To Whom It May Concern .. (NSFW)


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MEMORANDUM

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late

OLD: When the fu*k do you expect me to do this?

PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with...

OLD: Tell someone who gives a sh*t

PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned

OLD: Ask me if I give a sh*t

PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project

OLD: Its not my fu*king problem

PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this

OLD: Fu*k it, it won't work

PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that

OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner

PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem

OLD: Who the fu*k cares

PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem

OLD: He's got his head up his a*s

PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it?

OLD: Kiss my a*s

PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment

OLD: Fu*k it, I'm on salary

PREFERRED: I don't think you understand

OLD: Shove it up your a*s

PREFERRED: I love a challenge

OLD: This job su*ks

PREFERRED: I see

OLD: Blow me

PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it

OLD: Another fu*king meeting!!!!

PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem

OLD: I really don't give a sh*t

PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive

OLD: He's a fu*king prick

PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter

OLD: She's a ball busting b*tch

PREFERRED: I think you could use more training

OLD: You don't know what the fu*k you're doing

Edited by Barney
NSFW- Language
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PREFERRED: I am contacting potential clients via social networking.

OLD: I am slacking the f*ck off, as I work hard. Now p*as off, my crop is close to harvest time.

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