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Ashamed if your Child was gay?

Would you be ashamed if your child was gay?  

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Ritalin    1

stadsport:

wtf are you talking about man,

this is a DISCUSSION BOARD... to DISCUSS!

so because there are many people who say the opposite of what you say you're gonna stop? that's real good...

ANYWAY, about the gay thing... well i have plenty of gay friends and such, and it doesn't bother me unless they get "really gay" and then it makes me uncomfortable... Like at moments it's just too "feminin" and then it bothers me... But most of the time im fine by it... Oh yeah, and no making out and **** unless it's 2 hot chix, flame me...

Now, about my offspring being gay... well id want at least some of my children to start a family, and i dont believe in gay adoption. Would i be ashamed? well unless i dressed him up with skirts as a child and such, then no... i doubt id be embarassed unless he or she becomes one of those guys who dresses like a chick or girls who look like guys... those are just too much for me... if u look like everone else and ud rather sleep with people of the same sex... well i guess there's not much i can say? Even though i do think it's not "normal", but it's been like that forever, not much we can do...

Edited by Ritalin

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boogerjones    86

Side-stepping the issue of whether gayness is heriditary entirely, I don't see anything morally wrong if my future child were to turn out to be gay (whether through genetics, upbringing, some sort of subtle choice, etc.). Perhaps it's because I've been brought up in a socially pretty laissez-faire household (plus I live in California - what can I say? It's influenced me), but sexual orientation is a personal affair that doesn't bother me one way or another (though being gay is a bit less useful in terms of reproduction).

I would, however, be concerned about my child's future if he or she were to turn out to be gay, since there is still so much prejudice against gays, and I would worry that they would be discriminated against or harassed by those intolerant of their orientation. So in that sense, I would rather my child not be gay, but not because I believe it would be personally bad if they were, but in the sense that they would have a harder life if they were.

Actually, I will say one thing on the hereditary issue: there is no conclusive evidence that being gay is or is not hereditary. People cite studies, but a single study can show almost anything, and there just isn't the preponderence of evidence yet that would need to exist statistically to prove beyond a reasonable doubt a link between genetics and sexual orientation. Intuitively, though, it would seem like tendency toward sexual orientation is neither purely genetic nor purely societal or choice-based (actually, I would tend to reject the assertion that sexual orientation is purely by choice, since there is absolutely no evidence to support that logic; there is, however, a strong case that societal upbringing may be the deciding factor), but a mixture of the two. The troubling question is, if upbringing does come into play, is it ethical to try to supress gay tendencies through upbringing?

Very good post. Unfortunately, people who think the way you do are a minority.

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soothsayer    0

Null Vote for me. Myself being raised in a Christian household I would lean towards being ashamed if my child was gay. Let me clarify by saying that I would be ashamed of myself for probably doing something wrong. I would not hate/disown or love my child any less. To quote C.S. Lewis I would hate the sin, but not the sinner. Sexual immorality is a no-no in the Bible, but I am in no shoes to judge someone else if I am guilty of the same general sin. I am of the notion that homosexuality is unnatural; to myself (a heterosexual male) it seems like more of a choice than a built in instinct, basing this only off the fact that homosexuals cannot reproduce. I hope I formed my opinion well enough so that people will read this and understand that I am not trying to judge anyone or tick anyone off.

Edit: And I just reread my post and discovered a couple changes that needed to be made in the second sentence.

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RudyJ    11

The only time I would be ashamed of my child AND myself would be when it turned out to be as much of a homophobic and/or bigot, intollerant as some of the posters here are, THAT would really mean I failed as a parent!

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Ritalin    1

so because you'd be embarassed if your child were to let's say be a transvestite makes you a bigot?

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ZTrang    0

I am of the notion that homosexuality is unnatural; to myself (a heterosexual male) it seems like more of a choice than a built in instinct, basing this only off the fact that homosexuals cannot reproduce. I hope I formed my opinion well enough so that people will read this and understand that I am not trying to judge anyone or tick anyone off.

I think you make a very interesting point - why has homosexuality continued to exist historically if it means that you're probably not going to pass on your genes (if you're a male, at least)? That's one reason why I feel that sexual orientation may be at least partly societal, as from a purely evolutionary standpoint being gay is detrimental to passing on one's genes.

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Epimetheus    0

No. And I seriously cannot effing believe the results of this poll. I thought Neowin had more open-minded people then what the poll describes.

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Cvrt7.62Ghst    1

No. And I seriously cannot effing believe the results of this poll. I thought Neowin had more open-minded people then what the poll describes.

I can't believe that as many voted no as there is.

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soothsayer    0

Anybody see the episode of South Park entitled, "The Death Camp of Tolerance"? Mr. Garrison's speech at the end of the episode would work pretty good somewhere in here.

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MrKuro    0

Ashamed.... no.

Dissapointed.... probably, I would like to have grandchildren eventually, but whatever makes them happy is just fine with me, it is their life.

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Cvrt7.62Ghst    1

#2: Stop with the confusing of open mindedness/tollerance and acceptance!

I tollerate gayness. I don't go around and call gay people names, or shun them or whatever.

Do I accept them or their lifestyle as a vaid? Oh hell no.

Stop confusing the two terms.

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MrKuro    0

Ashamed.... no.

Dissapointed.... probably, I would like to have grandchildren eventually, but whatever makes them happy is just fine with me, it is their life.

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jb23fan    0

Wow. I think this poll, or moreso, the people replying, have basically made me never want to post on Neowin again. I really don't know how else to say it. The amount of bigotry, misinformation, and general misconceptions in this thread is simply overwhelming. Trying to argue it would be pointless at best.

Now I will go back to my godless, deviant lifestyle.

...

Well gee I wonder why you would have that opinion. I don't have a problem with people choosing to be gay, but, if my child was, it would mean that I did not teach him or her to make good decisions.

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HighwayGlider    217

I'll admit it, I would be ashamed. I find it moraly wrong, and I would feel like a failure as a parent for not raising the child right.

Hey peeps, Cvrt7.62Ghst said wat he had to. Thats this opinion and thats his point of view. Wat do u peeps find wrong in it? Do u want him/her to have the same opinion as u? Me 2 I voted yes. I dont have any prob with gay peeps btw.

I think people choose to be gay.

I could make myself be gay right now.

R u still gay right now? :)

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MarkusDarkus    116

No way would I be able to accept my child being gay. It goes against every moral fibre in my body and the way I have been brought up. :angry:

I would feel a failure for not bringing my kid up to believe what I as his parent believes.

My 2 cents.

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Rob    20

Ashamed, no. Disappointed, yes - why would I be pleased that, for whatever reason, my child was in for a lifetime of discrimination? (even if it is better now and more socially acceptable than it was)

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Ritalin    1

EXACTLY

that's the real point...

most of us have nothing against homosexuals... id just rather my children not be gay...

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TheNay    1

No I wouldn't be, but I would be upset since I know I won't be a grandfather, but they can adopt kids (atleast in my country) so it makes things easier. I intend on having kids one day (adopting of course since i'm gay), but thats after i'm retired at 40, lol :)

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Vice    1,593

I cant believe some of the posts in this thread, radical ideas some of you have about what it is to be gay. I'm ashamed to share the same forum with some of you.

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Cvrt7.62Ghst    1

I cant believe some of the posts in this thread, radical ideas some of you have about what it is to be gay. I'm ashamed to share the same forum with some of you.

Hey peeps, Cvrt7.62Ghst said wat he had to. Thats this opinion and thats his point of view. Wat do u peeps find wrong in it? Do u want him/her to have the same opinion as u? Me 2 I voted yes. I dont have any prob with gay peeps btw.

Apparently it isn't ok to dissagree with their lifestyle. It's ok for them to dissagree with hetrosexuality, but OMG don't you dare dissagree with theirs because you are a horrible biggot who will be dammed for being politicaly incorrect and go to some kind of hell run by the head satan of all - GW! :o

:rolleyes:

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Rob    20

I'm ashamed to share the same forum with some of you.

It doesn't reflect upon you, however, so that seems a little melodramatic. The results of this poll are probably no more in favour of the Ashamed option than the rest of the wider population. Is that a good thing, possibly not, but if you're not surprised at society you can hardly be shocked at Neowin.

The only other reason why there may be more people willing to say that they'd be ashamed is because of the anonymity of Internet posting - ironically, it's now not socially acceptable to have a problem with homosexuality at all. I'm not saying this is wrong, but it's a good illustration of the tables turning.

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Deaf Spacker    0

I wouldn't be ashamed or disapointed.

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Vice    1,593

It doesn't reflect upon you, however, so that seems a little melodramatic. The results of this poll are probably no more in favour of the Ashamed option than the rest of the wider population. Is that a good thing, possibly not, but if you're not surprised at society you can hardly be shocked at Neowin.

The only other reason why there may be more people willing to say that they'd be ashamed is because of the anonymity of Internet posting - ironically, it's now not socially acceptable to have a problem with homosexuality at all. I'm not saying this is wrong, but it's a good illustration of the tables turning.

Maybe I put to much faith in society that they would accept the inevitable. :no:

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Epimetheus    0

No way would I be able to accept my child being gay. It goes against every moral fibre in my body and the way I have been brought up. :angry:

I would feel a failure for not bringing my kid up to believe what I as his parent believes.

My 2 cents.

Does your ego blind you so much that you will be having to force your beliefs on your child? And that you would feel as a failure if you did not?

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revvo    21

Yes I'd be ashamed, for a while.

It's easy to say "no" because you don't have any children that are gay. It's like, we accept that ppl are gay and I fully respect that choice and I accept it as well and that's fine but to have your own child as a homosexual (gay/lesbian/whatever) is IMO something a bit different. It is not a lifestyle that we are common to see in our everyday lives so having a person living that very same lifestyle everyday around you, that person being your child will surely make you feel a bit weird at first and that's where I will be ashamed but I'll probably end up growing to accept it and again be proud of them.

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