joke How you can tell when it's going to be a bad day

[jnelsoninjax]

1) You wake up - face down on the pavement.

2) You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

3) You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your office.

4) Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

6) You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

7 )Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

? You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize you don't have a waterbed.

9) Your carhorn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of hells angels on the freeway.

10) Your wife wakes up feeling amourous and YOU have a headache.

11) Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat.

12) The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

13) You wake up and your braces are locked together.

14) You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

15) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.