Did Your Parents Abuse You?


Did Your Parents Abuse You?  

348 members have voted

  1. 1. Did Your Parents Abuse You?

    • Yes - Verbally
      26
    • Yes - Physically
      24
    • Yes - Sexually
      5
    • Yes - A combination of the above
      24
    • No
      269


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Telling your child they did something wrong and giving them a punishment. Spanking a child for stealing from his brother.

Yelling at your kid in attempt to humiliate him and lower his self-esteem, make him feel worthless.

Punching your kid in the face because he yelled at your wife ,, then continuing to fight him for the next 20 minutes, taking out aggression your child was not responsible for out on him.

The difference is clear to me, but maybe you have to experience it to know it. My dad spanked me many times as a kid and I don't consider any of it abuse in any form. When he punched me in the face, however, I saw little reason for him to do that.

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My step dad went through a phase of smacking me round the head whenever he felt like it, but I nagged my mom to stop him before I lost my temper.

It did get to the point where anything seen out of the corner of my eye would make me flinch but I have got over that now.

Glad to see everyone else on this forum has a loving happy family. :p

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Occasionally he comes right up to my face really mad with fists clenched and grabs my clothes with a really angry "just about to lose it" face for something really stupid - like if I accidentally raise my voice at him when my Mums asleep. As of a year or so ago when he does that I will stand up (angry mode) and grab him back to stand my ground. He hasn't done anything yet, its my way of telling him to stop doing it and getting crazy like that because he'll get an almighty clump....or kick in the bollocks back if he does. Like Raum said - theres a difference between abuse and discipline. I'm too old to be abused in that way (I'm not saying anyone should be abused, you know what I mean), and if I am, I'm old enough to acknowledge it and I swear to god I'll fight back.

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As a young kid, I was bad. Every week I had to go see the school psychiatrist and she'd tell me how much I wouldn't fit in high school because of my disrespect towards others. I would perform well in class, above average grades but my attitude wasn't right at all. I enjoyed making others laugh by ****ing others or the teachers off. Especially when it was a substitute teacher, it was murder for them!

That being said, my parents were always called up to have a meeting with my teachers and they'd always say the same things about me, works very well but doesn't respect others right and fights regularly with other students.

I'd get slapped for those things. I wasn't surprised when it would happen. Get punished for stealing, for saying bad words, basically for doing the wrong things.

It wasn't abuse at all. The punishment fit the crime and as I grew up, I thought about it and when high school started, I was really different, although I had my occasional fights with some ######, the type of ###### that I would of been if I wasn't punished from my parents. At least I gave some of them some bruises that they hopefully remembered when trying to provoke someone again.

Punish your kids rightfuly, don't abuse.

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Sounds kinda similar to what happened with me and my dad, except the fighting back thing happened and since then a lot of tension has dissolved.

He had a history of losing his temper at times with me. Granted I was a ****** of a son at times, so I know that I did deserve some sort of punishment. Physical abuse, among other types, were not things I deserved though and I knew this. My mom is incredibly hypocritical and illogical about many things despite being a good mother overall,a nd at times I grew increasingly frustrated with this. There were times when I was feeling incredibly depressed and all I wanted to do was talk to my girlfriend over the phone...she was the only person I felt actually loved me at the time. She was my support and I needed her. My mom would sit there and listen to us and constantly tell me to get off the phone, disconnect phone lines etc. I called her an insensitive bitch and said something to the effect that I hope she's satisfied if I commit suicide one of these days. Not the nicest thing to say, no, but don't pass judgement on this, I have a huge history that you do not know about.

My dad's reaction to this event? Opened my door, said turn around we need to talk, before I had been turned around long enough to note what he was wearing there was a fist in my face.

My mom hit me a few times too, like one time I wouldn't get up for school and she literally slapped me in the face for 10+ minutes for refusing to get up for school. Also dug her nails into my neck and made me bleed.

One incident that occured after these, I had long hair at the time. I was sitting at my desk in my chair, dad walks in, grabs me by my hair and pulls me to the floor by it. He straddles on top of me and starts throwing full force punches into my face without saying a word. This was the angriest I have ever gotten in life right here. My dad weighed around 300 pounds at the time, I was probably 150 / 160 or so. I wrestled the **** out of him, gaining any ground I could. We rolled around in my room for at least 20 minutes, throwing punches, me attacking him anyway I could. He'd try to choke me, I'd bite his finger so hard he'd have to get surgery on it later that night. He'd pn down my arms and I'd knee the **** out of him the best I could. When I did escape his hold I ran out of my room, kicked over a wooden post at the top of our stairs and broke off a piece of wood. I told him to stay the **** back or I'd attack him. I ran down stairs, tripped, he chased after me and threw me into our steel front door. I swung the wooden post as hard as I could as his head but he dodged it. I made a bigass dent in our front door and was just scared at that point at how angry and stuff I was. I ran through our kitchen and living room into our garage and he followed. In the garage I kicked his car door, making a big dent in it, and told him something to the effect of "**** you, **** your money, your house. I ****ing hate you and I wish you could of had me aborted isntead of bringing me into your **** househould."

I ran down our street, down a little ways on the next street and prettymuch collapsed in my friends yard. I layed there covered in blood and sweat, tears rolling down my face uncontrollably, still shaking profusely with anger that has not f ully left me to this day. I went to the hospital, as did my dad. Social Services photographed my injuries and after that night I never heard from them again.

Despite how brutal and conflicting this situation was, me and my dad are on good terms now. This was a highly unjustified act on his part, and I retaliated with a ridiculous amount of anger, anger that he was not completely responsible for. He underestimated me and he payed. I did not have the strength to do what I did, I simply had the raw emotion to overcome his physical prowess, something neither of us expected.

I think that night showed him how much pain and frustration I was in, as it did myself. I think we both learned a lot about eachother that night and respected eachother more. Since then there hasn't been any physical abuse on his part.

Mh, I always end up typing way more than I intend to when I get in on that story. I need to go skate now. Skating was my emotional outlet back then, and it still is. Thank you for listening. Be glad you didn't experience that night.

EDIT: Rainman, I was a lot like you. High IQ, was in gifted classes, excelled on standardized tests etc....but I ****ing loathed authority etc. Diagnosed as ODD actually (Oposition defiance disorder or something). The majority of the punishment my parents dealt me I see as justified, but both my mom and dad did some very ****ed up things. Like the time my dad caught me masturbating in my room and I curled up in a ball to hide myself and he wrestled me for about half an hour until I gave up and he could see what I had done. Then the time I had ****ed my mom off and she told me to go outside, and she proceeded to chase me in her car and tell me to run laps up and down my road for punishment. Now what the **** is that about, chasing your kid down the road in a minivan yelling at him to do laps because of a chore he didn't do. What the ****. It's skating time, **** this.

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Depends on your definition of abuse. Beating the crap out of you for the hell of it, or because there football team lost? Leaving marks that are visible 30 years later? Making you hold your arms out straight holding a lot of books on each arm? Calling you all kinds of names, and trying to make you do thing he wanted you to do?

My mother's second husband did that and more for several years, and it made me a better person in the long run. Independent and self motivating. I don?t recommend it for anyone, but it ending up working for me.

And no I don?t condone what the SOB did to me, the results of which had nothing to do with what he was doing and more to do with my personal attitude and drive, needing a little kick to get it moving in the right direction.

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Well Raum, after going through your rant, May I say that I feel bad for all that injustice. That's what I'm against, when it goes beyond the necessary punishment.

It's easy for an adult to take his rage out on a kid, and many times, these adults do it because of things totally unrelated to their children but they decide to beat the children without any clear explanation. If I was in your situation, I would of personally done the same and I wouldn't feel bad about it. I would of fought back against my dad if it was at a point where he'd be on me beating the **** non-stop and I would of probably gone further, god knows how, anything to put a stop on the whole thing.

I think that, when they are in that attitude, they are not your parents anymore. They are like a complete stranger, they do not care for anyone around them and you do not recognize them. You have to knock some sense out of them.

The reason people think physical punishment is bad is exactly because of your examples. People don't want to support the idea of "physically punishing" your kids because when excessive abuse will happen, they will be the ones blamed for it. HOWEVER, when it's just a slap or two or other similar physical hits (not beating the **** out of them), it does send a stronger message than just saying "stop".

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sexually??! was this really necessary?!

Sexual abuse isn't something usual...to anyone....Your question: Do your parents abuse you?

Answer: Yes - sexually

The answer kind of implies that everytime this person does something, his father takes of his pants and teaches him a lesson!!!

I really don't think parents have the energy for that much sexual abuse!

aaaaaaaanyway, to answer your question...No, but my parents do curse around me occasionally

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sexually??! was this really necessary?!

Sexual abuse isn't something usual...to anyone....Your question: Do your parents abuse you?

Answer: Yes - sexually

The answer kind of implies that everytime this person does something, his father takes of his pants and teaches him a lesson!!!

I really don't think parents have the energy for that much sexual abuse!

aaaaaaaanyway, to answer your question...No, but my parents do curse around me occasionally

Uh...sexual abuse means molestation. Time to brush up on your English.

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This also reminds me of simpsons.

Abe: Big deal! When I was a pup we got spanked by Presidents 'til the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non - consecutive occasions.

Marge: Grampa, I know in your day spanking was common, but Homer and I just don't believe in that kind of punishment!

Abe: And that's why your no-good kids are running wild! (points at Lisa, sitting, reading a book).

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sexually??! was this really necessary?!

Sexual abuse isn't something usual...to anyone....Your question: Do your parents abuse you?

Answer: Yes - sexually

The answer kind of implies that everytime this person does something, his father takes of his pants and teaches him a lesson!!!

I really don't think parents have the energy for that much sexual abuse!

aaaaaaaanyway, to answer your question...No, but my parents do curse around me occasionally

Sexual abuse = molestation = the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity = ILLEGAL.

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sexually??! was this really necessary?!

Sexual abuse isn't something usual...to anyone....Your question: Do your parents abuse you?

Answer: Yes - sexually

The answer kind of implies that everytime this person does something, his father takes of his pants and teaches him a lesson!!!

I really don't think parents have the energy for that much sexual abuse!

aaaaaaaanyway, to answer your question...No, but my parents do curse around me occasionally

He didn't mean sexual abuse used as a punishment you silly boy!

Sexual abuse is common, though I wouldn't know how common it is from parents.

I didn't add earlier that my step dad has always been very verbally abusive.

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