Core Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about B.A.R.S. (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as B.A.R.S. (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects people of many different ages. Believed to have started in Ireland in 1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs and Taverns or who just congregate. It is not known how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are affected, with thousands of new cases appearing every day. Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 6:00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most keenly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual attraction/confidence (even towards fuglies), uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked arguing. In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and speak incoherently. Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also occur. Sometimes death ensues, usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't do this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??" If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or all the symptoms have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday. Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce. On the up side, there is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nosocks Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 i think i suffer from this :pint: <- beer :beer: <- me drinking beer :clock: <- many hours passing :beer: <- me still drinking :x <- me had a bit too much beer :sleep: <- me in drunken slumber :sun: <- morning comes :fro: <- i have big hair in the morning <edit> and sunglasses? </edit> :pint: <- breakfast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Core Posted May 30, 2003 Author Share Posted May 30, 2003 Whoa! Impressive! That's a lot of beer youre drinking... I prefer spirits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted May 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted May 30, 2003 i think i suffer from this :pint: <- beer :beer: <- me drinking beer :clock: <- many hours passing :beer: <- me still drinking :x <- me had a bit too much beer :sleep: <- me in drunken slumber :sun: <- morning comes :fro: <- i have big hair in the morning <edit> and sunglasses? </edit> :pint: <- breakfast Good explanations! (Y) :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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