There have been multiple sightings of a big cat, presumed to be a cougar, prowling around Microsoft's Redmond campus. Whilst the reports are yet to be confirmed, there were two spottings in as many days by Microsoft employees at the end of last week, in the area between Buildings 30 to 35.The first sighting was reported to Redmond Police by Microsoft security at 10:15 on Thursday morning, according to The Seattle Times. However, at 13:38 security then also reported that a coyote has been seen by an officer near Building 30, so the police assumed it was the same animal that had been incorrectly recognised by the first witness. A second sighting on Friday brought the issue back to light.
Whilst it may not be the only big cat on their mind at the moment with the recent release of Apple's Mac OS X Snow Leopard update, Microsoft has sent a memo to employees giving them advice on what to do if they encounter the phantom cougar. TechFlash got hold of the message:
For the second day, Global Security has received an unconfirmed report of a possible cougar sighting, this time near building 32.
Microsoft Security will conduct frequent patrols of all wooded areas of the campus, and will work with the State Department of Fish & Wildlife and other experts to assess the situation and provide further updates, as appropriate. In the meantime, we ask that all employees exercise appropriate caution, particularly in remote or wooded areas of campus.
If you meet a cougar:
- Never approach a cougar. Although cougars will normally avoid a confrontation, all cougars are unpredictable. Cougars feeding on a kill may be dangerous.
- Always give a cougar an avenue of escape.
- Stay calm. Talk to the cougar in a confident voice.
- Pick all children up off the ground immediately. Children frighten easily and their rapid movements may provoke an attack.
- Do not run. Try to back away from the cougar slowly. Sudden movement or flight may trigger an instinctive attack. Do not turn your back on the cougar. Face the cougar and remain upright.
- Do all you can to enlarge your image. Don't crouch down or try to hide. Pick up sticks or branches and wave them about.
So if you're on the Redmond campus over the next few days, or until the cougar is caught, don't forget to "face the cougar" and talk to it "in a confident voice" - show it who's boss!
















maybe its the name of Mac OS's next OS?
Cougar is actually one of few still unused big cat names for them.
Yeah. I hope they catch it. I've never been to Microsoft's campus, so I don't know how much wooded area they have. Hopefully it won't cause any problems... Though with it being a cougar OR a coyote, I'm not sure what to make of that. The two animals look very different...
Last edited by kInG aLeXo on 20 Sep 2009 - 21:25
Gotta love it!
Shouldn't that have a comma? A full stop there looks like they want you to wave sticks at it.
Sound advice if you ask me
Sound advice if you ask me
I would agree.
"Do all you can to enlarge your image. Don't crouch down or try to hide. Pick up sticks or branches and wave them about."
I have a feeling you should reread that line. Yes, that is exactly what it's telling you.
will conduct frequent patrols of all wooded areas of the campus"
Is it just me or did I think of the Microsoft Security as in the Microsoft Security programmers? lol
will conduct frequent patrols of all wooded areas of the campus"
Is it just me or did I think of the Microsoft Security as in the Microsoft Security programmers? lol
Yeah, I got a mental image of Bill gates in a hunting outfit.
will conduct frequent patrols of all wooded areas of the campus"
Is it just me or did I think of the Microsoft Security as in the Microsoft Security programmers? lol
Yeah, I got a mental image of Bill gates in a hunting outfit.
Or Steve Ballmer
Be vewy vewy quiet
Yeah, if you see a work colleague being eaten, don't go near it.
It usually takes a few days for forum discussion to prompt a news article on here I've noticed...
Well, yes, that's why Neowin has news submission.
"Do all you can to enlarge your image. Don't crouch down or try to hide. Pick up sticks or branches and wave them about."
Crouching negates any effect branch waving may have.
Uh huh.
Don't say "please don't eat me".
Say it WITH FEELING. "You will NOT eat me."
Uh huh.
Don't say "please don't eat me".
Say it WITH FEELING. "You will NOT eat me."
just about to say the same thing ... what idiot would talk to the animal like is his pal or something ...
hey cougar want a bone? no .... ok then ... i will be leaving now
Uh huh.
Don't say "please don't eat me".
Say it WITH FEELING. "You will NOT eat me."
"You will NOT eat me."
"You will return to the forest and become a vegetarian."
Just remember to do the jedi hand movement.
Uh huh.
Don't say "please don't eat me".
Say it WITH FEELING. "You will NOT eat me."
YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!!! *slams down wizards staff*
Yeah, slowly walk to the nearest McDonalds and ask for everything supersize !
As for the rest:
•Never approach a woman during her period. Although women will normally avoid a confrontation, all women during their period are unpredictable. Women feeding on a gherkin may be dangerous.
•Always give a woman an avenue of escape; credit card, jewels, a new wardrobe collection, etc.
•Stay calm. Talk to the woman in a confident voice.
•Do not run. Try to back away from the woman slowly. Sudden affair or mistress may trigger an instinctive attack. Do not turn your back on the woman. Face the woman and remain upright.
Cheers
As for the rest:
?Never approach a woman during her period. Although women will normally avoid a confrontation, all women during their period are unpredictable. Women feeding on a gherkin may be dangerous.
?Always give a woman an avenue of escape; credit card, jewels, a new wardrobe collection, etc.
?Stay calm. Talk to the woman in a confident voice.
?Do not run. Try to back away from the woman slowly. Sudden affair or mistress may trigger an instinctive attack. Do not turn your back on the woman. Face the woman and remain upright.
Cheers
That is ****ing sexist....
(Im a guy BTW)
It's a relatively cheap prank, uses zero construction material, yet despite being a 'gift' heads will start exploding.
Ahhh....I see what you did there.
what the hell would I be talking to the cougar for?
...
Same rules probably would apply to Steve Jobs wandering on Microsoft campus.
Gotta get the name correct, else Steve Jobs will put out a A.P.B. on you: iShock.
and right in front of him. lol
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