rezza Veteran Posted June 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 23, 2003 Message Flight Log Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for! P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly) S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Radar hums. S: Reprogrammed radar with words. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 haha..nice humor.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubZero123123 Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 This is hilarious.....please more of this on NeoWin ASAP. This is amazing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rezza Veteran Posted June 23, 2003 Author Veteran Share Posted June 23, 2003 This is hilarious.....please more of this on NeoWin ASAP. This is amazing! well, sheesh! glad you liked it, but i'm afraid i've got no more of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engmike8 Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 haha, thats great! never heard of the airline though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
protomor Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 I got that in an email a long time ago, its still funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldmate15 Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 haha, thats great! never heard of the airline though Quantas, its Australias largest airline. Quite funny :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gweedo Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 I've seen these before... but they're still damn funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kombolcha Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 :omg: that was awesome (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted June 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 23, 2003 That was great! :D ;) Anyway it's spelled Qantas, not Quantas ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 How could you possibly not have heard of Qantas??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quick Reply Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Some favourites: P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. this is so great, you can tell that it's so obviously australian :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glowstick Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 ROFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Bourricot Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 lmfao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinsc Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 ROFL!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theWalrus Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 holy crap, that's great. i'm going to have to show that to my aussie friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted June 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 23, 2003 they are hillarious, the last lot are some of the best :D :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToastGodSupreme Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Haha, if only the rest of the world could have as much fun on their jobs. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTallack Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 I thought the "Something tightened" one was hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobbe Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 MORE MORE MORE! :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eye_see_you Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 this made my monday all better..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 haha that's pretty funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delsphynx Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. Ha ha ha ha ha :D That one is awesome - great post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Dud that stuff is so funny... :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted June 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 23, 2003 omg, 99% of the stuff posted in jokes in funny stuff is ridiculously stupid, but i was cracking up reading this! my sense of humor exactly. thanks for the post man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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