Leprechaun Magic


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So there's this poor little Irish family - a father, a mother, a 26-year-old son, a 21-year-old son, and an 18-year-old son.

They live in a tiny little cottage down by the river. They have one cow, and their only source of income is the money they make off of selling the cow's milk. It's the only thing keeping this family alive.

So, one day, the father wakes up, and discovers that the cow is dead. Unable to deal with this, he kills himself in the barn.

So then the mother wakes up, and discovers that both the cow and her husband are dead. Unable to deal with this, she goes down to the river and drowns herself.

So then the 26-year-old son wakes up. He sees that his father and the cow are dead, and then he goes down to the river and sees that his mother is dead. So, you know, he's not having a great day so far. But then he meets a lady leprechaun down by the river, and she decides to make him an offer. She tells him, "If you can make love to me 10 times in a row without stopping, I'll use my leprechaun magic to bring back everyone who died, including the cow."

So the 26-year-old considers it, and he thinks, "yeah, I'm young, I can probably do this". So he accepts her offer, and he tries, and he fails, and then the leprechaun kills him, too.

So then the 21-year-old son wakes up. Cow's dead, father's dead, mother's dead, brother's dead. So, not a great day so far. But he also meets the lady leprechaun, and she gives him an offer, too, saying, "If you can make love to me 20 times in a row without stopping, I'll use my leprechaun magic to bring back everyone who died, including the cow, and I'll transform the tiny cottage you live in into a mansion."

And the 21-year-old considers it. Like his brother, he also thinks himself young and capable -- so he accepts her offer, and he tries, and he fails. And the leprechaun kills him, too.

So then, finally, the 18-year-old son wakes up. Everyone in his family is dead. So, not a great morning so far. But he also meets the lady leprechaun, and she also gives him an offer -- "If you can make love to me 40 times in a row without stopping, I'll use my leprechaun magic to bring back everyone who died, including the cow, I'll transform the tiny cottage you live in into a mansion, and I'll grant you one more wish -- and it can be anything you want."

But the 18-year-old son stops and says, "Wait? 40 times in a row? That might not be a good idea. I mean, are you sure you'll even survive that?


The cow didn't."


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