Aircraft inspection logs


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Message Flight Log

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of

humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS

pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way

Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and

S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.

S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined

airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed

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This is hilarious.....please more of this on NeoWin ASAP. This is amazing!

well, sheesh! glad you liked it, but i'm afraid i've got no more of them.

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Some favourites:

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you're right.

this is so great, you can tell that it's so obviously australian :cool:

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omg, 99% of the stuff posted in jokes in funny stuff is ridiculously stupid, but i was cracking up reading this! my sense of humor exactly. thanks for the post man.

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