[Joke] I Wish That All The Ladies......


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my name is jack

and im a necrophiliac

i get frustrated

when they get cremated

meh, this thread is harmless.. if i get another warning ill be very upset

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The dumptruck one made my gf laugh.

They all made me laugh.

Cept the lame attempts of everyone else.

585689140[/snapback]

LOL your last line made me lol

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  • 5 months later...

I wish all the ladies,

were trees in the forest,

and i was a lumber jack,

I'd split the clitorius...

I wish all the ladies,

were cabbage in patch,

and I was a farmer,

I'd pick'em by the snatch...

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  • 2 months later...

hey i don't know if you guys have heard these two before... and yes, i am from the praries :blush:

I wish that all the ladies,

Were grain in a bin,

And I was an auger,

I'd stick it in and spin.

I wish that all the ladies,

Were birds in the sky,

And I was a hunter,

I'd shoot 'em in the eye.

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Here's one that's no worse than the other ones that have been said:

I wish that all the ladies

Were like tables in bed

I'd make 'em suck my d***

and rest my beer on their head.

The rest I know come from my school's rowdy bunch of engineers - and so I will refrain. :)

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Lol nice

You heard the one about yogi bear?

Note that the lyrics in bold are sung by the everyone

YOGI BEAR

I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi,

I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi's got a little friend, Boo Boo, Boo Boo,

Yogi's got a little friend, Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.

Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear, Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.

Yogi's got a little friend, Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.

And Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger

Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger Smith...etc.

Yogi's chopped up Ranger Smith, Dismem, Dismem.

Yogi's chopped up Ranger Smith, Dismem, Dismem-Bear....etc.

Yogi has a girl friend, Susie, Susie

Yogi has a girl friend, Susie, Susie Bear...etc.

Susie's into lingerie, Teddy, Teddy

Susie's into lingerie, Teddy, Teddy Bear....etc.

Susie's got a hairy minge, Grisly, Grisly

Susie's got a hairy minge, Grisly, Grisly Bear....etc.

Susie likes it on the fridge, Polar, Polar,

Susie likes it on the fridge, Polar, Polar Bear...etc.

Susie likes it long and green, Cucum, Cucum

Susie likes it long and green, Cucum, Cucum-Bear...etc.

Susie does it upside down, Koala, Koala,

Susie does it upside down, Koala, Koala-Bear...etc.

Yogi's got a twelve inch nob, Hard to, Hard to,

Yogi's got a twelve inch nob, Hard to, Hard to Bear...etc.

Yogi's got a cheesy nob, ######-On, ######-On

Yogi's got a cheesy nob, ######-On, Camembert....etc.

But Yogi always wears durrex, Care-Bear, Care-Bear

Yogi always wears durrex, Care-Care, Care Bear....etc.

The durrex had a hole in it, Unlucky, Unlucky.

The durrex had a hole in it, Unlucky, Lucky Bear...etc.

Now I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi,

I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

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  • 3 months later...

you geeks need to get out more and date real women. that's for sure. :rofl:

this from some one with 25000 posts

I wish that all the ladies

Were sail boats in a race

And I was the headwind

I'd blow in their face

yet another topic revived by an idiot wth 1 post and he stole my nickname :angry:

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  • 6 months later...

This is an age old drinking song me and the boys sing most saturday nights. these are all the versus i can remember.

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were holes in the road (echo)

and if i was a dump truck (echo)

Id fill them with my load (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were buns on the shelf (echo)

and if i was a baker (echo)

id cream them all myself (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were waves in the ocean (echo)

and if i was a surfer (echo)

id ride them with my motion (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were bricks in the wall (echo)

and if i was a bricklayer (echo)

i would lay them all (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were monkeys in a tree (echo)

and if i was a banana (echo)

they'd be sucking on me (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were bells in the tower (echo)

and if i was a bell boy (echo)

i'd dong them every hour (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were sheep in the grass (echo)

and if i was an aussie (echo)

id f*** them up the arse (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were deer in the firest (echo)

and if i was some long grass (echo)

i'd tickle their cl***ris (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were fish in a pool (echo)

and if I was a fisherman (echo)

I?d catch ?em with my tool (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were brown paper bags (echo)

and I was a butcher (echo)

I?d fill ?em with my snags (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were wind out at sea (echo)

and I was a sail boat (echo)

then they?d all blow me! (echo)

mm bop ba lady (echo) x2

I wish that all the ladies (echo)

were jockeys in a race (echo)

and I was a saddle (echo)

they?d sit upon on my face (echo)

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I wish all the ladies

Had a PDA

I'd send em naked pictures

Every single day

I wish all the ladies

Would come and suck my dick

But I'm about to get engaged

So I'm stuck with just one chick

I wish all the ladies

Weren't reading my screen

Cos then I wouldn't get fired

I'll have to keep this clean

I wish all the ladies

Didn't block my messenger

Cos then I could just chat

About making a salty mess in her

I wish all the ladies

Didn't have restraining orders

I was just gonna show my kittens

To their sweet young daughters

I wish all the ladies

Pictured me in the nude

Cos then my sexy dancing

Would seem that bit more crude

I wish all the ladies

Waxed their hairy minge

Cos then I'd just go on

A ###### easting binge

I wish all the ladies

Were neowin S.Mods

Cos then Neobond would be

In the lap of the Gods

I wish all the ladies

Would sing along with me

And stroke my alter ego

And I'd do some sex-wee!

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