sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I'm so excited! Apple is apparently branching off into other commercial markets! Not only do they make the (engage reality distortion field) worlds "FASTEST PERSONAL COMPUTER", now they are gonna make an assortment of peripherals! Bear in mind, this is apparently beta hardware, and is cleverly disguised (just like when automobile manufacturers mask their new cars when driving them on the streets), although I don't really understand the signifigance of the case markings. I suppose this is the home-user oriented version of the scanner, since it's got that ultra-svelte white enclosure, which I'm sure is made out of that bulletproof crap, just like the iBook. I'll take it out back and blast it with a 12 gauge later on tonite to make sure. The design seems very sturdy to the touch, and it is quite solid, and the form seems to be following along with the quasi-appliance theme that Apple has been going with as of late. It will go perfect with the iMac's "cheap-K-Mart-lamp" or "retard-bicycle-helmet-with-a-billboard-attached" look. It'll probably go well with the toilet-paper-roll-on-a-chopstick look of the new quickcam, but I don't have one, so I can't say one way or the other. Anyways, good stuff. Rumor has it that the professional version of the scanner will have a groovy aluminum-cheesegrater enclosure, and will play various Bob Dylan songs while it's scanning. It will also have a credit card slot, so that Apple can directly suck money straight from your account via fax modem, rather than waiting for the jibbering masses to splurge all their money at every miniscule hardware refresh. Too cool. Now for the bad. There was only one cable include, and it is securely attached. I'm assuming that the scanner will upload images to the Mac via Rendevous using an Airport basestation, but as of yet I've yet to get the basestation to recognize that it's there. The included manual didn't help much, and to be honest, I think that Apple sent the wrong manual on mistake. The included manual seems to concern some sort of cooking directions, and was written (apparently) by a large African American former boxer. I'm left wondering, but hey, Apple puts out quality stuff, so it must be an error on my part. After all, everything just works. Except for cd-burning at the proper speeds, sleep mode, kernel panics...whoa..sorry...tangent police just got me. Anyways... As for print quality...I really can't tell. I think because of the inability to get it to connect to anything, the scanner settings might be a bit off. I plugged it in, and after about 4 minutes the lamp had apparently warmed up, since it was putting out a not insignifigant amount of heat. Once again, I'm assuming this was either my fault, since I am really not worthy of owning Apple hardware, nor of being in the presence of it's sincere and gratious perfection, or the result of being beta hardware, which will no doubt be fixed lickedy-split for when it goes on sale. Anyways, as a result of the heat, most photos and images I attempted to scan were reduced to a smoking pulpy mass within minutes of starting the scan. But again, this will definately be fixed, and was probably my fault. All in all, a great scanner, and another quality product well worth it's $3599 pricetag (including student discount and one-time soul trade-in). Anyways, I apologize if any Mac fanatics will be offended by this, and I apologize if I, in any way, referred to "That most benevolent of supreme goodness which is the mighty and all powerful Apple" in an inappropriate manner. Not that it matters, since I didn't use the little circle-R thing each time I said Apple, and Apple will probably have Neowin taken down and Neobond dragged out into the streets to be shot like a dog within minutes of me posting this. But it is just too signifigant and important to pass up. Anyways, Enjoy Mac Addicts! Another high-priced quality mac product to have sit around the house and really do nothing with except look at while you're running photoshop benchmarks and crying yourself to sleep. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 i think you posted this in the wrong forum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Sheldon Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 looks like a breville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Sheldon Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 how many rounds of bread does it do at once? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 i think you posted this in the wrong forum... Should it have been in the Macintosh forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betadan Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 sweet! your own Scanner/Lean mean fat grilling machine. does a window pop up when your foods ready? :woot: what can't it do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damien_Old Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 i think you posted this in the wrong forum... Nope. This is definitely a joke... Not only can that item scan, but it can help make you a lean, mean, eatin' machine... Courtesy of George Foreman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 Should it have been in the Macintosh forum? well it doesn't really satisfy the "joke" or "funny" parts... so you copied some text and put a picture of a george foreman grill, and that's supposed to funny? at least nspeds did some handy photoshop to make his g5 grill. this is just stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 Actually, jackass, I wrote that whole review, and with a definate Mac-mentality twist, thanks. Sorry if you've got a stick up your ass and need to feel defensive about a hardware platform. Thanks for proving my point. Now, don't you have some icons to be switching or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 Cant we all just get along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 Actually, jackass, I wrote that whole review, and with a definate Mac-mentality twist, thanks. Sorry if you've got a stick up your ass and need to feel defensive about a hardware platform. Thanks for proving my point. you wrote that whole review? well that proves a lot of my points, thanks. easy with the name calling as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomwarren Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 I have a stick up my arse :trout: Chill out all :hug_guy: :hug_girl: Ahh the joy of people taking the **** out of Macs, it's never ending :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 ha, i didnt even have the determination to read through that little essay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 you wrote that whole review? well that proves a lot of my points, thanks.easy with the name calling as well. What points would those be? You have no sense of humor? You are defensive about something posted in a JOKES forum? You have too much free time? You need to own a piece of plastic and metal to feel like you are part of something signifigant and worthwile? That you feel wrongly persecuted because you have a computer with a little apple symbol on it? You need to take a laxative? What points were you referring to? :shifty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xero Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 how many rounds of bread does it do at once? yea man, first thing i thought when i saw it, i thought it was a bread maker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 Oh geez...looks like I offended the addicts. How will I sleep tonite? Sheesh, I did it as a joke. Get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 ha, i didnt even have the determination to read through that little essay Me neither, i read the title then looked at the pic. Words give me a head-ache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ichigo+ Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 Hey thats my George Forman Gill how did you get it LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 you wrote that whole review? well that proves a lot of my points, thanks.easy with the name calling as well. What points would those be? You have no sense of humor? You are defensive about something posted in a JOKES forum? You have too much free time? You need to own a piece of plastic and metal to feel like you are part of something signifigant and worthwile? That you feel wrongly persecuted because you have a computer with a little apple symbol on it? You need to take a laxative? What points were you referring to? :shifty: funny, cuz i don't even own a mac. i even have a very large sense of humor, i laugh at almost everything. here's a little something you should look into, it's called originality. also funny that you think i'm upset. hardly. i just think you're wasting a lot of peoples time with a misleading title. and to top it off, it wasn't even funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourapples Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 Irony of this is, as I post this, I'm watching a retard dance around and sing 'Baby got Back' on tv. Now that I think of it, this would be a believable Apple product...I mean, they'll buy anything. I could make a fortune!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 yo cocino con george Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cody Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 lol, how long will this thread last? i say until a mod comes around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomwarren Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 lol, how long will this thread last? i say until a mod comes around. It's ended now :) sourapples Group: Banned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memNOC Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 It's ended now :)sourapples Group: Banned oh sh*t :o gotta love five o.. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger H. Veteran Posted June 26, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 26, 2003 5-0 in da house ya'll.... hide the weed! LOL... they can't catch all of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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