rpm Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 I've been assigned an assignment where I have to write a "hakiu" poem with "5 / 7 5" syllabells. Here is the rough layout I've done so far, Perfection Before Me,Senstations Exploding Within, Wishing Chance. I'd rather if you don't have something helpful or nice to say that you please don't post in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threetonesun Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Per-fec-tion be-fore me: 6 syllables sen-sat-tions ex-plod-ing with-in: 8 syllables wish-ing chance: 3 syllables that's not even close to 5 - 7 - 5 :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 10, 2004 Author Share Posted January 10, 2004 How about.. Perfection Upon,Senstations Exploding Wild, Wishing Chance Now. I don't know about that "Now" at the end if anyone has any recommendations. Thanks ThreeTone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threetonesun Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 How about..I don't know about that "Now" at the end if anyone has any recommendations. Thanks ThreeTone. sensations, not senstations, and now is only one syllable, your last line still needs one more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 10, 2004 Author Share Posted January 10, 2004 Okay.. How's this. Perfection Upon,Sensations Exploding Wild, Wishing Chance Within. :happy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firebud Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Sounds good to me! :happy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threetonesun Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 Yeah, that works. If you need to know how many syllables a word is, remember the dictionary is your friend :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 10, 2004 Author Share Posted January 10, 2004 It's meant to be talking about a girl that is in front of me.. Then I'm feeling a rush of emtions and wishing for a chance with her. Let me know if you got that. :ninja: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Atlantis Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 It's meant to be talking about a girl that is in front of me.. Then I'm feeling a rush of emtions and wishing for a chance with her.Let me know if you got that. :ninja: Yeah we got that :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaRSightxc2 Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 5-7-5 eh? This Is Pretty Gay, Why restrict the amount of, Syllables you use? or I Hate Poetry, It's The Worst Thing In The World, It Honestly Sucks. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 It's meant to be talking about a girl that is in front of me.. Then I'm feeling a rush of emtions and wishing for a chance with her.Let me know if you got that. :ninja: Sigh. RPM that part of your post is gonna bring people onto you like a pack of wolves, and so far this threads been ok. Then you wonder why people do it.... yer gonna realize someday man.... :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxikk Veteran Posted January 11, 2004 Veteran Share Posted January 11, 2004 5-7-5 eh?This Is Pretty Gay, Why restrict the amount of, Syllables you use? or I Hate Poetry, It's The Worst Thing In The World, It Honestly Sucks. :rolleyes: HAHA! nice one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 11, 2004 Author Share Posted January 11, 2004 Bro!? HOMER, I am just wondering if people understood the direction of the poem and that's fine if you yourself didn't because the girls in the class that reviewed my paper (laura, carolyin, megan) like it! Anyone else care to give constructive comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangbang023 Veteran Posted January 11, 2004 Veteran Share Posted January 11, 2004 If you're writing to impress someone, you will never be good. I write poems (I am not a poet cause I do it only for myself) and unless you just pour your soul into what you are writing, it wil lnever be truely amazing. I'm not saying my stuff is good or amazing, just I can't even bother reading someone else's work unless I know they put everything into it. Back on topic: If you're going for haiku, you are way off on the syllable count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaise Veteran Posted January 11, 2004 Veteran Share Posted January 11, 2004 gah, Haiku's made me crazy in school. Good Luck Alex ;) while I'm here: Computer Haiku had to ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 11, 2004 Author Share Posted January 11, 2004 thanks.. *prints list* $5! $5 per hakiu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delsphynx Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 Okay.. How's this.:happy: I personally think this summarizes a little bit better what you have in your head- all the words that you have used except one, just put together a little bit differently: Perfection in front, Sensation Exploding Free, Wishing for a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 11, 2004 Author Share Posted January 11, 2004 Nice! Hrm :huh: is their a computer site I can use to check hakiu poems to make sure they have the correct syl.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delsphynx Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 Um, say the word and count each syllable as you say it? You do speak English right (being from Virginia and all)? :) If you want a real way to do it, the dictionary is what you need: Dictionary Look up the word "sensation" - you will see that in the definition the word is shown as sen.sa.tion - those are the syllables. Sensation has 3 (sen, sa, and tion). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 11, 2004 Author Share Posted January 11, 2004 I have to say yes I think. :ninja: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viruz Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 arent haikus suposed to reflec nature? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpm Posted January 11, 2004 Author Share Posted January 11, 2004 I believe they usually do but can reflect anything.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangbang023 Veteran Posted January 11, 2004 Veteran Share Posted January 11, 2004 Nice! Hrm :huh: is their a computer site I can use to check hakiu poems to make sure they have the correct syl.? just use your fingers. I do that alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 5-7-5 eh?This Is Pretty Gay, Why restrict the amount of, Syllables you use? or I Hate Poetry, It's The Worst Thing In The World, It Honestly Sucks. :rolleyes: Godo one dud... (Y) :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threetonesun Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 control alt delete the three keys which are used to end hanging programs haikus are fun. You almost never see single haikus, usually they are strung together to make longer poems, each one being a single stanza, or thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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