Redmondian Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh." "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," he said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen. Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen." An emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new chief samurai warrior. Only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish samurai. "Demonstrate your skills," commanded the emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opening a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his sword and, Swish! The fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two. The Chinese samurai smiled, then opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his sword. Swish!Swish! The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. No.3 samurai stepped forward, released the fly, and drew his sword. SWOOOOOOOSH! The speed of his sword created a gust of wind. The fly let out a high-pitched sound, but comtinued to fly around. "What kind of skill is that?" asked the emperor."The fly isn't even dead." "Dead schmead," replied the Jewish samurai. "Dead is easy. Now, circumcision.... that takes skill!" Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memNOC Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 hehe the 1st and 3rd are ****in A! (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 where do people get these old jokes from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aem4162 Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 never heard the 1st one, funny :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhangm Supervisor Posted June 25, 2003 Supervisor Share Posted June 25, 2003 :o Poor fly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redmondian Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 Hahaha That's all I have at the moment :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HPMCommander Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 ehe-hee that's pretty good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted June 25, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 25, 2003 #1 and #3 were funny :D :laugh: But #3 was once hailed as the funniest/best joke in the world :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 3rd is quite old...but still amusing...love the first one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 good stuff man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 Love the first and the third ones. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Veteran Posted June 25, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 25, 2003 1: :| 2: :o :laugh: 3: :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramesees Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 I've never heard the first one before, nice job :D Second one is funny Third I've heard before, a long while ago, and its still good :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 haha nice ones, I like the 2nd and 3rd ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vip Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 haha, 1st and 3rd are good :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaraBoft Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I like them all 3!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruBD Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 roflmao, those are real good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loc[a]lhost Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 they were simply great :laugh: :rofl: :D :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savarize Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 hehe they are all wicked jokes (Y) post more if you find then please :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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