Pentagon to staff: Stop watching porn at work

Now, we know that MPAA employees love The Pirate Bay, but who would’ve thought that the folks at the Pentagon had such a passion for porn? Well, a new memo from the director of the Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency (MDA) says that they’re coming down hard on their randy staff.

Now, the MDA is supposed to be watching out for us by improving the US’ missile defense systems, but it seems that they’re actually spending more time firing their own rockets (hubba hubba). Or, as Executive Director John James Jr. puts it, “engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, James’ memo gets down and dirty with the details:

“Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages containing pornographic or sexually explicit images. These actions are not only unprofessional, they reflect time taken away from designated duties, are in clear violation of federal and DoD and regulations, consume network resources, and can compromise the security of the network though the introduction of malware or malicious code.”

Employees are being told to clean up their act, or else face ‘appropriate’ disciplinary action. Ouch. Of course, it's not just because they're goofing off on the job – even if it is unprofessional, that’s not the real problem, according to an MDA spokesman. The memo was really sent out because of “a few people downloading material from some websites that were known to have had virus and malware issues.”

Finally, Bloomberg got their hands on some top-secret information from a government ‘cybersecurity specialist;’ speaking anonymously, he says that many pornographic websites are – get this – infected by malware (who'da thunk it? It's good to see our tax dollars at work). Some of that malware is actually engineered by foreign intelligence agencies (cough Russia cough) to help them gain entry into government networks. 

Apparently it's a well known fact that American government employees can't keep their hands out of their pants while on the job. But for our sake, we really do hope that the memo gets the point across; we'd hate to see some baddies make the Pentagon's networks ahem, 'go down'.

Via: MSNnow
Source: Bloomberg

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22 Comments

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Why is porn sites even allowed on the network at all?

Easy enough to block at the DNS level using something like OpenDNS and use a firewall/router to re-route all DNS traffic just in case someone gets the bright idea to run their own DNS server (think BIND9).

Probably solved very quickly and very cheaply. I can't think of one legit reason why these people need access to porn sites to do their jobs. Obviously they dont!!

Personally if I (the network admin) find someone viewing porn at work I do by best to get them fired. 99.99% of the time they get fired on the spot.

By the way I work for a HighSchool so yea even worse and why zero tolerance.

Why assume they are literally jacking off and masturbating at work? Browsing websites that are generally NSFW and include images of naked females etc are all inappropriate and is probably the main/only cause in this situation.

Tax dollars at work!!!! Can't fire them because of freaking unions... WTF is wrong with this country?!

o wait... I know...

Watching too much of Saving Private Blondie,... Uhhh you know what I mean..
Thats a cool job.. We Tax payer are paying soldiers to watch porn instead of defending the country.. NICE!!!!.. I think our military is going to the Sh*TZ...

Toysoldier said,
Surprised they don't have a firewall to block the pr0n.

Amazing isn't it? Here in the Marines, they use Websense and other blocking software, sometimes even blocking youtube.

here is the weird thing, i like porn, i watch porn, but i have NEVER even wanted, or thought about watching it at work... why would anyone want to?

rippleman said,
here is the weird thing, i like porn, i watch porn, but i have NEVER even wanted, or thought about watching it at work... why would anyone want to?

Didn't you know, thats where all the top secret terrorist activity is hidden... on websites full of naked women? Its NSFW so pentagon staff aren't allowed to investigate it.

First, why is this even a memo - there should be a zero tolerance policy in place.

Second, there should be no memo - they should terminate anyone who is in violation, on the way out the door let the reason be known as to why the person was terminated - no need for a memo, it will spread faster than an email.

Brian Toponak said,
First, why is this even a memo - there should be a zero tolerance policy in place.

Second, there should be no memo - they should terminate anyone who is in violation, on the way out the door let the reason be known as to why the person was terminated - no need for a memo, it will spread faster than an email.


Because these people working there are not your average joe working minmum wage that you can sack from mcdonalds and get a replacement within the hour. They are cleaver people who, for the most part, might actually have to visit sites that have pornographic images on the websites. A zero tolerance is a stupid idea at the best of times, but doing their job and in the position they are in... it'd be crazy.
We've all heard of horry stories of of zero tolerance policy in the work place from mothers visiting sites on breast feeding or cartoons with rude gestures deemed NSFW and action being taken with them losing the job.

Of course, if they see logs with searches with explicit search terms for porn results or actually logging in for their daily banga bros etc, then sure give them a warning but to terminate their job for it, it'd be senseless due to their stature.

sagum
They are cleaver people who, for the most part, might actually have to visit sites that have pornographic images on the websites.

Can't imagine why the *Missile Defense* staff would need to lol

Edited by THolman, Aug 3 2012, 2:55pm :

Ryoken said,
Keep it up Pentagon peeps.. I'd rather them studying Alecktra Blue's ass, than mine thanks

You have good taste in porn actresses, sir.

Franklin Lee said,

You have good taste in porn actresses, sir.

Not really.. I like natural.. But it was the first name that came to mind lol

Coulda gone with Sasha Grey though..