Skin Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 You sound just like my step father, who physically and mentally abused those around him under the guise of "toughening" them up. Well, if he was plain spoken and stuck to his points and didn't whine and feel sorry for himself and others while doing nothing... then yeah. Hmm, come to think of it, I guess that's why you seem to sound like a wimpy do nothing but feel sorry for them kinda person... must have wanted to go to the far extreme of your childhood. Guess I should feel sorry for you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrynalyne Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Well, if he was plain spoken and stuck to his points and didn't whine and feel sorry for himself and others while doing nothing... then yeah. Hmm, come to think of it, I guess that's why you seem to sound like a wimpy do nothing but feel sorry for them kinda person... must have wanted to go to the far extreme of your childhood. Guess I should feel sorry for you now. Nice, now you are insulting me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trag3dy Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 You seem to want to just sit their and feel sorry for them.... boo hoo. That does nothing, except make you feel better about yourself. You mistake me then. But you're basically saying this girl deserved to be bullied because she wasn't strong enough. I'm honestly not sure what you expect from a 12 year old. And I tend to blame the people who are guilty not the victim who thought her only possible way out was to kill herself. And since we're judging people, you're an insensitive ass. adrynalyne 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charisma Veteran Posted October 16, 2013 Veteran Share Posted October 16, 2013 I'm the first one to advocate spanking children, to teach them to prioritise things in their life and learn to filter out what people say--bullies are unimportant. I agree that overall kids are not "tough" enough. But this is really extreme. You are certainly aware of how one negative thing stands out in our minds so much more prominently than ten positive ones. It's human nature. Kids this age are, as Larry put it, still developing and learning their place in the world. Their world is much different than the one we grew up in, and our perspective has to adjust as such. It's all well and good to say BACK IN MY DAY WE WALKED BAREFOOT TO SCHOOL, IN THE SNOW, UPHILL BOTH WAYS blah blah, but that trivialises the different-but-still-valid problems kids of today deal with. Yes, parents need to discipline their kids properly and teach them to stand up for themselves and be strong individuals. But not every set of parents does this. Is it the kid's fault? Can they be blamed? They are doing their best to get through life, just like we all are. Being extremely coddling is bad, but so is being extremely cold and brutal. It's about--as with everything--moderation. That and human empathy are really lacking these days. trag3dy and adrynalyne 2 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Nice, now you are insulting me. Did I, I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 You mistake me then. But you're basically saying this girl deserved to be bullied because she wasn't strong enough. I'm honestly not sure what you expect from a 12 year old. And I tend to blame the people who are guilty not the victim who thought her only possible way out was to kill herself. And since we're judging people, you're an insensitive ass. Well, I guess you didn't understand a thing that was typed then. I said what was expected by everyone involved. Keep giving free passes out to the parents and the victims, and well, sooner than later, everyone will be a victim. Also, not insensitive, just not someone that will boo hoo and be a do nothing bleeding heart. That doesn't make one insensitive, just a realist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trag3dy Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Well, I guess you didn't understand a thing that was typed then. I said what was expected by everyone involved. Keep giving free passes out to the parents and the victims, and well, sooner than later, everyone will be a victim. Also, not insensitive, just not someone that will boo hoo and be a do nothing bleeding heart. That doesn't make one insensitive, just a realist. Yeah, 'cuz saying kids these days just need to toughen up will bring the girl back to life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrynalyne Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Yeah, 'cuz saying kids these days just need to toughen up will bring the girl back to life. In Skin's world, the victims are the problem, not the aggressors. Get rid of the victims, problem solved. trag3dy 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupportGeek Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I think there are salient points from both sides of this argument, while Skin has an insensitive approach and wrongly wants to blame the victim only on this, he is correct that the insular approach that a lot of parents take to protecting their children today is making a weaker generation, one that doesn't have the ability, motivation or tools to stand up for themselves. At the same time, he needs to realize that stalking, and harassment (aka bullying) is not acceptable (and against the law) in the real world, why on earth would anyone think it should be acceptable online? Also understand that while we can tell our children to turn off the computer and walk away, online targeted "bullying" is never restricted to just online, its always an extension of what is happening at school or elsewhere outside. Its just not that simple to get away from, especially when they are actively recruiting more people to harass and intimidate the target. Parenting is a HUGE part of the equation on both sides, not only do kids need to be encouraged in developing self confidence and self,reliance, but they need to be taught that they need to seek assistance when they encounter bullying under any circumstance. Parents also need to reach their children to respect others and explain how bad it is to stalk, harass, intimidate, or assault other children, and that those things have real and lasting consequences. Be involved in your kids lives, and be aware to take action. Praetor, trag3dy, Charisma and 1 other 4 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 No joke bullying is real, but the kids now-a-days are *******. Really, it stems from the parents and the world around them... and judging by the poor you people around here, I weep for the future. I weep for people who have no compassion and feeling for their fellow man. Seriously, if that is your attitude then you have no clue on how to handle situations like this. I have been a bully, and I have been bullied. You have no clue how words/actions/physical actions can have an impression on a young developing mind...especially when you have 15 people coming at you. adrynalyne, trag3dy and He's Dead Jim 3 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freak180 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I dont feel a think for people to kill themselves. I been bullied my entire life. Beaten, attacked, and online as well. Yes I feel the parents are responsible for this as well as her own fault. And Life goes on. Lord Method Man 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 I dont feel a think for people to kill themselves. I been bullied my entire life. Beaten, attacked, and online as well. Yes I feel the parents are responsible for this as well as her own fault. And Life goes on. In a perfect world, this is how things should work. However, we are all individuals and take things differently. How you handle and deal with a situation is not how someone else will. Charisma 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freak180 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 In a perfect world, this is how things should work. However, we are all individuals and take things differently. How you handle and deal with a situation is not how someone else will. No but it shows its not impossible like others may think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 No but it shows its not impossible like others may think. Possible for some, but impossible for others. Not everyone can cope with situations like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Poster Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Also, what martial arts is she in? If it's Karate, that's not going to help much. I'd recommend Judo for a young girl; I have a 12 year old girl in my Judo class and she's amazing, she can take pretty much anyone down; I don't know a single girl that age who would even have a prayer against her. judo? judo isnt a martial arts for fighting, its a defence similar to karate... kick boxing or something is better... MMA is a good one... just mix it up.. love MMA you can pick and choose your favourite bits... its like compiling your own linux Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrynalyne Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 judo? judo isnt a martial arts for fighting, its a defence similar to karate... kick boxing or something is better... MMA is a good one... just mix it up.. love MMA you can pick and choose your favourite bits... its like compiling your own linux Not sure what Judo you are familiar with, but it is not similar to Karate... Either way, combining multiple martial arts such as what my daughter is doing is the cornerstore of MMA and solves the problems with a reactive martial art. A mere kickboxer that heads into an MMA octagon will have his ass handed to him rather quickly. Someone who is an experienced judoka with a striking style combined will fare better. A kickboxer with a ground fighting style is the most ideal for MMA, but really, this is for my daughter so I don't think that is necessary ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astropheed Veteran Posted October 16, 2013 Veteran Share Posted October 16, 2013 judo? judo isnt a martial arts for fighting, its a defence similar to karate... kick boxing or something is better... MMA is a good one... just mix it up.. love MMA you can pick and choose your favourite bits... its like compiling your own linux Although Judo is considered a defensive style (which is why people take jiu jitsu), it's nothing like Karate. Comparing them makes you look uninformed. Also, not all styles complement each other. For example; try taking TKD and then learn Boxing; you're going to get yelled at a lot. ...I'm also not sure you have a firm grasp of what MMA is. adrynalyne 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrynalyne Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Although Judo is considered a defensive style (which is why people take jiu jitsu), it's nothing like Karate. Comparing them makes you look uninformed. Also, not all styles complement each other. For example; try taking TKD and then learn Boxing; you're going to get yelled at a lot. ...I'm also not sure you have a firm grasp of what MMA is. Yelled at and probably schooled ;) I sparred a boxer when I took Kenpo. I was fine at a distance, but once he got close enough...never been hit so hard in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astropheed Veteran Posted October 16, 2013 Veteran Share Posted October 16, 2013 Yelled at and probably schooled ;) I sparred a boxer when I took Kenpo. I was fine at a distance, but once he got close enough...never been hit so hard in my life. All it seems we ever do in Boxing is hit things as hard as we can or get hit really hard all over. Trust me when I say this, just don't fight a Boxer. adrynalyne 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He's Dead Jim Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I think that it would be more effective and mentally stimulating to teach kids chess, to think ahead a couple of moves, rendering the bullying to null effect, Judo wont stop online bullying I'm afraid, but will maybe help kids to "roll with it" if they are attacked irl.. As for boxing, the main objective is to inflict brain damage on ones opponent to the point where they lose consciousness, Why would one teach kids that?, teach em peace. all of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Poster Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Although Judo is considered a defensive style (which is why people take jiu jitsu), it's nothing like Karate. Comparing them makes you look uninformed. Also, not all styles complement each other. For example; try taking TKD and then learn Boxing; you're going to get yelled at a lot. ...I'm also not sure you have a firm grasp of what MMA is. you are putting words into my sentence that i never said, you just assume that I said all styles compliment each other? and I know more about judo and karate than you comprehend. just because the moves are different doesn't mean the technique or the over all point isnt the same... judo and karate are both used to regards of using your opponents strength and weight against them from a defensive point. though if any defensive art should be taken then I would suggest wing chun as its an aggressive defence which uses the aspect of using your opponent against them selves but with a much more aggressive tone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Poster Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I think that it would be more effective and mentally stimulating to teach kids chess, to think ahead a couple of moves, rendering the bullying to null effect, Judo wont stop online bullying I'm afraid, but will maybe help kids to "roll with it" if they are attacked irl.. As for boxing, the main objective is to inflict brain damage on ones opponent to the point where they lose consciousness, Why would one teach kids that?, teach em peace. all of them to teach peace is to teach gullibility Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He's Dead Jim Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 to teach peace is to teach gullibility you know best... Original Poster 1 Share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrynalyne Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I think that it would be more effective and mentally stimulating to teach kids chess, to think ahead a couple of moves, rendering the bullying to null effect, Judo wont stop online bullying I'm afraid, but will maybe help kids to "roll with it" if they are attacked irl.. As for boxing, the main objective is to inflict brain damage on ones opponent to the point where they lose consciousness, Why would one teach kids that?, teach em peace. all of them We kind of went off on a tangent, so what we were discussing is not entirely relevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I weep for people who have no compassion and feeling for their fellow man. Seriously, if that is your attitude then you have no clue on how to handle situations like this. I have been a bully, and I have been bullied. You have no clue how words/actions/physical actions can have an impression on a young developing mind...especially when you have 15 people coming at you. The point keeps being driven home... the culture of 'poor you, poor me' is ridiculous - and furthers the issue, not helps it. The original point was that the kid was ill prepared for life. Period. Her parents failed as much as the snot nosed bully's parents. There is no getting around that. People on here are saying how it's sad, turning on one another, but bottom line... ending our life over some on-line bullying shows a severe lack of mental well-being in general, and the story shows a GREAT lack of parenting from her parents. So really, f*** the people that suggest the victim is to blame for being bullied... but yes, the victim IS to blame for ending their life... along with the support system that was around her/them (in this rather short story). As a side note, one has to wonder why 15 people were ganging up on one person... did she not have friends of her own for support? Did she do something to the rest of the kids? Did the other 13 kids just follow the other two's commands? Normal bullying seems to be a couple, or one, on one... So much more detail to the story would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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