[Advice] My Mom


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I really need some advice. My mom recently had violent mood swings and she's on the brink of destroying my family with a divorce. Two weeks ago she declared she was going to have it because my dad didn't make enough money. I did some of my own researching and it turns out my dad makes only $1000 less than my mom and it really angers me that she's throwing the family away over $1000 and the fact that I'm a mistake to her. Just right now I was doing some chatting along with some scholarship work, she leaves the room, and comes back in yelling at me because I'm "playing games" :(. What can I do? I'm soon going to just walk out of the house and just stay at a friends house when she has them because I've been massively hurt by her messages towards me and my family. Ever since they started (beginning of th year) I've been going through depression and I just can't take it anymore...

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I really need some advice. My mom recently had violent mood swings and she's on the brink of destroying my family with a divorce. Two weeks ago she declared she was going to have it because my dad didn't make enough money. I did some of my own researching and it turns out my dad makes only $1000 less than my mom and it really angers me that she's throwing the family away over $1000 and the fact that I'm a mistake to her. Just right now I was doing some chatting along with some scholarship work, she leaves the room, and comes back in yelling at me because I'm "playing games" :(. What can I do? I'm soon going to just walk out of the house and just stay at a friends house when she has them because I've been massively hurt by her messages towards me and my family. Ever since they started (beginning of th year) I've been going through depression and I just can't take it anymore...

i say take her to a corner and slap her around and say STFU UR DRIVING US INSANE!

on the serious side, I really don't kno, females can be strange.

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have your dad try to get her to go to the dr to see what's wrong. if she won't go, you and your dad need to get some kind of counselling to find out how to deal with her. it's good to have a place to go when she's acting up, but you and your dad (and any other family members) need to stick together as well. are you getting any help with your depression?

good luck

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I really need some advice. My mom recently had violent mood swings and she's on the brink of destroying my family with a divorce. Two weeks ago she declared she was going to have it because my dad didn't make enough money. I did some of my own researching and it turns out my dad makes only $1000 less than my mom and it really angers me that she's throwing the family away over $1000 and the fact that I'm a mistake to her. Just right now I was doing some chatting along with some scholarship work, she leaves the room, and comes back in yelling at me because I'm "playing games" :(. What can I do? I'm soon going to just walk out of the house and just stay at a friends house when she has them because I've been massively hurt by her messages towards me and my family. Ever since they started (beginning of th year) I've been going through depression and I just can't take it anymore...

Hey man hang in there. I've been through a similar thing and its tough. Don't let it eat you up or you'll make mistakes like i did. Whatever happens know that you're better then that. It's not worth the pain you'll cause if you run. Talk to people. If not your family then friends. If you can't talk to them either I'm hear too. I realise I'm a stranger but I know what you're going through. Add me to your msn if you'd like to talk but please don't make mistakes like I did. Be better than the bad stuff going on. Be strong but don't be afraid to talk to someone. It's ok to be sad but it's not ok to run. Msg me if you need it.

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have you tried going to your guidance counsler about this in school? (im assuming your in school) i had a few problems here and there and you'd be surprised its really nice just to tell somebody that you can trust whats going on in your life. even if they cant help you it just just be better to let it out. maybe he/she will have some good advice. good luck and get some help if your really depressed

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hey man i feel yah just today my mom says im the reason why her marriage is screwed up!

like common u just dont say that to a 15 year old i felt like pimp slappin her and bootin her ass to the corner lol

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Don't know a lot of other personal stuff related to family situation, of course, but there are often environmental factors that can need some attention. (For example, if you're going to college in the near future, that can put stress on a family--especially moms--due to the unknowns.)

Your Mom may benefit from seeing a psychiatrist for stuff (could be menopause, need for Prozac....?). Could be a "midlife crisis", which is pretty common.

Also, most significantly, could just be general end-of-year holiday stress. A lot of folk get more "bizarre" during the holiday period as finances perhaps get strained, work schedules get bounced around, they have to deal with social dynamics of holiday gatherings, cold and low sunlight affect their physical functioning, they exercise less, etc., etc.

For now, and without knowing more, I'd try to attribute a lot to the season, be patient, see that everyone gets sunlight and reasonable exercise.... Might seem simple, but even as daylight hours start to become longer again, a lot regarding people's attitudes can improve....

Anything nice you can come up with that you could perhaps do with your Mom?

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Dude, she may be going through menopause so take that into consideration.

Ask your dad if she is, most women will not devulge this information to their siblings. Menopause can last a very long time and she may be experiencing it. Hormones get thrown out of whack and the thought of not being able to conceive children on a psycological side(even though they probably didnt want more anyway) can be quite dramatic as they feel inadequate and feel as they themselves are not a complete woman anymore.

She could be suffering from the above or some other medical problem so step softly. Speak to your father firstly and if you are brave enough, ask her when the time is right why she is being this way. You never know, she might just tell you.

Anyway man, good luck regardless.

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My first assumtion is menopause and it still stands. And I'm about to go off to college too, and she's afraid to lose me, but she takes the anger out on me which makes no sense. Some of my friend are going through this too so we talk about it and help each other out, I've learned things about them I wouldn't even think that they would do. Ever since high school started, she would just confine me to the house and I would just use the computer to stop bordem since I wasn't going out with friends. I'm quit sick of it now because she complains that I'm on it all the time, but its her fault :/. I also refuse to take medication because my friend is dependant on them and I don't think I have that bad of a case. I just wish things would be the same, because it has certainly changed me and I lost a good friendship too.

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Sounds to me as she has some problems far more then nagging you.

She is about to lose her son to college, menopause most likely and probably doesnt have the need to mother you now as you are growing up.

I do recommend that you do talk to her. Ask her some off hand questions and then probing questions such as 'why do you mother me so much and restrict me from doing what i want?' and 'why do you shout at me for no reason?' or the questions that you wish to ask etc etc

When these questions are brought to her, she might wake up to the fact that she is hurting you in some way due to her actions. Most mothers whom are not aware of such behaviour, once they do know of their bahaviour see that the actions they have done has affected others.

This can have three effects,

1. depression and sadness due to the fact of feeling guilty for doing stupid things without them knowing it and hurting you and others at the same time and after some time, make herslf a better person

2. Acknowledgment and recognition of the past and to improve herself rapidly and a vow to make things right

3. Total ignorance of this.

Number 3 is not the best at all and its one thing you have to accept if she does not acknowledge what she has been doing to you and others. If this is to happen, dont just rub things off. May take some time to wear her down but keep her involved in your life no matter how frustrating andn hurtful it can be.

If in the many years ahead she has not changed, at least you can look back and say to yourself that you had tried the most and done more then any other person wouldve done.

One thing in which no one in this thread has mentioned including myself is the fact that she may be suffering from some mental illness. This is not uncommon in middle aged persons, stress, loss of family(you going to college) and personal sickness such as menopause or some other illness can cause some strain on an individual and it may have finally caught up to her.

She may be going through a mid life crisis herself, wondering what may have been and not happy for whom she is.

There are just sooo many things that may have led her to become this way to you and your family, the thing is to isolate why and work out a way to correct things.

She herself may have to have some anti-depressants. Though the thing is, the first step has to be taken, sometimes it has to made by someone else. Your father may not be that person as he may also be stepping on broken glass if he was to confront her and hence have a nagative effect towards the family.

So maybe a gentle talk by you, one on one, asking her why she is treating you and hurting you. If you llet your emotions out and tears fall down your cheeks, then do so, you will be letting alot of built up emotions shoine through and she may see the pain in your eyes and wake up to herself.

Anyhoos man, i hope you sort it out.

Tread carefully but make sure you tread to start the process of peace in your family.

Cheers

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Yeah, I had this problem too and even worse, I got abused by my mum. My mum fought with my dad and even hit him on the head with a hammer. She did not only verbally abused me but physically too. She nearly filed for divorce too and hated me like crazy. She caused my family to split into 2 by selling away the house which we lived in. I had endured all this for the past 20 years. Now I am down with severe depression and had tried to commit suicide a couple of times. I am regularly visiting the physiatrist. I know this sucks. But after she knew what is going on inside me and all the pain she had caused me, she changed. Now she treats me and my dad better.

Perhaps you should confront her (or get someone to) and tell her all your feelings. Maybe it would help. Also, remember to consider the fact that a woman tend to be more sensitive and hence, more violent mood swings. I hope I helped a little in making you feel better and you are not alone in this.

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Its called menopause, shes going thru a hard time right now, my mom had breast cancer and cemo stuff and now shes going thru menopause and cant have drugs cause i can cause cancer to come back, so its real rough dealing with her at times but, u just gotta understand its her hormones and stuff going nuts so she wont act herself for a while unless she gets to the docotor and gets menopause hormone balancing :\ .. cause i know my parents fight so much now that my moms going thru the sh*t, but gotta deal with it cause she cant help it or can get any help, just have ur dad take her to the docotor dude, sounds liek menopause :\

good luck (Y)

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