffith Uni? We did the same some 10 years back....

So heres the deal, at my university on our thursday nights we have a massive night out where buses from the uni take us out to all the pubs and night clubs when were smashed. Think of it as a mini pub crawl i guess..

On every bus theres always some sort of chant going, so i thought it would be cool to post your favourite and your funniest, feel free to make some up too...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.