Reasons why we love little kids


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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd

found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or

alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you

know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed

in its ear and it didn't move," answered the

child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher

exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and

it didn't move.

==========================================

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What? "I'm

thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes

later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY.

Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!"

If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five

minutes later...... "Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring

a drink of water?"

==========================================

An exasperated mother, whose son was always

getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How

do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought

it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out

and in and out and keep slamming the door until

St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come

in or stay out!'

==========================================

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm

a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was

about to turn off the light when he asked with

a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep

with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave

him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said.

"I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence

was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

"The big sissy."

==========================================

When I was six months pregnant with my third

child, my three year old came into the room when

I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied,

"Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing

in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's

growing in your butt?"

==========================================

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son

of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son

of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what

he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework,

Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you

to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the

next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning

addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching

them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch

is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing,

she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus

two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

==========================================

One day the first grade teacher was reading

the story of Chicken Little to her class. She

came to the part of the story where Chicken Little

tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and

so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,

"The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The

teacher paused then asked the class, "And what

do you think that farmer said?" One little girl

raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Oh

****! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable

to teach for the next 10 minutes.

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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd

found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or

alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you

know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed

in its ear and it didn't move," answered the

child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher

exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and

it didn't move.

at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah.

very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids

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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd

found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or

alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you

know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed

in its ear and it didn't move," answered the

child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher

exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and

it didn't move.

at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah.

very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids

lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes:

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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd

found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or

alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you

know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed

in its ear and it didn't move," answered the

child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher

exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and

it didn't move.

at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah.

very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids

lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes:

Yeah, that bit got me too :laugh: :rolleyes:

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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd

found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or

alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you

know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed

in its ear and it didn't move," answered the

child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher

exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained

the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and

it didn't move.

at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah.

very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids

lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes:

same here.

good jkes thu :D

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