You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...


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You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...

  • You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
  • You consider it a culinary success if the Pop-Tart stays in one piece.
  • Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
  • Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Capacitate in bulk.
  • When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
  • Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
  • The E.P.A. insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols.
  • Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
  • Your two best recipes are meat loaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.
  • Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
  • You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
  • Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.
  • You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.
  • Your family prays AFTER they eats!

;)

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You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

Lmao - thats the best one of the lot! (Y)

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You consider it a culinary success if the Pop-Tart stays in one piece. :yes:

I am still searching for that success... :cry:

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