Ashamed if your Child was gay?

[imtoomuch]

HOMOSEXUALITY IS NEITHER A DISEASE NOR A DISORDER. It is a lifestyle and sexual preference.

And it is not something that needs to be cured as it does not harm anybody.

Living a certain type of life style and having a preference towards something are choices. I thought you just claimed that being a homosexual is not a choice?

[robertobaggio2k]

yes if my child was gay...i'd be pretty sad...look at wats happening wtih all these gay marriages being allowed...n not only they r even allowed to adopt children...i mean hows the kid gonna grow up..hes gonna be confused his entire life not knwoing wtf is going on..thats just wrong...u wanna be gay n be with someone gay sure go ahead but dont get kids involved

[gigapixels Veteran]

Living a certain type of life style and having a preference towards something is choice. I thought you just claimed that it's not a choice?

So your preference for women is a choice? No, it is not. Not all preferences are choices, and I never said this one was.

[Cvrt7.62Ghst]

yes if my child was gay...i'd be pretty sad...look at wats happening wtih all these gay marriages being allowed...n not only they r even allowed to adopt children...i mean hows the kid gonna grow up..hes gonna be confused his entire life not knwoing wtf is going on..thats just wrong...u wanna be gay n be with someone gay sure go ahead but dont get kids involved

Thank you. (Y)

[stezo2k]

only slightly, everybody has a right to their own choice

[gigapixels Veteran]

yes if my child was gay...i'd be pretty sad...look at wats happening wtih all these gay marriages being allowed...n not only they r even allowed to adopt children...i mean hows the kid gonna grow up..hes gonna be confused his entire life not knwoing wtf is going on..thats just wrong...u wanna be gay n be with someone gay sure go ahead but dont get kids involved

Do you have proof that this would happen to the child? And how come there ARE homosexual children when their parents are straight? Does that not mean that a child growing up with homosexual parents can become straight? I think it does.

THINK ABOUT YOUR ARGUMENT.

[Raum]

It seems very few people consider the POV of the child in this matter. Very selfish opinions being thrown around as to what you would do.

I've grown up with a brother who is gay, with parents who while they haven't directly spoken out against it, they won't truely accept it either. He's complained about my Dad pointing out cute girls to him when they're out in public and asking him if he thinks they're pretty, etc.

All in all, the lack of acceptance and the way my parents never speak of this to other family members (Cousins, grandparents etc) or acknowledge his preference makes him very unhappy.

I for one think you people should step down off your pedastels for a second and take my brother into consideration. You can have whatever opinion you want on homosexuality, but when you go as far as to not accept your own flesh and blood because of such preference, you will definately cause unhappiness and frustration in their lives.

Think about it. The world does not revolve around you. If you cared enough about your child to raise it until it was old enough to even realize its sexual preference, I think you're a pretty sh*tty parent to abandon it at that point. This isn't about convincing you that homosexuality is right, I'm not naive enough to try and do that. I'm simply trying to tell each and everyone of you that has answered yes that if this hypothetical situation ever happens and you handle it how you say you will, you can very well become the cause for depression, social anxiety and many other disorders in that child because of your attitude.

If you think homosexuality is wrong, why the hell would you want to add depression and other things to your childs "problems?" The least you can do is make him feel alright with himself, so he at least has one person in the world he can view as a friend. Whether you like homosexuality or not, trust me, they're going to need that support.

[tbcarey]

yes if my child was gay...i'd be pretty sad...look at wats happening wtih all these gay marriages being allowed...n not only they r even allowed to adopt children...i mean hows the kid gonna grow up..hes gonna be confused his entire life not knwoing wtf is going on..thats just wrong...u wanna be gay n be with someone gay sure go ahead but dont get kids involved

Yes, children might actually get the wrong idea and be tolerant of diversity -- and THAT would be unthinkable! We must shield them from everything which is not the same as us. We must birth them in our gated community and keep them there so that they don't interact with those other genetically inferior races, people of different religious and social beliefs, and let's not forget those of less fortunate socioeconomic backgrounds! The world would be a much better place if children were never born to anyone except people exactly like me, because I definitively know the best way to raise children, so they couldn't possibly.

Right.

[kinetix63 Veteran]

You know, I've read this thread from start to finish, and I've gone from being angry at some of the things said here, to even feeling upset over them. But at the end of the day, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

For those that are saying they would be ashamed of their child, have you thought for a moment as to how you would make your own flesh and blood feel?

I'm gay, and I told my parents when I was 18 years old (I'm 24 now). My mother was ashamed of the fact, and it completely destroyed me. It felt as if I was not loved by her any more. She barely spoke to me for a year afterwards, and that was harder for me to accept than being gay in the first place.

For those of you who say that this is a concious decision, I can quite happily assure you that it is not. You could no more happily have sex with someone of the same gender, as I could with someone of the opposite gender. If I were able to conciously CHOOSE to sleep with women, do you really think that I would have chosen to live a life that is not generally accepted, and is marked as being different? Hell no! Everybody wants to be accepted. Everybody wants to feel validated.

If anybody here who has made comments like that here actually genuinely wants to hear things from a gay man's point of view, please, ask some questions. I'll be more than happy to try and answer them without getting self righteous about it.

[gigapixels Veteran]

Yes, children might actually get the wrong idea and be tolerant of diversity -- and THAT would be unthinkable! We must shield them from everything which is not the same as us. We must birth them in our gated community and keep them there so that they don't interact with those other genetically inferior races, people of different religious and social beliefs, and let's not forget those of less fortunate socioeconomic backgrounds! The world would be a much better place if children were never born to anyone except people exactly like me, because I definitively know the best way to raise children, so they couldn't possibly.

Right.

(Y) Amen to that.

[Lingwo]

I wouldn't mind because it is upto them but i'll admit i'd find it hard to get used to because it would be something i've never had to deal with. The main thing is he is the same person who was the day/week before.

[Cvrt7.62Ghst]

Finaly found the script:

Mr. Slave: Oh! I should have never shoved all those poor animals up my ass!

[a few moments of thought, and then more applause]

Mr. Garrison: Uh...

Man 4: [black hair] Courageous.

Man 5: [behind him, brown hair] So courageous.

Mr. Garrison: [frustrated and finally letting loose] God-damnit, don't you people get it?! I'm trying to get fired here! [the applause dies down]

Man 3: [softly] Oh, that's courageous.

Mr. Garrison: Look, this kind of behavior should not be acceptable from a teacher!

Mr. Slave: Yeah, Jesus Christ.

Man 6: But the mu-se-um tells us to be to-le-rant

Man 3: [stands up and raises his arms] Yes. The mu-se-um.

Man 7: [stands up and raises his arms] The mu-se-um tells us.

Mr. Garrison: Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! If you had to like it, it'd be called the Museum of Acceptance! [the audience looks on] "Tolerate" means you're just putting up with it! You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or, or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still p*ss you off! Jesus Tapdancing Christ!

[imtoomuch]

So your preference for women is a choice? No, it is not. Not all preferences are choices, and I never said this one was.

Your wording, which is the wording that most other people use, is what I was questioning. The terms "lifestyle" and "preference" to be exact. Some people choose to live the gothic lifestyle. Some people choose to live a criminal lifestyle. Also some people have a preference to the color blue. Some people have a preference to Italian food. See, both of those words "lifestyle" and "preference" are choices. Using those terms when claiming that homosexuality is not a choice just makes things confusing.

Anyway, think of life term prisoners. Some of them are straight before they are imprisoned, but once inside they choose to be gay. Homosexuality is a choice in some situations for sure.

[golazo]

You could atleast just disown him without beating him up.

Anyway, a child deserves a better parent than you. A good parent wouldn't disown his/her child for being who he is.

well im the last one that can continue my family name, so it would be a HUGE dissapointment. i might not beat him up i was probably was going over the top there, but noone can really say what they would do until it actually happens, something could just tick in your head and you pull out a pistol or something.. anything can happen

[tbcarey]

Finaly found the script:

Well then perhaps you should consider being more than just tolerant, but being loving towards everyone, even if you don't agree with every single thing they stand for. What do you have to lose by doing so? It certainly won't make you a lesser person.

[Guest kirrasoul]

Of course I would not be ashamed, asuming I could actually have children I would love them just the same.

I cannot see a problem with homosexuality.

[seasponge]

No jokes here, in some cultures family is more important than in others (seems like yours is one of them).

My family has been around for 800 years and I would not accept it to end now since me and my brother are the only ones that can continue the legacy.

newsflash. you are going to die. your children will die. your name will die. there is more to life than clinging to a name. are you part of some kind of contest or something? family is important in every culture but some people can see that it is people that matter and not names.

[gigapixels Veteran]

Your wording, which is the wording that most other people use, is what I was questioning. The terms "lifestyle" and "preference" to be exact. Some people choose to live the gothic lifestyle. Some people choose to live a criminal lifestyle. Also some people have a preference to the color blue. Some people have a preference to Italian food. See, both of those words "lifestyle" and "preference" are choices. Using those terms when claiming that homosexuality is not a choice just makes things confusing.

Anyway, think of life term prisoners. Some of them are straight before they are imprisoned, but once inside they choose to be gay. Homosexuality is a choice in some situations for sure.

But not always. And in this case I did not mean it in that way. Perhaps there is better wording available, but I did not use it. In any case, I have clearly stated my opinion and it really doesn't matter.

[tbcarey]

Anyway, think of life term prisoners. Some of them are straight before they are imprisoned, but once inside they choose to be gay. Homosexuality is a choice in some situations for sure.

Circumstantial acts of sodomy != homosexuality

Generally, a 'homosexual' is someone who maintains a same-sex preference for life.

Think of it in the same light as someone who is in dire circumstances and turns to drug dealing or prostitution. Does that mean they are a 'pusher' or a 'prostitute' by nature, and remain so once they are removed from those circumstances? Probably not. That's what differentiates act from nature.

[a67543210]

I would not but would pity him alot and feel I must have failed somewere in raising him to make wrong choices. If he is still young, I will whip out the spirit from him.

[Raum]

Your wording, which is the wording that most other people use, is what I was questioning. The terms "lifestyle" and "preference" to be exact. Some people choose to live the gothic lifestyle. Some people choose to live a criminal lifestyle. Also some people have a preference to the color blue. Some people have a preference to Italian food. See, both of those words "lifestyle" and "preference" are choices. Using those terms when claiming that homosexuality is not a choice just makes things confusing.

Anyway, think of life term prisoners. Some of them are straight before they are imprisoned, but once inside they choose to be gay. Homosexuality is a choice in some situations for sure.

Those people in prison are feeding their sexual desire, not their desire for another man. They cannot get a woman, so they get the next best thing. How many of them do you think hook up with men at gay bars after they serve their term?

[Leddy]

I suppose it depends on what type of morals and values you have.

If you are a selfish, unkind, and insecure person, you'll probably answer "yes" to this question, and continue to defend the reasons why you're not a bigot for wanting 10% of the population to simply disappear and cease to exist.

If you're a kind, loving, and thoughtful individual, you'll answer "no", because your goal will be to first and foremost appreciate others and to see the best in them, irrespective of whether or not you agree with or can relate to every single element of their life (including sexuality, one that has arguably very little bearing on their other day-to-day ongoings).

Many people choose the former option, because many people do not have the capacity to love others openly, and because they are scared of difference that they cannot personally understand. It is for this group of people that I feel 'ashamed', not for the children in question.

Your post isn't very thoughtful.

If homosexuality is truely a choice, then why can't we be thoughtful AND choose heterosexuality?

It's like religion. Religion is a choice. If I was a christian, (which i'm not), wouldn't I be at least disappointed (if not angry!) that my (hypothetical) child took up Islam?

Being ashamed of a child doesn't necessarily have to do with the ability to love him (or her.) I can be ashamed of a child and still love that child.

I'd like to think of myself as a kind, loving, and considerate person. I'm very open to different opinions and thoughts, and my only points of inflexibility are on religion (I'm non-religious and don't like people trying to convert me), and sexual orientation (I'm straight, and don't like homosexuality). It's just what I think, and on all accounts I'm entitled to that, as long as I don't diss people who are homosexual.

And YOU, being the thoughtful person that you are, should know that.

[Malisk]

I think people choose to be gay.

I could make myself be gay right now.

What? :blink:

Are you talking about being gay or imitating gay people in their actions?

The former enjoys it, the other does it. ;)

Anyway, NO, I wouldn't be ashamed of it. Heck, it'd be my child, and it's something you're born to. Life doesn't end with that, and personal sexual preferences is a private thing I shouldn't be overly involved in. I'd be ashamed over someone abusing kids, someone doing drugs, but not this, hell no.

[Splint]

To say I have nothing against gays but I wouldnt want my son to be gay dosent quite add up. However it is intresting, If I was to say I dont have a problem with a person of mixed race however I do not want my daughter to marry a white man, would that be wrong? does it make sense? It comes down to the most basic principle of preservation, some people wantto preserve there race, therfore marrying out of race it just unnacceptable, this is the case with my parents, they will look for me to marry a punjabi girl to keep the punjabi race alive, they wouldn't dream of me marrying a white/black women. I however dont share there views, we are all human after all. The same applies for a gay child but instead of preserving a race you are now preserving your blood line, now I can see why people might find that hard to let go of. I want my blood line to continue, does that make me as bad as my parents in wanting there race to continue? prehaps, unfortuantley that is the world as it stands today. With our ever growing world population having homesexual humans might not be considered as such a bad thing...who knows what the world wil be like in 100 years, a lot will have changed by then, for the worse or better? who are we to say.

Edited January 11, 2006 by Splint

[Raum]

(Not directed at any particular poster)

The whole arguement of reproduction and the human race is rather moot. We're 6 billion strong, I don't think having a few people here and there choose not to reproduce is going to kill off our species anytime soon.