altezza Veteran Posted June 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 30, 2003 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move. ========================================== A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What? "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" ========================================== An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!' ========================================== One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." ========================================== When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" ========================================== A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four. ========================================== One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Oh ****! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldmate15 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 LMFAO.. where do you get all of them altezza? I know all the time if I click that link and you created the thread, im in for a laugh :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'dfound a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move. at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah. very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldmate15 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'dfound a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move. at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah. very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diata Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 yup...woulda been just as funny if the kid stuck it in the cat though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 :laugh: All of 'em are just great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aem4162 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 (Y) please post more!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramesees Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 They're all great :D, very funny Gotta love kids :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 omfg...hahaha.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Panda Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 LOL love that last one :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted June 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 30, 2003 the "sum of which" one is my fav good set of jokes (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tengcm Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaRSightxc2 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'dfound a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move. at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah. very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes: Yeah, that bit got me too :laugh: :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tangoman444 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 great :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[hxc] Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 wicked! altezza is the joke master. go find us more :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 this are great jokes man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[jon] Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 those r just gr8 m8, keep em comin ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pina_colada Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'dfound a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move. at first i thought you were saying the kid f*cked the dead cat in the ear, hahah. very funny collection of stories...you gotta love lil kids lol thats what I thought as well, then whenI read the 'Pssst' bit I got it :rolleyes: same here. good jkes thu :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessterw Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Having two little ones myself these are all the more funny. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null_ Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 omg these are too funny :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomwarren Veteran Posted June 30, 2003 Veteran Share Posted June 30, 2003 lmao good set, nice one ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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