If Microsoft Made Cars!


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I hope this hasent been posted before

I thought it was funny!

Subject: GENERAL MOTORS VS. MICROSOFT.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash . . . twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

S2

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7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

Hahaha... The passengers would die before they click on the "Yes" button.

BTW, no.5 (about Mac) reflects the situation of Mac... But the hidden fact is the cost...

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  • 1 month later...

Maybe GM should spend less time on insults and more time trying to make more money so they wouldnt go bankrupt and begging the japanese market for crumbs so canada and the usa dont lose the auto industry lol

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Microsoft will be providing Formula One teams with standard ECU (Electronic Control Unit) for their V8 engines as of 2008 ...

Surprisingly, companies like Bosch or Magneti Marelli -who have long track records in vehicle electronics- were snubbed by the sport's governing body, the FIA for providing the technology.

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Maybe GM should spend less time on insults and more time trying to make more money so they wouldnt go bankrupt and begging the japanese market for crumbs so canada and the usa dont lose the auto industry lol

Myabe you should read how much money GM has got out of Australia's Holden before making silly comments ;-)

Good thread, I've never seen it. Had a alugh.

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I smiled at number 7 - that's pretty good. It reminded me of the Mac vs. PC commercial about Vista's security.

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Anybody that finds these funny is too easily amused. They're just snipes at Microsoft - they are devoid of any actual humour.

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