Student Council President comes out as X dresser


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Jun. 26, 2005. 01:00 AM

WHEN MATT BECAME JADE

Matt H. was elected president of Northern Secondary School last spring. Seven months later, he acted on a lifelong desire to live as a girl. Jade's mother embraced her choice. Her father took her shopping for women's clothes. But it would be another thing entirely to come out in high school.

Many at Northern Secondary School were surprised when Matt H. announced last year that he was running for student council president. A somewhat lonely boy, he didn't fit the model of the popular, extroverted student leader. Everyone seemed to know the outgoing president. Matt was more reserved ? he liked playing on-line games and writing. He was on the ninth revision of a fantasy novel.

Everyone told him he didn't have a hope of winning. But he got the signatures needed for a nomination. For his election campaign that spring, he made a funny video, an instant teenage classic that showed him drinking a smoothie made from everything in his refrigerator. On stage at an assembly, where he stood tallat 6 foot, 4 inchesb>, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, he made a short satirical speech that parodied campaign promises: "I'll prevent a gigantic meteor from crashing into the school," he boasted. He won a standing ovation. It was a narrow margin ? 16 votes ? but he won the electIn December, just seven months later, students and teachers saw an entirely different school president. The acting principal, Tony Kerins, sent teachers a letter saying that Matt had made a "gender presentation decision" and would soon be dressing as a girl at school. For the rest of the year, Matt would be known as Jade.e.

The staff wasn't asked to prepare students. The thinking was that Jade should not be seen as an exhibit and exposed to an open forum about her change. We have this person who is one of usus," Kerins said, and we are not going to have that person hurt or embarrasseded."

Just before the Christmas break, Jade chose her outfit for her first school day as a girl ? a ruffled knee-length black skirt, pink T-shirt and black jacket and a dark wig that flipped up at the ends. The next day, she began life as Jade.

She was escorted to her classes by Dale Callender, a counsellor from Delisle Youth Services, a dropout-prevention centre at the school that's expanded into many parts of student life. Callender, a neat, compact man, in his mid-30s, is a respected figure, immersed in school culture ? he's like an icon here, one student said ? and there's usually a gaggle of teenagers waiting outside his third-floor office.

He stayed by Jade's side all day, to answer questions from other students and to convey subtly, but firmly, that no nonsense would be tolerated. He and Jade heard a few snickers and saw some startled looks. But that was all. The curious ones came to Callender later with their questions: Is this for real? Why is he doing this? Is he gay?

...

The language around the change Jade is making is fluid, and often confusing. "Transgender" is the word Jade uses, and it describes those who feel uncomfortable in the body they were born with. "Trans," as in trans-teen or trans-youth, is a newer term that includes transgender as well as transsexual ? those who want to change gender using hormonal treatment and possibly surgery. "Trans" may also include those who don't fit either gender and want to present themselves as "trans," a third identity, neither male nor female.

There are three child and adolescent gender-identity clinics in tonly one in North Americath America is at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, where 500 children and 300 teens have been assessed for "gender identity disorder" or "gender dysphoria," which means unhappiness, since the mid-1970s.

In the past two years, the Toronto clinic has seen a spike in teen referrals. Fifty children and teens are on the waiting list for assessment at CAMH, says Ken Zucker, the psychologist who heads the clinic. Zucker and his colleagues have given a lot of thought to the reasons for the increase. One possibility, they say, is an explosion of interest in the media ? many popular televisionseries, from Law and Order to E.R., have included episodes with transgender characters. Young people may also be turning to gender change as a solution to other problems; a girl may think she won't be bullied if she dresses like a boy. Most controversial, Zucker says, is the effect of non-sexist child-rearing methods. Zucker demurs from tAs if raising them in a more diffuse way causes them to be more uncertain about genderabout gender," he says.

Gender identity develops between ages 2 and 4, the result of genetic inheritance, exposure to hormones during fetal development and possibly environmental factors. But the onset of puberty ? with its biological changes and development of sexual curiosity ? can push children struggling with gender identity into crisis, says Dr. Krista Lemke, a psychiatrist at Whitby Mental Health Centre. "As a younger child your body isn't clearly that male or female. With clothes on you can present either way." Suddenly, that changes.

In a world unforgiving of gender ambiguity, suicide attempts, drug use and running away from home are not uncommon when transgender teens don't have a lot of support. Of the 10 teenagers he'd seen the previous day, Zucker noted, seven had dropped out of school.

Gender is, after all, a fundamental part of identity. We recognize people by their sex; our first descriptions are often of gender ? "I met a man on the elevator ... A woman I know ..." When these neatly organized divisions are upset, our response can be visceral.

Changing such a profound part of one's being may seem inconceivable to those who haven't encountered gender identity questions before. That young people choose to change, no matter how frightening it may be, Lemke says, "speaks to how strong that internal sense is."

Teens deciding to make the transition first do an internal audit, says Steve Solomon, a social worker in the Toronto District School Board's human sexuality program. "Will it be risky and make me more vulnerable?" he asks. "Will it give me more integrity and a sense of `This is who I am,' a sense of completeness and honesty? They weigh this against risk. If they end up being true to themselves, it's similar to the way gay and lesbian youth come out. I've seen the stress lines go from their faces."

He's worked with about a dozen trans-teens who have come out at school, and others who haven't. "It makes we wonder, for every student I get to meet, how many more keep it to themselves?"

...

At home, Jade was one of the lucky ones. But no one was sure how the school would accept her transition.

Northern Secondary, which celebrated its 75th anniversary this spring ? a banner with the slogan "Hail, dear old Northern" hangs in the hallway ? is described as one of the most diverse schools in Toronto. Though it's comfortably set in North Toronto, students come from across the city ? 400 were refused admission because enrolment was full ? for the variety of programs offered. There are 200 courses, catering to gifted students, students with learning disabilities, those with hearing impairment; besides a strong academic program there is also an applied program and a large co-op placement. It was one of the first to have a gay-straight student alliance.

"Sixty-one kids played the final in junior football ? they won the city championship," says principal Bob Milne, who was on a leave when Matt made his transition. "A hundred and fifty kids were playing rugby. They don't cut the teams. One hundred kids were in the school play. There is a place for everybody. Any kid in this school can start a club ? we have a juggling club, a Danny de Vito club, a baseball-card collectors club."

Though Jade had been on Northern's track team and was a distance runner, hcomputers and playing the World of Warcraft, a multi-player online game in which players create their own characters. Jade says she's drawn by the competitive aspect of the game, where characters are perpetually at war. ("I play Alliance and work to eradicate the Horde.")k to eradicate the Horde.") But it's one thing to not be a joiner, and quite another to make a radical change that's bound to set you apart. Jade's parents were terrified someone would hurt her. The school's preparations, which took about three months, included consultation with Steve Solomon, the school board social worker, and with Toronto police, who suggested Jade consider alternative routes to school for the first days and carry a cellphone.

A few staff wondered why Matt couldn't wait until university, why he was exposing himself to danger and potential ridicule. "My response was, `Whenever is there a good time?'" Callender says. "She'd waited 17 years, who's to say she should wait until September?"

Adults understood the safety worries, but they had to learn about the complex world of transgender and how they could support Jade. "It was today's adults evolving with today's youth," Callender says.

After a day or so of thinking it over, acting principal Kerins sent out his letter to the staff. In it, he said Matt was a wonderful and courageous student who has the right to live as he chooses at sMatt will be as smart and funny and nice as before, except he will be dressing differently in order to feel more comfortable. It is our professional duty, as board employees, to support Matt to the best of our abilitiest to the best of our abilities."

Things became routine very quickly. When one sees Jade walk with her classmates, share candies before class, deftly direct a student senate meeting, first impressions of incongruence quickly give way. At Northern, there are students with orange hair, students in wheelchairs, gay students, students wearing absurd clothing. Now, there is also a student who still looks a little like a boy, but feels and dresses like a girl.

Jade admits she felt frightened that first day as she walked through the school. Yet fear was I felt I was just being comfortable for the first time. Moving through the hall, I thought, this is me. I was aware of others. I was very tuned in to placement and what was going on around me. There was some laughter. But no one came up to me directly no one cAt the end of the day it was kind of surreal. I never expected anything to happen after years of longing happen after years of longing."

Jade's position in the school raised certain questions. What part, for instance, should she play in public events? The day after she came out, she made a speech about Festivus, a fictitious alternative holiday on Seinfeld, at the school's December assembly. She was clearly nervous. "I sat in the audience, near the back," acNo one said anything where I was sitting. It was something to beholdng. It was something to behold."

In an interview with the school newspaper, Epigram, Jade answered the questions students may have been too polite to ask: what transgender meant, which washroom she used ? a staff washroom ? what Jade's sexual orientation was and would she have a sex change. "It's a common misconception that gender identity and sexual preference aIn reality most transgender people are still attracted to members of the opposite sexted to members of the opposite sex." She criticized the media for consistently portraying transgendering as comedy. "(It) is never shown in a good light."

At her first Student Administrative Council meeting, she invited questions from the group.

All of which helped her classmates. "With those straight answers from him, her, we could understand what she's going through and why she made those decisions," says Jennifer Lovering, a Grade 12 student, sitting outside school with friends after class.

This transparency seemed important. "She didn't try and hide it. She said, `This is what I'm going to do' ? so there was no target," says Matthew Worts, who, like other students, sometimes spontaneously switches pronouns midstream. "He didn't remove himself from hisEveryone thought of her as the same person ? she was hanging out with the same people just like she did before, she just changed her look did before, she just changed her look."

Boys on the football team, throwing a ball outside school on a recent afternoon, may not have understood or particularly liked Jade&It was kind of shocking, but you have to allow it of shocking, but you have to allow iSome guys said, `Oh, come on, why?' but they wouldn't say anything. They didn't want him to feel worse. But now, everyone seems fine with it. But now, everyone seems fine with it."

Some do feel the school president should more closely reflect the majority of students at Northern. "I don't know if he does that," Jesse Warfield says. "As a student, he has the right to express himself in his own way, but as a representative of the school ? maybe some things should have been brought forward in the campaign. I voted for Matt, not Jade." He adds, in a way that seemed typical of students interviewed: &A minor effort to have Jade removed from the presidency, impeached, really, didn't go anywherempeached, really, didn't go anywhere. When she spoke at the Grade 8 orientation, there was a bit of laughter in the auditorium, but the older students shot looks at the younger ones and the laughs faded. Kerins says the kids,Kids are incredible, as long as they feel they are heard. Where you get problems is when you pretend nothing is going on is when you pretend nothing is going on."

There were compromises. Jade joined her class on a school trip to France, rooming with a male student for the first week in a hotel. But the travel agent couldn't arrange a family for her to billet with. Jade seemed pleased to just go and ? she's a teenager, after all ? to skip out and come home a week early.

Jane Steelemore, chair of the parent council, says she received one phone call about Jade, from a parent asking if the council was going to "address" the issue. "My response was we didn't have an issue to address."

Jade's parents still worry for her safety ? "the unusual is always a visible target," Anne says, "but I don't worry every moment of the day anymore." Mostly, she is thankful for the goodness and goodwill that have been extended to Jade. "We live in the best city in the world." The schThere is extraordinary kindness and acceptance in this world, and we often don't expect itn this world, and we often don't expect it."

...

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentSe...id=968332188492

(it is a really long article, you'll need to login if you want to read it all. They accept bugmenot).

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