New Male Performance Drugs


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  • With the success of Viagra, many new performance drugs for men go into development:
    PROJECTRA: Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
    COMPLIMENTRA: In clinical trials, 82% of middle-aged men noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
    BUYAGRA: Married men report a sudden urge to buy their wives gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be ascertained: whether the results extend to not minding when women spend money on themselves.
    ANTI-AGRA: Promises the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on U.S. Senators.
    NOSPORTAGRA: This drug makes men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
    FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases into air freshener.
    FLYAGRA: This drug shows great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).
    LIAGRA: This drug helps men lie more successfully when asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Political Strength versions.

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FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases into air freshener.

Will it add color to the gas too? I want to run around ripping away while singing the nyancat tune.

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