Shifty Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 The Story of Jake 2.0 Concept Design - Parents date and marry Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply *Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking. Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined *Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized. tweaking motor code. Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother Life Changelog: v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code. can get some words out. v2.0.2 - speech code improved. upgraded motor skills for walking. v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit" v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills. patched speech bug aka "why" bug. v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking) v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1 v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it v2.16 - new feature, Driving!! v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls. Multiple patches needed. v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit. v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available. v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch. v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds. v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2 v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubbabyte Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 The Story of Jake 2.0Concept Design - Parents date and marry Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply *Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking. Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined *Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized. tweaking motor code. Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother Life Changelog: v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code. can get some words out. v2.0.2 - speech code improved. upgraded motor skills for walking. v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit" v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills. patched speech bug aka "why" bug. v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking) v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1 v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it v2.16 - new feature, Driving!! v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls. Multiple patches needed. v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit. v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available. v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch. v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds. v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2 v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean. 585421841[/snapback] did you just make that up? if so, you have some imagination skillz man.. either way that was incredibly funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insanekiwi Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 heh wtf :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deaf Spacker Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 He's gonna have some problems in life :pinch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vice Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 that poor kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin-uk Veteran Posted February 6, 2005 Veteran Share Posted February 6, 2005 lol thats not nice :pinch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keldyn Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Wow. Those parents need their heads examined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KXM Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 When my wife gets pregnant, I think I'll codename it Copland, just in case there is a miscarriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kombolcha Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 The Story of Jake 2.0Concept Design - Parents date and marry Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply *Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking. Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined *Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized. tweaking motor code. Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother Life Changelog: v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code. can get some words out. v2.0.2 - speech code improved. upgraded motor skills for walking. v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit" v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills. patched speech bug aka "why" bug. v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking) v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1 v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it v2.16 - new feature, Driving!! v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls. Multiple patches needed. v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit. v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available. v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch. v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds. v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2 v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean. 585421841[/snapback] :rofl: :rofl: excellent :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishX Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Isnt this really old and lame? 585420839[/snapback] No. This story is about how some systems can't handle or don't know what to do with the boy's name. Yes, the kid is a year old. This was on here (edit : or something extremely similar) a year ago. Don't know why is would surface again. It was lame the first time..... 585420909[/snapback] It didn't "surface again." Read previous reply to Hypoxiaicon. Either way, if you have nothing contstructive to add (or you think it's just "lame") don't reply at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishX Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 The Story of Jake 2.0585421841[/snapback] You've GOT to send that to the kids parents. See if you can find an email address for them. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biorK Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Isnt this really old and lame? 585420839[/snapback] I think I've read this a long time ago also. Although, I gotta admit. I would like to meet Jake 2.0 when he's older :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+M2Ys4U Subscriber¹ Posted February 7, 2005 Subscriber¹ Share Posted February 7, 2005 The Story of Jake 2.0Concept Design - Parents date and marry Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply *Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking. Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined *Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized. tweaking motor code. Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother Life Changelog: v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code. can get some words out. v2.0.2 - speech code improved. upgraded motor skills for walking. v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit" v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills. patched speech bug aka "why" bug. v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking) v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1 v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it v2.16 - new feature, Driving!! v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls. Multiple patches needed. v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit. v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available. v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch. v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds. v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2 v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean. 585421841[/snapback] hahahaha :rofl: :rofl: RTM.. classic! I agree with WishX, you have to send that to the parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_I am Reptar Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 RETURN THREAD RETURN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pajter Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 RETURN THREAD RETURN! 585910684[/snapback] WTF is your problem? :blink: :rolleyes: :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orange Battery Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 The link at the beginning doesn't even work anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L3thal Veteran Posted May 13, 2005 Veteran Share Posted May 13, 2005 The link at the beginning doesn't even work anymore 585910759[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webeagle12 Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 RETURN THREAD RETURN! 585910684[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malisk Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 WTF is your problem? :blink:?:rolleyes::?:no:o: 585910729[/snapback] Probably a horny adolescent searching for "sex" on Neowin, got frustrated that the resulting thread wasn't a picture of a naked woman and decided to take out his frustration in some pointless way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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