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Why did god create Adam before he created Eve?

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x1x1x1x1    9

Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

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Hell-In-A-Handbasket    277

i thought it was because we would have ended up with no body parts, just a big never ending wallet / purse

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Hum    6,928

God told me that it was so Adam would learn about masturbation first. ;)

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Darrian    216

Bros before hoes

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simplezz    864

Because the Old Testament is misogynistic. It was a way of showing the superiority of men over women. In fact the god in the Old Testament is a pretty horrible character altogether.

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dead.cell    1,717

Eh, heard this one quite a few times before. Not bad. I take more humor in this though:

N4bgl.jpg

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Glassed Silver    940

Eh, heard this one quite a few times before. Not bad. I take more humor in this though:

N4bgl.jpg

EXCELLENT MAN!

Way better than OP's joke! :p

Not complaining about the first joke though, whatever floats your boats, people! :laugh:

Glassed Silver:mac

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iguanas    4

Because... Never happened. So anyone invented a nice story

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Glassed Silver    940

Because... Never happened. So anyone invented a nice story

What a punchline...

What a warwagon replica!

Glassed Silver:mac

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PmRd    279

What a punchline...

What a warwagon replica!

Glassed Silver:mac

It's not a joke, it's the truth

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Glassed Silver    940

It's not a joke, it's the truth

Yes, because starting a debate on religion is SOOO appropriate in a joke thread...

This will help everyone lighten up for sure. :rolleyes: :p

I knew he was serious and not joking, hence I poked a little fun :laugh:

Glassed Silver:mac

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Ice_Blue    973

God made the universe, and he rested.

Then God made Man and, he rested.

Then, God made Woman.

No Man has rested since.

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blade1269    86

It's not a joke, it's the truth

Riiiiiight

God made the universe, and he rested.

Then God made Man and, he rested.

Then, God made Woman.

No Man has rested since.

Now that's funny...

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f0rk_b0mb    698

Not Funny. Real answer: they never existed.

- Adam and Eve are white (maybe jewish). Where did Blacks, Asians, etc. come from? Please do tell.

- Adam and Eve have kids...then what? Are you suggesting such a powerful being told your kids to have sex with each other? You Monster!

- The Bible is ancient Hebrew literature and nothing more.

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Jim K    8,675

Not Funny. Real answer: they never existed.

- Adam and Eve are white (maybe jewish). Where did Blacks, Asians, etc. come from? Please do tell.

- Adam and Eve have kids...then what? Are you suggesting such a powerful being told your kids to have sex with each other? You Monster!

- The Bible is ancient Hebrew literature and nothing more.

This thread just got real....

*sigh*

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StevenJ    93

Not Funny. Real answer: they never existed.

- Adam and Eve are white (maybe jewish). Where did Blacks, Asians, etc. come from? Please do tell.

- Adam and Eve have kids...then what? Are you suggesting such a powerful being told your kids to have sex with each other? You Monster!

- The Bible is ancient Hebrew literature and nothing more.

Sigh the bible is full of crap but everything you said is out of ignorance.

1. We don't know the ethnicity of Adam and Eve. Jewish is not an ethnicity, and neither is `white.` The different ethnicitys are said to come from the sons of Noah (Shem, Ham, and Japheth) and are named equivalent (ie Semite, Hamite..).

2. In the Bible, when Cain was exiled, he went out and found a wife. Even though the Bible doesn't make mention of creating extra people, it does so indirectly.

3. The early testament of the Bible is much older than the Hebrew language.

Now, here's what I want you to do. I want you to read the bible and then decide you don't like it. Don't just circle jerk your other bible hating friends and come up with your useless opinion. Do you see how you pretend that your answer is absolute and correct? And how you think you're witty and above it all? ....you're none of those things.

:-)

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Glassed Silver    940

Wow... this thread derailed really quick...

I kinda saw this coming... *sigh*

Guys, create your own thread or use the official Religion thread. Please. :sleep:

Glassed Silver:mac

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Ice_Blue    973

What the eff is wrong with you people?

Did any of the arsehats replying to the OP ACTUALLY REALISED WHAT PARTICULAR FORUM THEY'RE IN?

It's a JOKE, people. You know, those irrational statements that pop up once in a while and gives the average human a standard against which their mediocrity should be applied?

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f0rk_b0mb    698

Sigh the bible is full of crap but everything you said is out of ignorance.

1. We don't know the ethnicity of Adam and Eve. Jewish is not an ethnicity, and neither is `white.` The different ethnicitys are said to come from the sons of Noah (Shem, Ham, and Japheth) and are named equivalent (ie Semite, Hamite..).

2. In the Bible, when Cain was exiled, he went out and found a wife. Even though the Bible doesn't make mention of creating extra people, it does so indirectly.

3. The early testament of the Bible is much older than the Hebrew language.

Now, here's what I want you to do. I want you to read the bible and then decide you don't like it. Don't just circle jerk your other bible hating friends and come up with your useless opinion. Do you see how you pretend that your answer is absolute and correct? And how you think you're witty and above it all? ....you're none of those things.

:-)

I've read the bible cover to cover. I'm not basing my opinion off anyone.

1. God made Jesus in his image. He was a Jew. God made Adam and Eve in his image, so let's also assume they are Jews.

2. I stand corrected on that one.

3. The bible is Hebrew. http://www.biblica.com/bibles/faq/11/

This is the jokes section. I'm not trying to debate.

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Hum    6,928

Not Funny. Real answer: they never existed.

- Adam and Eve are white (maybe jewish). Where did Blacks, Asians, etc. come from? Please do tell.

- Adam and Eve have kids...then what? Are you suggesting such a powerful being told your kids to have sex with each other? You Monster!

- The Bible is ancient Hebrew literature and nothing more.

Adam & Eve are both a Myth and actual -- depending on which Reality you are tuned in to.

Humans were created by spiritual Consciousness, and did indeed materialize, fully formed out of 'thin air'.

And the Bible is a mix of fact, dreams, and mythical events. ;)

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Charisma    2,388

Oi. No more off-topic-ness :p we have a religion forum if you really feel the need to go off on that every time somebody mentions the "G" word. Otherwise, either laugh or roll your eyes as appropriate, and move on.

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123456789A    4,708

We can't have religious stuff in the jokes & funny stuff without atheists coming in and pushing their beliefs on you... oh wait.

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TPreston    5,247

Because god wanted to watch adam in the nip more than eve tssh

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Ice_Blue    973

The mods should not only lock this thread.

They should lock up the entire bloody forum.

Neowin is slowly, but surely, gaining a place in the hierarchy of the Internet has-beens.

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ChickPea57    0

Because the Old Testament is misogynistic. It was a way of showing the superiority of men over women. In fact the god in the Old Testament is a pretty horrible character altogether.

Randolph Churchill, on reading the Bible cover-to-cover to win a bet, said: "Isn't God a ****?"

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