Wired joks "expect head ace"


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Hi

I know its my first thread maybe the rules state I must first write comments for other threads I'm sorry I'm new at this,,,

these are some of my jokes please rate while replying 0 as boring and 10 as funny

  1. When you're thinking you're not thinking while you're sober but when you get drunk not thinking is thinking, and thinking gets you ****ed so it's better not to think while you're drunk!!

  1. You close the car after parking as a normal day, and then after few minute you say: did I close the cars lights? You know deep inside you did but then again your high as ****. You say "I must investigate" then as you get close to the car you say "oh yes I'm going to check them". Finally after checking that you closed the cars lights you say "oh yes I did it" while you knew all the time that you closed them at the beginning.

  1. "I don't want to leave you, I want you to leave me"; stupid girls think that we want them to leave us alone they don't know that we mean that we want them by their self's to leave us alone to boost their self esteem, which makes more than 75% of the women of the world sensitive and stupid at the same time.

  1. You're trying to leave your girl friend and you told her "imagine yourself as a bum and you applied to many ****ty companies after you were fired from a good company and tried to get a good job, but then again you tried your best. then told her: "does it make you feel better?" . You said all that to her while you were high and sensitive at the same time!!!

  1. You got so drunk that one time you got so hungry and got fed up with the fridge food that made you pick it up and beat up your parents with it and say: "what the **** is this food?"

  1. When you're thinking you're not thinking while you're sober but when you get drunk not thinking is thinking, and thinking gets you ****ed so it's better not to think while you're drunk!!

  1. Normal day you close the cars lights after getting home, and then after few minute you said: did I close the cars lights? You know deep inside you did but then again your high as ****. You say I must investigate then as you get close to the car you say "oh yes I'm going to check them". Finally after checking you closed the cars lights you say "oh yes I did it" while you knew all the time that you closed them at the beginning.

  1. "I don't want to leave you I want you to leave me"; stupid girls think that we want them to leave us alone they don't know that we mean that we want them by their self's to leave us alone to boost their self esteem, which makes more than 75% of the women of the world sensitive and stupid at the same time.

  1. You're trying to leave your girl friend and you told her "imagine yourself as a bum and you applied to many ****ty companies after you were fired from a good company and tried to get a good job, but then again you tried your best, then told her: does it make you feel better?" . You said all that to her while you were high and sensitive at the same time!!!

  1. You got so drunk that one time you got so hungry and got fed up with the food's fridge that made you pick it up and beat up your parents with it and say: "what the **** is this food?"

Edited by John S.
properly tagged
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I am not sure if John S. is gonna like this,

probably not

, but remember to tag the posts next time.

Some were good, by the way (Y)

Oh, and welcome

thanks man wonder if they have extra effect if you high :)

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