It's hard to believe these people had sex!


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The Story of Jake 2.0

Concept Design - Parents date and marry

Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse

Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code

Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking.

Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized. tweaking motor code.

Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good

RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother

Life Changelog:

v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code. can get some words out.

v2.0.2 - speech code improved. upgraded motor skills for walking.

v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit"

v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills. patched speech bug aka "why" bug.

v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking)

v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden

v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added

v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1

v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it

v2.16 - new feature, Driving!!

v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls. Multiple patches needed.

v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit.

v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available.

v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch.

v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds.

v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!!

v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2

v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase.

I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean.

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The Story of Jake 2.0

Concept Design - Parents date and marry

Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse

Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code

Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking.

Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized.  tweaking motor code.

Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good

RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother

Life Changelog:

v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code.  can get some words out.

v2.0.2 - speech code improved.  upgraded motor skills for walking.

v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit"

v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills.  patched speech bug aka "why" bug.

v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking)

v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden

v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added

v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1

v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it

v2.16 - new feature, Driving!!

v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls.  Multiple patches needed.

v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit.

v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available.

v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch.

v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds.

v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! 

v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2

v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. 

I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean.

585421841[/snapback]

did you just make that up? if so, you have some imagination skillz man.. either way that was incredibly funny.

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The Story of Jake 2.0

Concept Design - Parents date and marry

Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse

Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code

Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking.

Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized.  tweaking motor code.

Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good

RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother

Life Changelog:

v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code.  can get some words out.

v2.0.2 - speech code improved.  upgraded motor skills for walking.

v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit"

v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills.  patched speech bug aka "why" bug.

v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking)

v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden

v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added

v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1

v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it

v2.16 - new feature, Driving!!

v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls.  Multiple patches needed.

v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit.

v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available.

v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch.

v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds.

v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! 

v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2

v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. 

I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean.

585421841[/snapback]

:rofl: :rofl: excellent :laugh:

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Isnt this really old and lame?

585420839[/snapback]

No. This story is about how some systems can't handle or don't know what to do with the boy's name.

Yes, the kid is a year old. This was on here (edit : or something extremely similar) a year ago. Don't know why is would surface again. It was lame the first time.....

585420909[/snapback]

It didn't "surface again." Read previous reply to Hypoxiaicon.

Either way, if you have nothing contstructive to add (or you think it's just "lame") don't reply at all.

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The Story of Jake 2.0

585421841[/snapback]

You've GOT to send that to the kids parents. See if you can find an email address for them. :D

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Isnt this really old and lame?

585420839[/snapback]

I think I've read this a long time ago also.

Although, I gotta admit. I would like to meet Jake 2.0 when he's older :)

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The Story of Jake 2.0

Concept Design - Parents date and marry

Design Meeting - Parents have intercourse

Coding Stage - Sperm and Egg meet and compile DNA code

Compiling Stage - Cells divide and multiply

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs procedures complete and running, bone structure needs massive recoding and tweaking.

Alpha Stage (v0.4a) Fetus takes shape and more tweaking. sex is determined

*Changelog Updated - Internal organs completed and 100% running. all appendages finalized.  tweaking motor code.

Beta Stage (v0.4~0.9) Fetus now contains Complex procedures and subroutines, testing motor code, good

RTM - Jake 2.0 is Released To Mother

Life Changelog:

v2.0.1 - tweaked speech code.  can get some words out.

v2.0.2 - speech code improved.  upgraded motor skills for walking.

v2.0.2.5 - found bug in speech code: "terrible two's exploit"

v2.0.3 - upgrade cognative skills.  patched speech bug aka "why" bug.

v2.0.4 - firmware upgrade to fix bad behavior (lots of spanking)

v2.0.5 - development assisted by new developer, Kindergarden

v2.0.6 - new reading and writing functions added

v2.0.6 ~ 2.12 various upgrades to math, reading and writing functions, aka SP1

v2.13 - virus "W32.ChickenPox.B" antivirus detected and quarantined it

v2.16 - new feature, Driving!!

v2.17 - massive security exploit, Girls.  Multiple patches needed.

v2.18 - exploit infects with new virus, "W32.Herpes.B" no known fix for exploit.

v2.20 - Security Alert - Marijuana exploit, patch available.

v2.23 - Security Alert - patch opens new exploits, cocaine and crack, download patch.

v2.23.6 - Jake3.0 in design phase, investing partner backs out due to lack of Jake Funds.

v2.23 ~ 2.27 Security Alert - Download all patches to fix various drugs and alcohol exploits!! 

v2.28 - Judgement code tweaked, aka SP2

v2.30 - Jake3.0 in design phase. 

I was going to have Jake2.0 die with a BSOD, but that would be pretty mean.

585421841[/snapback]

hahahaha :rofl: :rofl:

RTM.. classic!

I agree with WishX, you have to send that to the parents.

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  • 3 months later...
WTF is your problem? :blink:?:rolleyes::?:no:o:

585910729[/snapback]

Probably a horny adolescent searching for "sex" on Neowin, got frustrated that the resulting thread wasn't a picture of a naked woman and decided to take out his frustration in some pointless way...

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