Couple of old jokes 2


Recommended Posts

The Desert

One day I went out to the desert and as I was walking around I met this man. He had a gun and he pointed the gun at me and said "why don't you sit down and sh*t". What could I do, he had a gun, so I sat down and sh*t. Then he said to me, "why don't you eat your sh*t". What could I do, he had a gun, so I ate my sh*t.

The next day, I went out to the desert again and I met the same man again. He pointed the gun at me and said "why don't you sit down and sh*t". What could I do, he had a gun, so I sat down and sh*t. Then he said to me, "why don't you eat your sh*t". What could I do, he had a gun, so I ate my sh*t.

But the third day I had a gun too and me and this guy had a wonderfull dinner together......................

========================================================================

Caring Husband

A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room.

The husband was standing there, pulling up his pants, and said, "I think she choked." :rofl:

========================================================================

Blondes Powa

4000 blondes gathering to celebrate the smartest blonde in the world. She is called onto the stage. A gentleman presents her to the crowd and all 4000 blondes are screaming.

The man wants to let everyone know how smart this blond is and asks the blonde what 2 + 2 is............"5" she says and everyone screams "give her another chance".

So the gentleman asks again "what is 2 + 2"................"3" she answers and the crowd screams "give her another chance".

So the gentleman again asks the blonde "what is 2 + 2".........and she says "4"............and the 4000 blondes screams "give her another chance".................

========================================================================

[Epic Warning!!!]

The Frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."

They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton." :yes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.