placing pizza order


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qdave

Operator: "Thank you for calling (the Kosher) Pizza Hut.

May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, ah ..., it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your double cheese Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Darn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in amount outstanding on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.

Customer: "How about a Diet Coke"

Operator: "Sorry Sir, but you've been on Weight Watchers for two years and haven't lost an ounce, that disqualifies you.

Customer: "#x@!*%#@% Is there anything you DON'T KNOW"

Operator: "Yes Sir, if you'll be getting a Pizza "

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peterish

the poor ****** got OWNED

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EmuZombie
Operator: the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

They don't have caller id in 2006?...

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kombolcha

lol.. very nice post.. enjoyed reading it :)

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petroid

LOL... that was hillarious! It'd suck if ordering pizza ever became like that. Even worse would be ordering a hooker =/...

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ThunderRiver

Another fear of "well connected" society heh

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digital vibe

Nice one LOL!

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BxBoy

funny now.. but it won't be soo funny in 2006..

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yudi_lks

Hahaha..

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John
funny now.. but it won't be soo funny in 2006..

Because none of that will have happened, so most likely the joke will re-emerge with a different date, like 2010 or 2015. Just far enough ahead in the future to be possible, but nevertheless, extremely unlikely...

BTW, old and not that funny :pinch:

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davemania

pretty funny (Y)

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nwBen

/me is still in stitches on the floor :laugh:

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X Statik Process

Old and still funny.

:laugh:

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akaladis

lol :) first time i read this :D

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ecotrojan

:D

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Warning

Damn! looks like someone has invented the time machine before me! And the phone!

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technics

funny joke, i didnt expect the joke to be this funny judging by the topic..

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HoochieMamma

LOL pretty good

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Steven

lol!!!!!! :woot:

Operator: "Thank you for calling (the Kosher) Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, ah ..., it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your double cheese Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Darn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in amount outstanding on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.

Customer: "How about a Diet Coke"

Operator: "Sorry Sir, but you've been on Weight Watchers for two years and haven't lost an ounce, that disqualifies you.

Customer: "#x@!*%#@% Is there anything you DON'T KNOW"

Operator: "Yes Sir, if you'll be getting a Pizza "

//if you don't feel like scrolling read that instead. :)

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ForsakenDecay

lol!...That's kinda creepy though, the pizza place knowing everything about your life :blink:

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Blues

I like the part about being behind in yer car payments but having your bike being paid up. Only because I used to know a guy that was 3 months behind on like each his and his wife's car payments... yet for some reason his motorcycle was paid off for like the next 7 months.

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Blondewolvobabe

LOL funny. :)

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