Sweevo Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 Snappy Answer #1 A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?" He replied, "No , they're dead." Snappy Answer #3 The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said. The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket. Snappy Answer #4 A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck?" The lorry driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol." And finally #5, The Teacher Snappy Answer Of The Year A University lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I supose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 I love #5. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted June 15, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 15, 2003 hehe these are wicked, the last one is the best and the speeding kid one is 2nd best :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacey Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 hahaha.. those are pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted June 15, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 15, 2003 #2 and #5 were funny :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deimos Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 haha good ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 got to agree with the rest which were the best..2 and 5...nice.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 one day im gonna try using 3...might get a night stick to the face though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmh Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[XS] Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 #5 is funney !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev64 Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kainashi Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 all of them were hilarious. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avada Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 :woot: number 3 is my favorite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gravel5839 Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 number five is good, i wish i was a teacher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
do_ob Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxikk Veteran Posted June 18, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 18, 2003 :woot: number 3 is my favorite me2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinsc Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 they are great. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tengcm Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 haha nice ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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