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Employees Reveal The Dumbest Customer Complaints They Have Ever Heard

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Mindovermaster    2,122

I found this large group of funny store front jokes. There's 52 of them, all are funny af... Enjoy!

 

Quote

#1 Are These Fries From The Frier?

Customer: These fries are too hot. They taste like they just came out of the fryer.

 

#2 The Other Kind of Chicken

Brought out chicken parmesan to a lady at the restaurant I work at. The lady takes a bite and asks if it’s really chicken in the chicken parmesan, I say of course it is. She immediately breaks down crying because she’s a vegetarian and asks to see a manager.

 

#3 Best Manager Ever

I’m working at Taco Bell during the Sunday after church rush, and we have a line so long people are waiting outside the store. A family of three make it to the counter. Despite the fact that they had plenty of time to look at the menu board, the parents didn’t know what kids meal to get their three-year-old. Their options were a hard shell, soft shell, or bean burrito. They kept changing their mind after I rang it up.

I can tell my manager is getting annoyed as she is working the hot table and knows we have a mass of people waiting. I tell the family, “If you don’t know what to order please step to the side and let me know when you have decided. I can’t have you holding up the line.” The father, dressed in his Sunday best, started tearing into me in front of the entire crowd. He started calling me a low life degenerate, a college dropout who probably can’t make a change, etc. And he wasn’t saying this quietly. I proceeded to wipe his order and start helping the next customer.

Once his order was wiped, he knocked over our cup display and shouted, “Now listen here you …” My manager walked from the line at that point and told him to get out of the store or she was calling the cops. He said, “Oh yeah, what are the cops going to do?” The best moment of working fast food was my manager turning to the crowd and saying “Show of hands, who here just witnessed this guy verbally assaulting my employee?” Every single customer raised their hand. My manager then told him to get out and not to come back.

He tried to come through the drive-through about thirty minutes later. He ordered the same combos and a kids meal. He got to the window and there stood my manager. “Not going to happen, keep driving,” she said. My manager was awesome.

 

#4 Dry Humor

At a garden center. “Some of your plants are wet.”

 

#5 Easy As 1, 2, 4

While working in retail, a woman who had come in the day before was furious that we had not bagged one of the items she had paid for. She claimed to have paid for four sets of boxers but only three were in the bag. We looked up her receipt on our register and saw that we only charged her for three. We even looked back at the security tape to see that she had only brought 3 to the register.

After giving her a call back saying that she had only purchased and paid for three, she blew up. Racial slurs, profanity, and threats were made about how we were scamming her. In 20 minutes, she came to the store with her receipt to prove that she paid for four. We counted. One, two, three. Instead of accepting the facts, she ripped up the receipt and said that she paid for four. She started knocking down clothes on the racks on her way out and demanded her set of boxers. The owner just gave it to her and told her not to come back.

 

#6 Harassing A Thief

A guy accused me of harassing him because I kicked him out of the store after the third time he stole from us. He then called the cops.

Merry_B***ard

whologwhy@flickr

 

#7 Just Wait

“This food is too hot. I’d like it replaced with cooler food.”

 

#8 Cry Baby

Worked in a sandwich and wing place several years ago. Had a woman order hot wings for delivery. After they were delivered, she called raging that “those hot wings made her baby cry!” The manager politely offered to send her mild instead.

 

#9 Next Window, Please

I work at a bank inside of a grocery store. The customer was very upset that they couldn’t buy their toilet paper and Doritos at the teller window.

 

#10 New Clothes

A woman managed to spill gasoline all over herself at the gas station I worked at and demanded we pay for new clothing.

 

 

#11 Coffee For The Clueless

“This cappuccino feels like it’s half foam!”

 

#12 Overheard

I was working in a restaurant a few years ago. It was pretty late after closing, and I was waiting for the last table to finish eating so I could clean up (not my table). In the meantime, I was doing some other closing work on the other side of the restaurant, talking to a co-worker, and glancing occasionally over my shoulder to see if they had left yet.

The lady at the table comes up to me, demanding to see the manager. I say OK, not really grasping how angry she is, and go get him. She begins to rant about how my co-worker and I were laughing about how she and her friends were “dogs.” Actually, my co-worker and I were talking about how he was looking after another co-worker’s pets while they were out of town.

In the empty restaurant, they had overheard a few random words and pieced together their own little puzzle that my co-worker and I had nothing better to do than talk about them (which says volumes about their self-image, I suppose). She unloads on our manager, who doesn’t believe for a second that my co-worker and I would even think, much less say, anything like that about these women. Knowing there has obviously been some misunderstanding, he calls us over, and I proceed to explain how we were having a conversation about a co-worker’s pets.

I swear I saw a look of embarrassment flash over her eyes, but she just continued flipping out. My co-worker and I left the scene so the manager could cool her down, but after calling us rude names for the better part of 5 minutes she eventually just walked out without paying. Her friends followed her out a minute or two later, saying they aren’t paying for her meal.

 

#13 Do The Math

I once had a shareholder complain that they only got their quarterly statement every three months.

 

 

#14 Cheesehead

I once worked at a grocery store and often worked at the customer service counter, which typically handles refunds, exchanges, complaints, and other odds and ends (like cigarettes and lottery tickets). This man comes up with a block of cheese still in its package. I ask how can I help him. Then, our conversation goes something like this:

Customer: This is the wrong cheese.

Me: All right. Would you like to exchange it for another kind of cheese or would you prefer a refund?

Customer: I don’t want it.

Me: Ok, I’ll put through the refund for you. [I proceed to take the cheese, enter the refund into the computer, and hold out the money we owe him]

Customer: What? Where’s my cheese? I don’t want a refund.

Me: So, you want your cheese back?

Customer: Yes.

[I proceed to ring the cheese back into the computer, put the money back in the till, and give him his cheese back]

Customer: Where’s my money?

Me: You said you wanted your cheese instead of a refund, so I rang it through again.

Customer: But it’s the wrong kind of cheese.

Me: So, you want to exchange it?

Customer: No. I don’t want to bother with it. I’m just telling you it’s the wrong kind.

Me: So…what do you want me to do?

This still perplexes me, but he ended up throwing a little hissy fit and took his wrong cheese home again.

 

#15 Old Faithful

I was in Yellowstone on a family vacation. For those that don’t know, there is a geyser there called “Old Faithful” whose big claim to fame is the fact that it rather regularly goes off about every 90 minutes. As such, the Parks Service has a sign with an estimate of when it will be going off next.

On this particular day, the geyser was about 15 minutes late and there were NUMEROUS people at the information desk to complain about it as if they have some sort of button that they simply forgot to press.

 

#16 Instructions Not Included

When I worked for a company that liquidated OEM Ford parts I sold a set of factory Ford floormats on eBay. The buyer sent us a psychotic and ranting email that we’re all idiots for not including the instructions.

For a set of floormats.

 

#17 No Super Sizing

We ran out of medium-sized fountain drink cups at the place I work at, so we were giving out large ones instead for the price of a medium. A lady flipped out and demanded that she get the drink for free since it wasn’t the size that she wanted.

might_be_a_bird

Clayton Parker @flickr

#18 Photoshop

A woman wanted me fired from my job because she thought I photoshopped extra freckles onto the model in her picture. Why would I do that? She said I did it to deliberately make her mad when she was going through a family crisis. I had never met her before! So my manager told her that he was sorry she was having a bad day, but to get out of his store.

 

#19 Computer Genius

I used to work at Staples when a customer called and complained the disc drive in their new laptop wasn’t reading any discs. I asked a few questions over the phone like “Is the disc upside down?” and “Does the disc work in other computers?” She yells at me, “I think I know what I’m doing! I’m not an idiot! I want this fixed!” So I tell her to come in and we can replace it since it’s under the 14-day return policy.

So she comes into the store and puts the laptop on the counter saying it doesn’t work. I asked, “Can you just show me what you’re doing so I can make sure?”

She turns on the laptop, opens the disc tray, puts the CD on top. She doesn’t even snap it into the tray; just lays it flat on top and says “See! It doesn’t work! I want a new one!” I snap it into the tray, close it, and tell her, “Your laptop is fine.” I was so dumbstruck and walked away. My co-worker standing next to me had to finish it up.

 

#20 Wrong Order

I was managing a restaurant years ago, and a woman came in complaining that her three prime rib dinners with baked potatoes she got for takeout last night was disgusting and made her whole family sick.

The hostess called me over and I verified what she said. Then I had to inform her that we have never sold prime rib, or baked potatoes, and I was calling the police.

I’ve never seen someone run that fast in my life.

 

#21 A Few Degrees

While I was working at Starbucks a lady ordered a venti caramel macchiato with extra caramel and heated to 180 degrees. Long story short, she eventually came in with her own thermometer and showed us that her drink wasn’t at its optimal temperature.

The thermometer read 175 degrees.

 

 

#22 Ever Heard Of Biting?

When I was a delivery guy at a pizza joint, I get a phone call after I had just dropped off an order of our wings.

“These chicken wings are too big, I can’t fit them in my mouth.” “I mean, you could just take a bite out of them.” “Oh ok, yea I guess I’ll do that.”

 

 

#23 More Or Less

We had a woman come into our restaurant absolutely fuming and demanding a refund. Why? Because she couldn’t understand why a large meal cost more than a medium.

 

#24 Easy Fix

I used to work at Starbucks. A lady ordered a mocha and I forgot to add the mocha syrup, so I fixed it right away. She put it back on the bar a couple minutes later and said, “It doesn’t taste right. I want a new one.” I get started on it and she goes to the restroom. She gets back from the restroom before I’m done making it, but sees her old drink on the bar that I hadn’t taken back yet and thinks it’s her new one. She looks at it and says “Ah, it looks better already!” She takes a big drink and says, “Now see, that’s perfect” then leaves before I can tell her I didn’t do a thing.

 

#25 Broken Shirt

I work in a burger joint. One particular evening I had a table of college kids. Pretty standard for a Friday night. Anyways, I take their order. Very simple. Single no tomato, double with cheese add pickle, large fry, few shakes. Lastly a blonde girl orders one of our specialty burgers, the ‘portobello and swiss’. A while later I get the food dropped off and when I’m checking back on them the blonde, visibly upset, is demanding a different sandwich. I ask if there’s something wrong and she tells me her burger has mushrooms on it.

 

#26 Menu Customer Complaints

I worked at an Italian restaurant and received a complaint that we didn’t have a burger and fries option on the menu.

 

#27 She Was Way Out Of Line

When I was a cashier for my dad’s business, a lady was trying to cut in front of a line of about 8 people. I asked if she was in line, and she said: “No, I’m just moving my items around.” I told her “Whenever you’re ready just move over there” and pointed at the end of the line. She finagled in her cart for another two minutes and then came up to me and said: “I’m ready.” I said, “I’m sorry miss, but these people are in line.” She then goes off about how she’s been waiting for 20 minutes and demands to see my manager.

I look over and just said, “Hey dad, this woman wants to speak to you.”

My dad just said “You’re right, but don’t worry about it. If you get to the back of the line you’ll be out of here within a couple minutes.” As she starts walking to the back of the line he quips “Just like they taught you in kindergarten.”

 

#28 I’m Pretty Sure This Defies The Laws Of Math

I worked at Burger King in high school. I will never forget this. I was on drive-thru one night, and this lady orders a “large vanilla shake, in a medium cup.” I ask if she meant a “medium shake, in a large cup,” seeing as how I cannot put more liquid in a container than it will hold. She gets INFURIATED and drives up to the window. Screaming at me for not listening to her. In a loud, slow tone, like she’s talking to a deaf person, “IIII. WWWAAANNNTTT. AAAAA. LLLLLAAAARRRRGGGGEEEE. VVVVAAAANNNNIIIIILLLLLAAAAAA. SSSSSHHHHHAAAAAKKKKEEEE. IIIINNNN. AAAAA. MMMMEEEDDDDIIIUUUMMM. CCCCUUUUPPPPPP.” I almost got fired that night.

 

#29 It’s All In The Mind, I Guess

Not really a customer complaint, but I take care of my grandma, who is 101, and she always sends her soup back saying it’s too cold. When it is brought back re-heated, she promptly puts 3 tablespoons of ice/water and stirs them in to cool it down… It’s adorable.

 

#30 That’s Not How Purchases Work

A woman bought a white shirt. She then spilled red soda onto the shirt. To fix the stain she used a tide-to-go pen. She rubbed so hard it tore a hole in the fabric. Her husband tried to return it after they stained and tore the garment claiming that it must have been a manufacturing problem. No. Sir. That’s not how it works.

 

#31 Sounds Like Foreshadowing To Me

I had a young girl hand me her engagement ring and asked if I see anything in her trillion (triangular cut) diamond. I saw nothing. She asked if I could see the devil. I looked at it again and saw nothing. She then told me you could see it better on a cell phone picture. She takes a picture and hands me the phone with the picture. I see nothing and apologize. She says okay and moves on. Four years later I see her again, divorced. Maybe the devil was in there.

 

#32 Time For A Bowl Of Rice

When I worked at AT&T Mobility, I got this quite a few times:

Customer: My phone stopped working as soon as I left your store yesterday. I didn’t have time to come back in until now.

Me: Okay…

Obviously, I take off the back, pull the battery and find the water indicator is completely red.

Me: Well, your phone isn’t working because your phone has liquid damage.

Customer: No, you gave me the phone like that. I never got it wet.

 

#33 Bring A Sweater

I once had a customer complain to me that the aisle was too cold… on the refrigerated aisle of a supermarket.

 

#34 Ice On The Bottom, Please

When I worked at Sonic, a girl once ordered an ocean water, easy on the ice. When I gave her the drink, she opened it and yelled, “I said easy on the ice….why is the ice on top?” She then goes, “I want the ice on the bottom.”

I told her, “I’m sorry ma’am but ice floats.”

She was still mad and just drove off.

Im2real4u

classpass.com

#35 Employees Are Always Wrong

We had a sale on organic cabbage for 85 cent a pound, and a week later a woman came in claiming we had our cabbage on sale for 25 cents a pound but she had been charged 85 cents a pound. I told her it had been on sale for 85 cents a pound but I would call the produce department to find out for sure, and sure enough, it had been on sale for 85 cents a pound, and now it was about $1.79 a pound.

She wouldn’t have it.

She threw the biggest fit ever! “Even if I’m wrong, you should give me a dollar back! The customer is always right!” And I’m just like, what? My assistant manager overhears her yelling (since the entire store could hear her yelling) and decides to appease her by giving her a dollar and a $10 gift card for her troubles. The assistant manager later tells me that no one should have a bad day over a dollar.

You know, unless you’re employed by the store.

 

#36 Horse What?

When I began working in a grocery store, a woman complained to my manager because I did not know where she could find horse meat. Who even eats horse meat?!

 

#37 10×20 = 20×10

Working at a hardware store, overhear my manager and an older lady’s conversation an aisle over.

Manager: “Can I help you ma’am?”

Lady: “I hope so, you’re all out of my size of air filter!”

Manager:” Which size was that ma’am?”

Lady: “10×20”

Manager: “Let me see here.”

Manager looks around the shelf. “Here you go.” Hands the Lady a 20″x10″ air filter.

Lady: “I said I need 10″x20″!”

Manager keeps quiet, takes back air filter, holds it out in front of him, rotates it 90 degrees, and hands it back to her with a grin.

Lady leaves in silence, with the 20″x10″.

 

#38 STILL Not Hot Enough?

I was a cook at a restaurant. I’m just working at my station like every other night and this ticket comes up. Pasta, steak, well-done, club sandwich; nothing out of the ordinary. Then the server comes up, “Hey, the guy at table X wants his steak extra well done.” Alright, sure. Throw the steak on, check the temp and the squishiness. Everything seems in order. Order up! Five minutes later, the steak comes back. “Hey, he says it’s not well done enough.” Take a look at the steak where he cut into it. It’s brown all the way through.

I shrug it off, five more minutes on the grill. Cut it open on another part of the steak, ensuring that it is brown all the way through and all flavor has escaped this ruined piece of meat. Order up! Comes back right away, “He still says it’s not well done enough”. Alright, bro. In to the deep fryer it goes. Ten minutes in the deep fryer. Pat it down with some paper towel. Order up! The server comes back, “Hey, he said it was the best steak he ever had.”

 

#39 Sugar-Free Payback

I worked at a local ice cream store in high school and we always had some pretentious customers. On summer afternoon a lady came up to me and showed me that her ice cream had melted and wanted another one free of charge.

I gave her another cone, but this time I made it sugar free. She had it coming.

 

#40 Not My Daughter!

I had a woman yell at me, questioning why I had kicked her daughter out of the hot tub. I had to explain to her that I caught her daughter being intimate with her boyfriend in the tub. She wouldn’t have any of it, “MY DAUGHTER IS A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL!”

At this point the whole building is watching her and my manager comes over and offers to let her watch the security footage of her daughter.

 

 

#41 She Can’t Swim

Lady: “Why won’t you let my child swim in the deep end”

Me: “Because she can’t swim”

 

#42 Super Zero

I work at a local Walmart and we were hosting a pre-screening of the Man of Steel and I got to wear a full-sized superman cape for the week beforehand to help advertise it.

I had a customer complain that unless I was wearing the entire costume I was being unprofessional and shouldn’t be allowed to wear the cape.

 

#43 Yeah, No

I had a guy order a cheeseburger for his kid, take a bite out of it in front of me, then start a fit that the burger was “bitten into.” He kept demanding free food for it, and I kept telling him no. Like, really?

 

#44 I Can’t See It

I work at a hotel. Guest checks into room:

“This room is supposed to have an ocean view. I can’t see the ocean.”

“Sir, that’s because it is night time. I assure you the ocean is there.

 

#45 I Did What?

I was fired from my job at a popular fast food chain because I rejected the use of a coupon that was 6 years old! My manager didn’t love how I dealt with the situation, but come on, it was 6 years old, why did you even try!

 

#46 Rude Taxpayers

I work at a library. A patron comes in and knocks books off their shelves. He turn to me and says, “PICK THEM UP! I PAY YOUR SALARY!”

 

#47 Blue Is Blue

I worked at a very fancy steakhouse in the heart of New York City. One night I was serving a table and a certain celebrity ordered a steak and requested it to be cooked blue. They sent it back saying it was barely cooked.

You ordered it blue! Come on.

 

#48 I Don’t Think We Can Help You Here…

The ice cream was too cold. ICE cream.

 

#49 You’re Late

I once managed the front desk of a recreational center, and this one parent yelled at me for a class starting without their kid.

They were 15 minutes late.

 

#50 You Froze Them?

I work the customer service booth and I had a lady try to return potato chips that had expired and tasted bad. She claimed they shouldn’t have tasted badly since she kept them frozen in the freezer.

 

#51 Coffee Crazy

I used to work at a small coffee shop. A lady who had just been served her order came running back to the counter, demanding to speak to someone. Although I wasn’t the one who prepared her coffee, she decided to unleash her fury on me. Apparently, her coffee was so hot that she had burned the roof her of mouth a bit when she took a sip.

She even threatened to sue us. Not having any of it, I sighed, handed back her coffee to her and told to her to read the label on the cup: “Caution! this drink is hot,” it read. This made her even more furious. She told me to get my manager, to which I replied, “I am the manager.” By the time she finished blowing her top off at me, her coffee had cooled down to the perfect temperature. She just grabbed her cup and left while I rolled my eyes and went back to work.

 

 

#52 No Time For Games

A woman came into my store complaining about a product we didn’t even sell. She was upset because we refused to process her return since we didn’t even carry the item she was trying to give back. I simply said, “Ma’am, this is a hairdryer. We sell cellphones.” Apparently, she didn’t care and still demanded that we give her money back. That’s when I had the final straw. I motioned for a nearby security guard and he began to approach. The lady immediately stopped her rant and, out of what seemed like fear, she complied with the big, buff security guard, who escorted her off the premises.

 

Edited by Mindovermaster
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Nick H.    9,829

Aren't these from the website Clients From Hell, or Not Always Right? Some of them sound very familiar...not that it makes them any less funny. We've all been in these kind of situations.

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Brandon H    3,019

some of these are great; especially the steak in the deep fryer one :rofl:

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Mindovermaster    2,122
4 hours ago, Nick H. said:

Aren't these from the website Clients From Hell, or Not Always Right? Some of them sound very familiar...not that it makes them any less funny. We've all been in these kind of situations.

No, its from Humaverse.

 

4 hours ago, Brandon H said:

some of these are great; especially the steak in the deep fryer one :rofl:

I like the girl trying to sell her hair dryer at a cell phone place.

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+Human.Online    8,416

They are from a number of sources. These do the rounds as frequently as:

 

• These are real insurance claim comments

• This is a real conversation between a battleship and a light house

 

They get copied, amended, republished all the time... because they are pretty funny :)

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