shakey Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Awesome man. My Uncle did the same thing a while back to our family, he said he was surprised with the amount of acceptance. I hate to think people in this world would be so closed minded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minifig Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Good for you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rev Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Woot! Congratulations! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryonhowley Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats I am glad your family is accepting. My dad did not take the news to well and we never spoke again. It still pains me that he died before we could resolve the issue. I found out after he died that he for what ever reason blamed himself that he had done something wrong in my upbringing that "turned me gay". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoLiMiT06 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats dude :punk: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin-uk Veteran Posted August 15, 2009 Veteran Share Posted August 15, 2009 grats :p I think most peoples fear is a stereotype planted in society by the media :ninja: Come again? no, mayonnaise this tim:shifty:y: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats on coming out, it takes a lot to do that (Y)I came out at 14 and it's been 11 years as of last month, time sure does fly! :) I find more and more people are accepting, besides it's your life, whoever doesn't accept it, screw them (not literally) lmao Thanks, it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life but in the end I feel it is going to be worth it. I know there are people, especially in my extended family who are going to have issues with it, but that is there problem, not mine. I am learning to be fine with it and to quit looking at myself as some kind of odd freak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 grats for your family being so supportive and not having to hide it ( or avoid it ) anymore.personally im of the opinion of a person likes who they like, nobody else has room to judge Took me a long time to see it this way, but this is spot on. It is time to surround myself with people who love me for being me and nothing more. I am tired of trying to paint a picture to camouflage the real me because of shame and embarrassment. Times have now changed from the late 1970's when I first knew I was gay at the age of 10 so there is no point in continuing on this way any longer. Even very conservative states like Oklahoma are much more tolerant, especially among the under 30 crowd. One of the oldest and well know gay hotels is located right in the center of OKC in our gay district. (The Habanna Inn) There are a number of bars located here all within walking distance. (I like the mixed drinks at Tramps, they will knock your socks off.) im a sexual My niece just told me she was Try-Sexual. She will try anything once lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Descartes Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 I think most peoples fear is a stereotype planted in society by the media :ninja: Gosh, you're totally right. Congratulations on coming out, man. I can certainly feel how much better it feels to stay honest with your family - I used to have a similar issue with my parents, regarding my beliefs. Not sure if I can compare like this, but boy, it was some major pain in the ass. :pint: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elessar Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats, It must feel like a huge load off your shoulders/back (can't remember the saying) :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brodel Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 that's awesome man, it must have been a scary relief to tell them. i'm glad they are all cool with it too, you have a good family. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Good for you, and especially good that your family was so understanding. I actually wonder what your Father would have said/did though. That's always a rough one to hear, knowing a Father (or Mother for that matter) who is fiercly homophobic and would literally disown you or something. Really puts things in perspective sometimes when you think about it.One of my oldest friends told me she was gay when we were both 15 or 16. I think at the time I was in my "lesbians are the coolest thing on Earth" phase and she always thought I wanted to see her make out with some other girl. But I didn't, I was just happy she felt confident enough to tell me she was gay (and then a year later to her family). I wonder the same thing though I doubt if he was alive today it would get violent now. It was the threat of violence (My dad had pulled a shot gun on two of my brothers for far less than coming out gay.) that drove me so much further in the closet and paralyzed me with fear of both rejection and violent reactions. Another thing that has kept me in the closet is even though I am leaning Atheist ATM, I still see myself deep down as strange, perverted or a little weird. (Ok this is a little true. Remember the difference between kinky and perverted is a kinky person like to use a feather. A pervert uses the whole darned chicken.) Back on topic, I just can't imagine places like Iran where gay people are hanged just for being who they are. It is a very sobering thought and it makes me all the more proud to live in America. Funny thing is all my straight friends are telling me they like gay porn as long as it is a couple of hot lesbians. :p My neighbor and one of my best friends was ****ed at me at first for not telling him sooner and that he had to find out through a third party. I really feel ashamed I did not confide in him because he and his wife and two brothers are being real supportive, even though they don't fully understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney T. Administrators Posted August 15, 2009 Administrators Share Posted August 15, 2009 I am very happy for you, my friend. I have always believed that true love between consenting adults is never wrong......... there is way too much hate in this world as it is.......... :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Wonderful to hear! It is one of the worst things to be rejected by your family. I came out at 18 (25 now) and with the exception of my oldest sister, every reaction was bad. My mother started out with denial, then anger, then tears, then more anger.... all within the matter of a few hours lol. My other sister said it wouldn't change anything, but our relationship deteriorated fast. My step father told me I was going to Hell. That being said, I am VERY pleased to hear you have support from your family members. I don't know if your personal issues are religious in nature, but I've been down that road before too and it's not fun. Do your own soul searching, in the end you'll come out in to the light. Congrats! :jump: I'm sorry to see you had one of the worse case experiences. There is no worse thing than rejection by your entire family and you are a mazing person to have come out of that with a healthy attitude in place. I will take the soul searching advice to heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Congrats I am glad your family is accepting. My dad did not take the news to well and we never spoke again. It still pains me that he died before we could resolve the issue. I found out after he died that he for what ever reason blamed himself that he had done something wrong in my upbringing that "turned me gay". Same here, it pains me I never got the chance to tell my dad the truth, even if he would have reacted badly. We had mended a lot of fences the last 10 years of his life so he may have been accepting eventually. Some straight people are convinced we "chose " something and your dad was probably blaming himself because he thinks he failed to teach you proper morals. It is sad your dad never got the change to be educated that we didn't choose anything., we are who we were born as. My friends have been asking me why I am choosing to be gay and I have been explaining to them I didn't choose, that in fact I chose to try to live straight many years and even got married. I have explained to them me liking other men is as natural to me as they liking women and that I just am gay and have known that since a very young age. People are truly shocked when I tell them because I do not look or act one ounce gay at all. One of my friends was telling me "you may be gay, but you never were a ***." (I think he meant flaming, but I am giving him some slack because I know he is just trying to understand.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shockz Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I'm happy for you soonerproud. :) I know how scary it must have been, I still remember the exact dates I came out (October 26, 2004 for my best friends, 5 days later with my parents). It's one of those moments you'll never forget... hell I remember the exact time. :p Glad to hear of how accepting your family was. My parents aren't exactly happy with it, but are accepting. It's still a work in progress even after 5 years. Hard to believe its been that long. I'm glad you have that burden off your shoulders... as I know how crushing it can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Vivicidal- Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 It's sad that some people risk violence by "coming out"... I'm glad you are doing well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo003 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Good for you man (Y), and good luck. If one my friend came out as gay, I would be happy that mean one more girl in the world for me to **** :laugh: (kidding :| ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 I am very happy for you, my friend. I have always believed that true love between consenting adults is never wrong......... there is way too much hate in this world as it is.......... :yes: I very much agree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 I'm happy for you soonerproud. :)I know how scary it must have been, I still remember the exact dates I came out (October 26, 2004 for my best friends, 5 days later with my parents). It's one of those moments you'll never forget... hell I remember the exact time. :p Glad to hear of how accepting your family was. My parents aren't exactly happy with it, but are accepting. It's still a work in progress even after 5 years. Hard to believe its been that long. I'm glad you have that burden off your shoulders... as I know how crushing it can be. To be honest I am still frightened to death and I already got the worst part over with because I still feel I wasn't completely ready to deal with this. (Is anyone ever really ready to come out?) This is all surreal to me and it still has not fully sunk in that I am finally free. I know that there will be people I come in contact with that are going to behave badly just because I am openly gay now. That is something I am just going to have to grow a thick skin over and let it roll off my back when it happens. My immediate family has been real troopers so far. I haven't talked to my oldest brother about this yet so we will see how he is taking the news. I haven't talked to any extended family members yet, like cousins, aunts, uncles and my only surviving grandparent, my dad's mom so I expect some backlash from some of those people. My feelings are still very mixed right now and I think I am taking this harder than the others around me. I am still very uncomfortable even talking about these issues with my family and friends and I know it will take a little time for me to adjust. Thanks for the encouragement, I really needed that. It's sad that some people risk violence by "coming out"... I'm glad you are doing well! Agreed! As much as people like to hate on the US, at least we are moving in the right direction when it comes to human rights, including how gays, women and minorities are treated. I am proud of how the people of my country are willing to grow and change over time. Good for you man (Y), and good luck. If one my friend came out as gay, I would be happy that mean one more girl in the world for me to **** :laugh: (kidding :| ). What is funny is my niece told me she would have sex with another woman if she wasn't with a good man right now. I guess she is try-sexual. :laugh: I hope you find that friend, I really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_ph0enix Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I'm happy for you soonerproud. :)I know how scary it must have been, I still remember the exact dates I came out (October 26, 2004 for my best friends, 5 days later with my parents). It's one of those moments you'll never forget... hell I remember the exact time. :p Glad to hear of how accepting your family was. My parents aren't exactly happy with it, but are accepting. It's still a work in progress even after 5 years. Hard to believe its been that long. I'm glad you have that burden off your shoulders... as I know how crushing it can be. I had to smile while reading the thread, 'cause I'm exactly the same - I can remember the exact date, where I was, who I told, and the insanity that was the next few days as the news spread through school. It's weird, 'cause I was just over 13 when I came out (technically I was outed by a teacher who overheard a conversation between me and a friend), and I realised the other day, that towards the middle of next year, I'll have spent more time openly gay, than my entire life-span upto the point I came out. Which is kinda cool, and kinda makes you realise how old you're getting :) To the OP: Congrats Dude - 'tis a big deal, especially if you've been "in the closet" for that duration of time - I'm guessing it's gonna be a big adjustment, but it seems like it's really working well for ya, so again, mucho congrats Incidentially, I'll have a word with Neil Patrick Harris, the newly elected leader of our people, and get your Gay Card sent through to ya ASAP ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanManIt Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I'm glad you did this, must have taken a whole lot of guts. Congrats man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 I had to smile while reading the thread, 'cause I'm exactly the same - I can remember the exact date, where I was, who I told, and the insanity that was the next few days as the news spread through school. It's weird, 'cause I was just over 13 when I came out (technically I was outed by a teacher who overheard a conversation between me and a friend), and I realised the other day, that towards the middle of next year, I'll have spent more time openly gay, than my entire life-span upto the point I came out. Which is kinda cool, and kinda makes you realise how old you're getting :)To the OP: Congrats Dude - 'tis a big deal, especially if you've been "in the closet" for that duration of time - I'm guessing it's gonna be a big adjustment, but it seems like it's really working well for ya, so again, mucho congrats Incidentially, I'll have a word with Neil Patrick Harris, the newly elected leader of our people, and get your Gay Card sent through to ya ASAP ;) Great post and thanks for the grats. Neil Patrick Harris is a great role model for gay men because he proves a "normal guy" can still be gay and proud at the same time. He is also a fine specimen if I do say so myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonerproud Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 I'm glad you did this, must have taken a whole lot of guts.Congrats man This was the second hardest thing I ever had to do. It is funny how this all came about. I was out with a friend getting drunk two weeks ago today. The bar had drink till you drown and then we went to a after party where the beer and vodka were abundant in supply. I got vodka drunk and came out to a male friend of the girl my friend was chasing after he left with her. The following Monday my friend (His brother is my best friend and yes they are fully straight.) met up with the dude and was told of our conversation. The next morning I was doing a favor for my best friend and watching his 20 month old son for a few hours because day care was closed. His brother as he was heading out with their youngest brother only said to me that he met up with the dude I had told and I knew right there he knew. I didn't say any thing all day to Sean (My best friend) about it after he got home and I stayed away all night. The next morning Sean calls me and ask how drunk I was at that party. There was no getting out of this one so I confessed that it was true. I knew right there that this insanity had to end so I told my brother (Who is also my room mate) a few days later and he encouraged me to man up and tell the family. So this is how it all happened. (The abridged version anyhoo. I could fill a book with all the details of the last few weeks.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M_Lyons10 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Wow, congrats! I know what a weight that is to get off of your shoulders, and am glad that your family took it so well. Sounds like they couldn't have taken it better. Coming out to my family was a bit rocky at first, but they have adjusted, and things are relatively normal (My family was always quirky, so this just compounded it with a pinch of awkward... LOL), and they even met my last ex. It goes to show though that even if they react unfavorably at first, once the shock wears off, they can calm down and adjust. And once they're comfortable with it a bit, then you get the questions (Which, coming from family, could be both intriguing and horrifying... lol), but it shows that they're trying to understand and show an interest in your life, so you try to answer as best you can. I've talked about this with some friends, and unless you've come out, you really don't understand what a weight being in the closet puts on you. I honestly never realized it until I came out. It was all I had known. But what a relief it was to get it out there. I even share some of my more bizarre dates with my mother now... LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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