Posted 15 November 2006 - 08:19
I think calling someone to talk to them soley because they're dying if you haven't talked to him in forever is really lame. And that's coming from someone who's been on the hospital bed with cancer. It's awkward for that person, probably even more so then for you. Imagine, you've got nothing in common except that you've got cancer. Great. Thanks for keeping in touch. Honestly, I'd rather just hear about what's going on in their life through a letter or a phone call, something that can be easily ended if it gets to awkward for me.
Now I'm not trying to say that you're a bad person, I know you're trying to be nice. I realized that while I was greeting people in the bed (most I can't remember anymore because of the morphine), so I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. It's just that realizing people are only showing up because you're going through this sucks. It doesn't help, really. Sure, I wanted to hear from people, but I really just wanted to be near those close to me. You know why? I didn't want everyone seeing me that weak. I wanted to talk to people, but didn't want people around me. I remember feeling pretty bad after I passed out on a group of people who had come to see me. It's not like I meant to, it's just that we were talking, and then the morphine kicked in and I don't remember what happened. I felt like I was a burdon to people in that state.
You can say that I shouldn't have felt that way, like so many have. But unless you've been there, you can't relate.
What I suggest is to call him with a topic in mind. Football, drinking, girls, whatever. Just talk about something, doesn't matter what...other then cancer.