need a funny quote for yearbook


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Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun.

-Army of Darkness

I have always found against evil and I've always won

- My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult

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If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Sorry...It's "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!"

Oh, can someone answer this... why do they say Going to hell in a handbasket?

Why not a shopping cart, or elevator, etc.?

Just wondering.

:alien:

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

all by jack handey and could have something to do with school or your time.

i chose "You are blind now but faith can heal you" by Rev. Maynard ( tool - opiate ) since i'm in a private christian school :devil: :devil:

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You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You're on your own.

And you know what you know.

You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

~Dr. Seuss

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01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01111001 01101111 01110101

(it means **** you in binary :) )

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"my friends @ neowin.net told me to put this"

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there are a lot, but all worth the read. I bolded my favourites.

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

^All by Albert Einstein^

"Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead."

- Chinese Proverb

"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever."

- Chinese Proverb

"Trust in Allah, but tie your camel."

- Arabian Proverb

"If you believe that dreams can come true, be prepared for the occasional nightmare too."

- French Proverb

"Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river."

- Haitian Proverb

"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes."

- Proverb

"A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times."

- Sanskrit Proverb

"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."

- Yiddish Proverb

"Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence."

- Sholem Asch

"The luckiest man in the world was Adam- he had no mother-in-law."

- Sholom Aleichem

"To fall in love is to creat a religion that has a fallible god."

- Jorge Luis Borges (1899 - 1986)

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."

- [Anna Maria Louisa] Anne Bancroft [italiano] (1931 - )

"I don't care where I sit as long as I get fed."

- Calvin Marshall Trillin (1935 - )

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

- Carl Bard

"The "teenager" seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding."

- Edgar Z. Friedenberg

"When a women behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man?"

- Edith Evans

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

- Carl W. Buechner

"It is easier to buy books than to read them, and easier to read them than to absorb them."

- Sir William Osler

"I am a student. Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate me."

- Slogan of the Free Speech Movement, 1964.

"Be of love a little more careful than of anything."

- Edward Estlin Cummings (1894 - 1962)

"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."

- Chapman Cohen

"Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are."

- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve

"If women want any rights more than they'd got, why don't they just take them, and not be talking about it."

- Sojourner Truth (1797 - 1883)

"Learning in old age is like writing on sand; learning in youth is like engraving on stone."

- Solomon Ibn Gabirol ( - 1070)

"I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave."

- Edward Morgan Forster (1879-1970)

"The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children."

- Edward, Duke of Windsor

"You are either part of the solution or part of the problem."

- Eldridge [Leroy] Cleaver (1935 - )

"Love your enemies- it will drive them nuts."

- Eleanor Doan

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other ****** die for his."

- General George [smith] Patton, Jr. (1885 - 1945)

"Wel loved he garleek, oynons, and eek lekes, And for to drynken strong wyn, reed as blood."

- Geoffrey Chaucer (c. 1343 - 1400)

"He who angers you conquers you."

- Elizabeth Kenny (1886 - 1952)

one of my personal favs

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

http://coolquiz.com/trivia/randomquote/index.asp has a lot of good ones too.

http://forums.winamp.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=137793 as well.

Edited by PrntScrn
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I used this one;

"If sometimes you feel yourself little, useless, offended, and depressed, always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm out of hundreds of millions."

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" Do i really have to feed grandma bacon while shes in the bathtub?"

:x Wrong beyond words.

Here's one more.. I love this one :D

"Confucious say, if man walk through doorway sideways, he is going to Bangkok"

(Get it? Bang kok? ahahahah!1...right)

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