slimshady89 Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 alright this is one of my sides you wont see quite often Suicial feels like pain runs through each one of my veins, killin blood cells wantin to reach my brain feelings that could drive one insane, but the powers I possess are inane irate, bane, disturbed, deseperate, vain, , perturbed lifes made me a misfit, tired of the miss hits, seems as if when this hand clenches the results split-fists so, mama dont be sad if u ever find me on my bed with slit wrists and when its time for the mourning, dont be wandering why I left without a warning because I did, you were just to busy ignoring, and in my own home makin me feel foreign It Hurts as I put words to this paper, tears roll down my eyes everytime I see u huggin someone else a part of me dies it feels like a thousand knives piercing thru my heart, I cant take it anymore its gradually tearin me apart I find it dificult to carry on but I must preservere why cant u see everything u ever wanted is rite here its juss u thats nowhere near, but I love u more than these words can describe not being wit u makes me wonder why I am still alive any breath could be my last but I juss wish it was the one before I kno u acknowledge my love but u juss pretend to ignore every second I am awake, it seems useless cuz I am nothin without u every second I am asleep, I am in heaven cuz I dream bout u I know I am gonna die of this pain one of these nights I want myself dead but I am juss too scared to commit suicides wish I could light up a blunt and forget bout u for a minute I am sure I'd prolly hallucinate bout u so theres no sense in-it all u ever gave me was more pain then one could possible bare made my life a living hell - made me live in regrets n despair now Im a Atheist- if there was god, he'd hear at least one of my prayers but dont worry I dont hate you, I hate myself, for loving you it hurts cause I know the truth, I kno I will never have you Life's Games now he's evolved into a beast that never strikes life's taken the best of him still he refuses to fight with a tear in his eye he goes to sleep every night every cloud has a silver shining he wanders wheres "mine" wonders why he should go on, asks god for a sign Silence; he gets his answer, he gives up on life decides to end it for once n for all, so he grabs a knife takes a stab.. cries in pain, falls to the ground, faints, he restrains, deaths what he wanted, deaths what he acquaints Any feedback is appreciated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orestes Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 evolve your writing out of the teenage angst phase. Death, blood, suicide, depression are WAY over done and makes for very uninteresting poetry. Ohter than that...A+ for effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adam.sproul Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Quite good, very emotive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slimshady89 Posted June 30, 2004 Author Share Posted June 30, 2004 thanks for the feedback,.. I am planning on writting a lot more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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