altezza Veteran Posted May 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted May 30, 2003 (edited) How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. How To Shower Like A Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the "woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your private part in the mirror, scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one) 6. Wash your face 7. Wash your armpits 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar. 11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner) 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14. Pee (in the shower) 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time. 16. Partial dry off. 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire your private part size. 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on. 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your private part, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes getting dressed. *edited because of inappropriate words* ;) Edited May 30, 2003 by altezza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LurkerHere Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. dood... that is so true... :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HPMCommander Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hahahahahahahahahaha w0w Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joel Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Nice, LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 haha that's pretty funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikenguyen Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 LOL :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nosocks Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 it's true ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topher1078 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 :D :D :D :D Very very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trashpickinman Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 thats pretty good, LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memNOC Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 too long to read, but i bet its pretty funny.. so heres an LOL: LOL (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobidem Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 I like that one... that is as funny as the "Morning Superman Pose" one also... will try to find that and post it also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Core Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Yeah! That's me! (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToastGodSupreme Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. dood... that is so true... :D :D :D ROFL! It is!!! Haha, I do that all the time. Usually when I'm in the shower in the mornings, the gf is in the comp room. I walk right by and almost always I give her a little show. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deimos Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hahaha. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kombolcha Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 14. Pee (in the shower) :blink: honostly who pees in the shower? that is disgusting, that's why you always pee before you step in the shower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Veteran Posted May 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted May 30, 2003 lmao vice king. i must be wierd, i don't do half those things :blink: then again, i'm not living in an apartment with my girlfriend. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjordan2001 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 :blink: honostly who pees in the shower? that is disgusting, that's why you always pee before you step in the shower. I do sometimes if I don't have to go before a shower and that running water makes me have to go and I don't want to get out :ninja: :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaredVolkl Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 :blink: honostly who pees in the shower? that is disgusting, that's why you always pee before you step in the shower. That was the funniest one! I do that all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fedr0 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Old but still funny as hell. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hahahha thats great. im printing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 haha..funny stuff.should be passed around im email.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Bourricot Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 lol so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 I have ****ed the shower all my life. I didn't at one point when I was just out of Highshcool living with my girlfriend. But I started again when I showered with her and she peed in the shower and told me I could also....damn. So anyone who doesn't probably is lying. But I don't do half those thing I must admit. But I do pee..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iMike Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hahahaha that's great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fedr0 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hahahaha that's great TEH MIKE ON NEOWIN!!! :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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