soonerproud Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I have known I was gay since about the age of ten (I am 40 now. Wow time flies!) but spent many years afraid to tell my family because my dad ( He passed on in 2006) would probably have physically harmed me if I did. I have always taken rejection horribly and was petrified all these years to tell my family about this part of my life. What a pleasant surprise to find while all my family was at first shocked, how supportive they are being right now. My Mom said when I told her "So what, you are the same person to me you have always been and then she called her sisters and with pride told them I was gay. I was so worried of all my brothers reactions. The three of the four I was able to tell face to face while at first stunned basically said you are who you are and this changes nothing. My 20 year old niece Talia said "You are now my favorite uncle because I finally have some one I can talk to about other guys with." My fifteen year old niece also said I love you and accept you no matter what. I am really proud of my family and how they are rising to the occasion. I know it is tough, especially on my brothers to find this out, but we all are better off knowing the truth instead of living a lie. I came out online a few months ago right here on Neowin and you guys have helped me to finally quit looking at myself as evil, perverted or dirty and to just be proud of who I am and embrace it. Thank you fellow Neowinians for your support, I greatly appreciate it. If you are still in the closet, with the exception of the threat of violence or losing your home you will be much better off coming out of the closet. There is a huge weight off my shoulder and I finally feel I can just be me for once in my life and I don't have to be ashamed but can be proud to be a gay man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strotee Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Good for you, I'm glad your family was accepting. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sethos Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I'm happy for you! :) Remember to lube up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob2687 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Well that's a milestone you don't see posted around here often. Hurray for you. (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkaic Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Know how you feel, for years I fretted about how my friends and family would think or do. :( I'm not gay, but actually Bi-sexual. :) Love transcends. A quote i've heard goes along like this: Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves. Love never fails. everyone I love isn't bothered by it, at all. And if there is a problem, then I don't need them as a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calum Veteran Posted August 14, 2009 Veteran Share Posted August 14, 2009 soonerproud, stories like this make me very happy. Congratulations on not having to hide this, from your family, any longer - I imagine you feel much better now. I am glad you are proud of what you are. People cannot choose what their sexuality is. They cannot help their feelings. It is good to see you embracing who you are and being proud of it. It is also excellent to see how your family is taking it. I understand the fear some gay or bisexual people have of admitting it, but I always think it's best to be honest to yourself and other people. You will never be as happy as you can be unless you are honest about it to everyone, but more importantly yourself. I know of people who have denied what they are from a young age and then realised they are gay or bisexual when they are 30 years old and already married. It really would be a horrible situation to get yourself into. The way I see it is that as long as you are happy with yourself, that is the most important thing. If other people, including friends and family, aren't happy with what you are or don't accept you for what you are then it is them who have the problem and, even if it was a family member, I would deem them not worthy of being in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkaic Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 soonerproud, stories like this make me very happy.Congratulations on not having to hide this, from your family, any longer - I imagine you feel much better now. I am glad you are proud of what you are. People cannot choose what their sexuality is. They cannot help their feelings. It is good to see you embracing who you are and being proud of it. It is also excellent to see how your family is taking it. I understand the fear some gay or bisexual people have of admitting it, but I always think it's best to be honest to yourself and other people. You will never be as happy as you can be unless you are honest about it to everyone, but more importantly yourself. I know of people who have denied what they are from a young age and then realised they are gay or bisexual when they are 30 years old and already married. It really would be a horrible situation to get yourself in. The way I see it is that as long as you are happy with yourself, that is the most important thing. If other people, including friends and family, aren't happy with what you are or don't accept you for what you are then it is them who have the problem and, even if it was a family member, I would deem them not worthy of being in my life. I know that's not towards me, But I'm glad to see people with your attitude and opinion! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calum Veteran Posted August 14, 2009 Veteran Share Posted August 14, 2009 I know that's not towards me, But I'm glad to see people with your attitude and opinion! :) Thank you :) I actually thought the same thing when I saw your post, after I'd posted mine :D :happy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Good for you, I'm glad your family was accepting. :) Thank you, I was pleasantly surprised by the overall reaction. I still can not believe it is out in the open and I am having a ton of mixed emotions brewing. My friends across the street found I was gay by accident and have been very supportive. It was this support by people who were not even blood and have a Evangelical Christian background that pushed me to decide to get it all aired out with family. I am finding out the people who really care and that is a important thing to know when dealing with something this big. I'm happy for you! :)Remember to lube up. Thanks!!!!!!!!!! :D Life is always better with a little lube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckboii Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 congrats, ok i have a story, not mine, my close friend. funny and weird. so my friend is not the most popular but hes a very nice guy, and one day he got a call from someone, (only he knows and promised the guy that he wouldn't tell anyone, fair enough), so this guy, who is very popular apparently, my friend told me about him, but i cant guess who he is, i dont know , but the guy calls my friend and tells my friend that he's gay and likes my friend, my friend immediately tells him hes not gay and not interested and hung up the phone. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Well that's a milestone you don't see posted around here often.Hurray for you. (Y) I always been about doing things in a epic way. What a way to make a first milestone post. Thanks for the encouragement!!!!! :pint: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoomyBoy Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congratssss! I came out last year! My family was cool with it =) I'm gay too:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Know how you feel, for years I fretted about how my friends and family would think or do. :( I'm not gay, but actually Bi-sexual. :) Love transcends. A quote i've heard goes along like this: <snip> everyone I love isn't bothered by it, at all. And if there is a problem, then I don't need them as a friend. I have always loved that poem. Thanks for sharing that and your story with me. Your post really means a lot to me right now. :rainbow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neoauld Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 good job man coming out is a huge weight off your shoulders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Veteran Posted August 15, 2009 Veteran Share Posted August 15, 2009 so my friend is not the most popular but hes a very nice guy, and one day he got a call from someone, (only he knows and promised the guy that he wouldn't tell anyone, fair enough), so this guy, who is very popular apparently, my friend told me about him, but i cant guess who he is, i dont know , but the guy calls my friend and tells my friend that he's gay and likes my friend, my friend immediately tells him hes not gay and not interested and hung up the phone. lol. Come again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 soonerproud, stories like this make me very happy.Congratulations on not having to hide this, from your family, any longer - I imagine you feel much better now. I am glad you are proud of what you are. People cannot choose what their sexuality is. They cannot help their feelings. It is good to see you embracing who you are and being proud of it. It is also excellent to see how your family is taking it. I understand the fear some gay or bisexual people have of admitting it, but I always think it's best to be honest to yourself and other people. You will never be as happy as you can be unless you are honest about it to everyone, but more importantly yourself. I know of people who have denied what they are from a young age and then realised they are gay or bisexual when they are 30 years old and already married. It really would be a horrible situation to get yourself in. The way I see it is that as long as you are happy with yourself, that is the most important thing. If other people, including friends and family, aren't happy with what you are or don't accept you for what you are then it is them who have the problem and, even if it was a family member, I would deem them not worthy of being in my life. A lot of wisdom in this post: I feel a lot better in some ways but I feel anxious in other ways. This is still going to take some time for me to fully accept because of some deep seated issues but now at least I can finally become whole. Self honesty is a important first step which I took in 1997 after my divorce. For me telling others was the hardest part since it took me nearly another 12 years to tell my family. Having done the marriage thing I can tell you first hand it is the biggest mistake gay men make to think marriage will fix it. It just ends up hurting people in the end and that is a shame. Learning to just be happy with myself is the only reason I finally came out. I was tired of living a lie and I had to do something different for my sanity. I had come to the same determination you did prior to getting the balls to tell roomate/brother this morning. congrats, ok i have a story, not mine, my close friend. funny and weird. so my friend is not the most popular but hes a very nice guy, and one day he got a call from someone, (only he knows and promised the guy that he wouldn't tell anyone, fair enough), so this guy, who is very popular apparently, my friend told me about him, but i cant guess who he is, i dont know , but the guy calls my friend and tells my friend that he's gay and likes my friend, my friend immediately tells him hes not gay and not interested and hung up the phone. lol. Some straight people just don't know how to react to such news because of fear and embarrassment. I hope your friend learns how to be secure in his own sexuality and not feel threatened by gay people. Thanks for the grats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNay Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats on coming out, it takes a lot to do that (Y) I came out at 14 and it's been 11 years as of last month, time sure does fly! :) I find more and more people are accepting, besides it's your life, whoever doesn't accept it, screw them (not literally) lmao congrats, ok i have a story, not mine, my close friend. funny and weird. so my friend is not the most popular but hes a very nice guy, and one day he got a call from someone, (only he knows and promised the guy that he wouldn't tell anyone, fair enough), so this guy, who is very popular apparently, my friend told me about him, but i cant guess who he is, i dont know , but the guy calls my friend and tells my friend that he's gay and likes my friend, my friend immediately tells him hes not gay and not interested and hung up the phone. lol. LOL My friend did that to his h.s crush, same thing happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congratssss! I came out last year! My family was cool with it =) I'm gay too:D Back to you fine sir! :rainbow: :pint: good job mancoming out is a huge weight off your shoulders Even better I now know the people that count most to me accept me as being gay. Thanks for the support! :punk: Come again? I interpreted it that his friend is a homophobe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hell-In-A-Handbasket Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 grats for your family being so supportive and not having to hide it ( or avoid it ) anymore. personally im of the opinion of a person likes who they like, nobody else has room to judge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yxz Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 im a sexual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOC Veteran Posted August 15, 2009 Veteran Share Posted August 15, 2009 Good for you, and especially good that your family was so understanding. I actually wonder what your Father would have said/did though. That's always a rough one to hear, knowing a Father (or Mother for that matter) who is fiercly homophobic and would literally disown you or something. Really puts things in perspective sometimes when you think about it. One of my oldest friends told me she was gay when we were both 15 or 16. I think at the time I was in my "lesbians are the coolest thing on Earth" phase and she always thought I wanted to see her make out with some other girl. But I didn't, I was just happy she felt confident enough to tell me she was gay (and then a year later to her family). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growled Member Posted August 15, 2009 Member Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congratulations. I'm glad your family was accepting of the "new" you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0sit0 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa83 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Wonderful to hear! It is one of the worst things to be rejected by your family. I came out at 18 (25 now) and with the exception of my oldest sister, every reaction was bad. My mother started out with denial, then anger, then tears, then more anger.... all within the matter of a few hours lol. My other sister said it wouldn't change anything, but our relationship deteriorated fast. My step father told me I was going to Hell. That being said, I am VERY pleased to hear you have support from your family members. I don't know if your personal issues are religious in nature, but I've been down that road before too and it's not fun. Do your own soul searching, in the end you'll come out in to the light. Congrats! :jump: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckboii Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Back to you fine sir! :rainbow: :pint: Even better I now know the people that count most to me accept me as being gay. Thanks for the support! :punk: I interpreted it that his friend is a homophobe. yes, thats what i meant to say in the story, lol. talking about the topic, look, your not alone, Amber Rose proud to be bisexual congrats once agian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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