+Ichigo+ Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 Enjoy :D A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large. All in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little f****r on your knee!" ------- One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death. Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into the air, catching the woman. Delirious from shock, the woman shouted, "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!" The man replied, "Do you s**k?" Stunned at this, the woman said, "No, I don't s**k!" And with that, the man let go of her. "****!" the woman thought as she began to plummet again. Suddenly, another set of arms grabbed her at the 9th floor. "Thank God!" she screamed. "I would have died if it weren't for you!" The man asked, "Do you f**k?" Absolutely aghast, the woman answered, "No, I don't f**k!" Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there. Falling again, the woman thought that she would surely die. Just then, a set of arms stretched out from the 7th floor. Not believing her luck, the woman shouted, "I s**k! I f**k!" "Slut," the man said, and dropped her. ---------------- Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover. The first woman says, "My husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kind of like that." The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it." --------------- After working for many long, hard years a hooker decides to finally retire. Fearful of spending the rest of her life alone, she also decides to marry. Having been with so many perverted men over the years, she felt that she needed a change and committed to marrying only a virgin male approx. the same age as herself. She took out numerous ads in various newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin approximately 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choices down to one Australian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was convinced that he indeed had never been with a woman and they were soon afterward married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she returns, she finds that her new husband has taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner. Thinking this rather kinky, she asks her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman before?" He replies, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 lol nice list of jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trashpickinman Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 pretty funny, I like the Microsoft one the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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